All Gone

(One of the decorations I hate but will miss.)

Ruru the cat here.  I know I've been kind of whiny about Christmas.  Oh, hush, Toothless.  I don't need you butting in.  Yes, I've been very whiny about this Christmas stuff.  But now that it's all gone, I'm kind of sad.  Okay, so I still got some ham bits all week, leftovers from Christmas.  But I watched my person's mom take down my jungle gym, with all its dangly, spangly stuff, and I got really upset.  I sat in the tree-shaped jungle gym to try to defend it and show that it shouldn't go into boxes along with everything else.  It didn't help.  All the other decorations I've been able to chase around and attack, including that fake glowy cat in the window I kept beheading, have also disappeared. 

                                                         (Me being super duper lovey.)

Worse yet, I heard a horrible rumor that these lovely days when my person is around all day long are also going away.  That can't possibly be true.  She wouldn't leave me for that horrible school place, would she?  I mean, I think I've done a pretty good job of showing her how cuddly I could be all day long. 

                            (Part of the crap I've tolerated without killing anyone 'cuz I'm such a saint.)

I've put up with her rearranging my face and dressing me in silly clothes.  I've even been found sitting outside her door, waiting for her to stop being boring and wake up.  I can't believe all these rumors.  But the rumors about disappearing jungle gyms and spangles were true.  Maybe this one is, too.  Man, I'm depressed. 

This Christmas Stuff

(My jungle gym!)

Ruru the Cat here.  I'm still not sure what to make of this Christmas stuff.  I still love my funny-looking, tree-shaped jungle gym with all the sparkly stuff on it, but everything else is a mixed bag. 

(Mmmm.  Meat!)

There have been wonderful things like when my person's mom trotted out a plate full of meat and shared some with me.  That was a slice of heaven. 

(Boxes and wrapping paper...the stuff of legend.)

There have been other good things, tempered only by crazy human behaviors.  They keep chasing us away from that lovely jungle gym and from a pile of wrapped stuff.  Let me tell you, that paper they use shreds nicely.  Who cares about the human stuff inside, when I can rip into the paper and sit in the boxes?  But the crappy part of it was after chasing us away, then they went right to the tree this morning and ripped open that paper themselves.  How is that fair? 

Okay, but that wasn't the really bad stuff.  That was just the good stuff that people wouldn't let us touch.  The really horrific stuff is yet to come.  My person turned me into a doll in what she called a "one cat pageant."  You may want to look away if you're easily upset. 

(She put this horrible thing on me and called me "Mary," whatever that is." 

(In this thing, she called me "Joseph."  Weird.)

(She wrapped me tightly in this blanket--which I didn't like at all--and called me Baby.  Baby was my obnoxious sister, not me.)

(She put this silly thing on me and called me a shepherd.  Who knows with humans.)

(She put this on me and called me a "Wise Man." Wise, I like.  But man is a human. That's an insult.)

(Meanwhile, the dumb dog, who doesn't mind getting dressed up, just got to look like this as a "sheep."  People don't make sense.)

I had just decided that this Christmas stuff was for the birds--or for crazy humans--when they trotted out the good stuff.

(The jacket so my person can haul me around in a pouch.)

(The treats, the jingly ball, and the fuzzy mouse-looking thing that smells like rabbit fur.)

I've decided that Christmas isn't all bad.  I mean, meat, toys, jungle gym, wrapping paper, treats, presents for me?  I'll forgive it.  This time.  

Snow is a Four-Letter Word

[This is not funny.  Not even sort of, so stop laughing.]

Ruru the Cat here.  Humans are despicable.  Okay, my person did a despicable, horrible thing.  It's almost too painful to describe, but I'll tell you, anyway.  She took me out into that horrible white stuff outside my house and plunked me down in it.  And laughed!  LAUGHED!  Seriously, there's something seriously wrong with a person that does that.  It was cold and wet and nasty.  I don't know why you'd want that stuff around at all.  There's no point to it that I can see.  They should have it just removed.  

[People suck.  I mean, really.]

But it clearly wasn't enough to throw me in that horrible stuff.  Then, she had to send me down the slide.  

[Humans=pure evil.]

And put me on the swings.  

[Get thee hence, humans.]

And toss me in the sandbox.  

And laugh and laugh and laugh like a maniac.  I mean, what is with that kid?  She's usually so nice to me.  And I looked to her mom for help, but I may as well have looked to the nasty white stuff, for all the good it did me.  She just aimed that camera thing at me and laughed with my person.  They're all sick.  SICK, I tell you.  

[Aaaaah.  Better.] 

Everything got a little better when they brought me back inside, but then they brought me just a little too close to the fire and discussed warming me up with the even-worse thing called a bath.  

 

[Not better.  Really really not better.  A cat is not a dog.]

They didn't go that far, but my person did stick me on a dog's leash to make me walk at the end of it.  Seriously, I'm not a dog.  Dogs are foolish enough to play in snow and want leashes.  I'm a cat.  Cats don't stoop so low.  Cats understand that snow is just water in disguise, and you know how we feel about water.  

I should really kill them all in their sleep, drag them out back on the end of a leash, and bury them in that white stuff and see if they like it.  But then again, if I did that, the lovings would stop.  And there'd be no one to feed me.  Okay, fine.  I'll let them live.  This time.  

Bah. Humbug.

[Dogs don't get it, either.]

Ruru the Cat here.  My person still really doesn't get it.  I keep making it PAINFULLY clear (like with claws and very sharp, grumpy teeth) that I do NOT like costumes.  I've blogged and blogged and blogged to tell the WORLD about how much I hate costumes and this whole business of Christmas (except when people give me little bits of yummy Christmas cookie dough or turkey or something).  But yet here, my person wants to actually make costumes for me and the rest of the animals in the house to force us to act out something called a pageant.  Seriously?  Baby was lucky getting out early.  

[It had to die.]

I really really really hate costumes.  I really really hate how much my people leave with the words "Christmas" on their lips.  I really really really really hate how my person comes home with presents that contain fake cats, as if I'm not enough.  Just makes me feel grumpy.  I beheaded one, but they repaired it.  They just don't get it.  

                                                                           [Grr]

But nothing makes me feel more grumpy than all this costume business.  And Christmas seems to involve a LOT of costumes.  They wear silly hats with bells and robes and wings and all these things I can't hope to understand and don't want to.  

[Something is really wrong with a dog that doesn't object to this.]

I just can't wait until this Christmas stuff goes away again.  Except my lovely, green, tree-shaped jungle gym with lots of spangly stuff on it.  Leave me that and send away everything else. 

What Is this Christmastime Stuff?

                                                        (Missing: One Obnoxious Sister)

Ruru the Cat here.  This has been a very strange week.  My person left for a couple of days (again!), but that was the least of the weirdness.  At least I didn't get locked in her room.  

One very strange thing that happened was Baby, one of my sisters, disappeared.  It's not like we've ever been close.  She tends to like to hide away in someone's bedroom for hours at a time and only condescends to show up to beat someone up to steal their food.  Something is not right with that cat.  But what can you do with a nutty sister? Well, someone did something because I haven't seen her in days.  Someone said something about giving her away to a man and his son who needed a mouser, but our people wouldn't do that, would they?  And if they did it to her, couldn't they do it to the rest of us?  I'm disturbed by this.  But maybe it's not such a bad thing she's gone.  Who needs sisters, anyway?  Especially ones with bad breath and claws.  

(Merry Christmas?)

Okay, but enough of the super serious stuff.  I keep hearing about this thing called "Christmas."  I still don't have the slightest idea what it's about, but I'm not sure if I approve.  I am noticing strange stuff around my house.  Like a little house thing they won't let me play with, cinnamon-smelling stuff (I HATE cinnamon--nothing spoils milk or any other yummy stuff faster than cinnamon), and a lot of turkey leftovers that get shared with us.  So most of that is just not good for us cats.  Except the turkey.  Turkey is my favoritest thing in the world other than steak and mice.  

But this amazingly wonderful thing has happened.  They brought back our JUNGLE GYM, that wonderfully glorious green thing that looks like an evergreen tree and smells like plastic.  But it's got all these great branches to climb on, all these shiny things to attack and knock off.  Not even kidding.  It's the best thing in the WORLD!!!  It makes up for weird disappearances of my people and then Baby.  It makes up for that cinnamon stuff that stinks up my whole house.  It makes up for everything.  The world is a glorious place with my jungle gym in it.  You should get one for your cats. It might help them almost tolerate you.  

Blackest of Fridays

(Me, alone, suffering like the martyr I am)

Ruru the Cat here.  I can't tell you how much I suffered this weekend.  Seriously.  Worst. Thursday and Friday. Ever.  Everyone was talking about the joys of something called "Thanksgiving."  Well, my people ditched me on that very day and didn't come back until very late Friday night.  Worst of all...my person didn't see me slip into her room before she left.  I was left ALONE and BORED all day long in her room.  No food, no water, no potty.  Just me and a boring room.  It was TERRIBLE.  Worst of all, when my person finally showed up, she smelled of TURKEY and didn't even share.  Oh, it was a nightmare. 

Oh, right.  So I guess the other cats thought it stunk to be left alone and without turkey, too.  They keep whining about it.  Just thought I'd mention that as if it matters.  Scoutie was especially grumpy because he likes to go outside a lot.  Whatever whatever.  My person's annoying canine shadow keeps begging to talk.  

Hi.  I'm Twix.  My master's awesome.  I love my master so much.  

Whatever, dog.  Stop kissing up, and get to the point.  

(The guy who doesn't know what suffering is.  He had a useless, brainless fluff ball for companionship.)

Oh, right.  Yes.  My master is awesome.  Just so great.  Except she locked me up in a room and left me for a long long time and it felt like she wouldn't come back ever ever ever ever ever.  And I was so lonely I could die.  Okay, Dodger was there.  But it just wasn't the same 'cuz my beautiful wonderful master wasn't there.  She was gone, and I was so sad.  I thought my heart was gonna break into a billion pieces.  And then she showed up again, and everything was good.  Life is wonderful again.  

Seriously?  Everything is not wonderful.  What if she leaves again?  What if I get stuck in that room all by myself?  What if they don't give me turkey?  

Hi, can I say something?  

Maya, you already said something.  That's really enough.  I talked for all the rest of the cats.  You're a cat.  I talked for you, too 'cuz I'm nice like that.  

(Blah blah blah.  Whiner.)

Hello.  My name is Maya.  These last few days were worse for me.  Yes, I was left alone like everyone else, but I was sick at the time.  Before they left, I was feeling really bad.  I couldn't eat or drink 'cuz it hurt.  Everything hurt.  Then they took me somewhere scary that smelled like dogs and cats and medicine.  I heard the word "vet," but it didn't mean anything to me.   I heard strange animals all around, and it sounded like some of them were in pain.  If I weren't hurting so much, I would have run away because I was sure it was some kind of torture chamber.  But then this strange person poked in my mouth and my rear.  It hurt.  I knew it was my turn to die when they put me in this weird machine they called an X-ray.  But I didn't die.  Afterward, they poked me and took my blood.  I was left alone with the strangers for a long, long time. 

I was so happy to see my people come back and take me home.  But then, instead of setting me free, they held me tight and forced nasty stuff down my throat.  I couldn't believe they betrayed me like that.  But then, while my people were gone, I started to feel better.  I could even drink and eat a little.  I don't know what my people did, but I'm thankful to feel better.  And I'm thankful to be able to eat soft food they give me several times a day.  Nothing ever tasted so good.  I just wish they'd stop forcing that nasty stuff they got from the vet down my throat.  

                    (What I think of everyone else's "suffering")

Yeah, whatever, Maya and Twix and everybody else here.  I still say I suffered the worst of all.  Alone.  Bored.  Come on.  That's what real suffering is.  

  

Cat Rules for Surviving Toddlergeddon

[Behold the terrifying face of your nemesis]

Ruru the Cat here.  Man, you can't imagine what a rough weekend I've had.  My person had the right idea in hiding the second those scary toddler monsters showed up. They were all over my house, tossing stuff everywhere, dumping dog food in the clean pet water, chasing cats, spilling who knows what all over my carpet, and just generally being a worse pest than any mouse.  The other cats and I have been working on a list of rules to follow if not one but TWO nasty toddler beasties show up at your house.

    [Maya failing to follow her logical feline instincts and allowing herself to hobnob with the enemy]

1. Hide.  Hide fast, and stay hidden until there's no sound of toddlers.  Baby and Maya both say toddlers aren't so bad.  These nutty creatures drop food that can sometimes be yummy.  Okay, I'll admit a toddler gave me bacon one of the few times I showed up.  But hiding really is the best idea.  They can't beat on you and pull your tail if you hide.

2.  If you have to come out, run fast.  Those things can really move when they're chasing you.  The last thing you want to do is get caught.

3. Only come out to eat if they're asleep.  They smell kind of sweet and produce nice body heat.  They also have sticky stuff on them that tastes okay.  You see, I showed my bravery by snuggling one while it wasn't moving.  That was kind of pleasant, actually.  But I fled the second it moved.

                                                                     [Dogs don't get it]

4.  Make the dogs take the heat.  Dogs actually LIKE toddler attention.  Even Twixie doesn't find them too scary.  If dogs are out where they can be seen, cats are far less likely to draw the wrath of the wild toddler.  If you have to, chase the dogs out of your hiding place, so they are in a vulnerable and exposed position, not you.

Well, that's it.  If those things show up at your house, I know your first impulse will be to panic and maybe skip the state.  Just know you don't have to be helpless.

Gone Again

Ruru the Cat here.  My person keeps leaving me.  I keep trying to ground her, to make her hold still.  I sit on her.  I hide so she'll find me.  I play in her shoes.  I share food from her plate.  I act really, really cute and irresistible, so she realizes there's only one place in the world she wants to be, but she keeps leaving.  I'm just not sure to keep her here.  She's such a naughty person sometimes.

I don't mind so much when she leaves just for school.  That gives me the chance to get a nap before she starts to snuggle me and rearrange my face the next time.  But it's something else again when she doesn't even come home at night.  It makes me so sad.

Twixie and Dodger, the dogs here, act so forlorn when their people are gone.  They howl, whimper, and bark ALL NIGHT LONG.  I don't want to seem just like them.  I mean, cats and dogs are very different creatures.  Cats have to act superior, so people don't confuse us.  But how can I not act just as depressed as Twixie when our person leaves us and doesn't come home?  Just don't tell Twixie I told you that.

I Heart Science

Ruru the Cat here.  So the bestest of all things is the science fair.  I know that sounds funny, but let me explain.  My person's brother thought he'd like to put cat food in front of us to give us a taste test.  Except they didn't just settle for the cheap, hard stuff.  Oh, no, they went all out and got us the meat-in-a-can good stuff they NEVER give us.  Oh, my goodness, talk about a slice of paradise. 

They brought us one right after another into a room and put down a dish of chicken chunks soaked in cat-friendly gravy.  AND they put a dish with oh-so-yummy fishy pate down right next to it.  It was hard to decide which decadent pleasure to explore first.  I plowed through the chicken chunks then launched right into the pate without giving them a chance to haul it off.  I also refused to leave the room when the next of the six of us came in 'cuz I wanted to steal his leftovers. 

I don't care what their results were or what they were doing it for.  It doesn't matter.  I want a science fair just like that to happen every day.  Every single day.  Only next time, I won't share. 

Tug-of-Mouse

Ruru the Cat here.  So, a few days ago, I caught me a mouse.  It was plump and perfect.  It was so much fun to chase it around.  But then, Maya, one of the Halloween-type cats here, decided she wanted it.  We spent an hour stealing it from each other.  She'd settle in to play with it, let it go, and then I'd steal it back.  I was really frustrated for a while then decided it was actually kind of fun.  I'm not sure who got it in the end; I just know it wasn't me.  I think one of the other cats stole it from her.  

Then, fast forward a few days, and she caught another chunky little mouse.  I figured if she could steal mine, I could steal hers.  So we spent another hour or so switching back and forth.  She didn't seem to like the game very much and was most insistent it was hers, not mine.  Once again, I can't be sure who got it in the end.  But, seriously, if you don't like me stealing your mouse, leave mine alone.  'Cuz all's fair in love and mouse wars.  

Toddlerpocalypse: The Toddlers Strike Again

Ruru the Cat here.  So, remember how these people and their baby and toddler and big, huge mountain with fur and teeth used to come here all the time?  THEY'RE BACK.  Not kidding.  I hate to scare you, but if it happens to me, it could happen to you. 

And here's what's worse than the one toddler and their monster dog: the baby who used to sit still and behave has morphed into another toddler!  Two toddlers have taken over my house!  With two of these monsters and their monster dog, all six of us cats have laid low all weekend.  I mean, the dog mostly lays around, though he sometimes rumbles through the house.  The really truly scary thing is the double toddler trouble because they're just the right size to chase us around everywhere. 

And they don't hold STILL.  At all.  Ever.  They're constantly pounding around, making noise, spilling stuff (not such a bad thing if they spill the RIGHT stuff), hauling everything around... Whose bright idea was it to bring such odd pets into our house?  I want them to go AWAY.  Like FAR away.  'cuz there's nothing in this whole world scarier than a toddler except TWO toddlers. 

I Wanna Be Naked

                                                 

                                                      [Humans and their nutty costumes]

This is Ruru the Cat.  My person did it again.  And her mom, who usually rescues me, didn't do anything to help.  They got it in their head that I wanted to dress up just because that craziness called Halloween is coming up.  I DON'T want to dress up.  EVER.  Humans seem all excited about putting clothes on their body, especially weird ones this time of year.  My person is excited about dressing like me.  News flash: I'm a cat.  Cats like to be naked.  We already have fur coats.  We don't need an extra one. 

                                                         [Puppies make good furniture.]

My person has done this to me before.  But this time, I had a fellow victim.  While my person was giggling and putting that nastiness called clothing on me, her mom was putting clothing on my new shadow, that annoying puppy.  I don't mind that puppy so much anymore.  He makes a nice butt warmer when I want to sit on him.  And he doesn't seem to mind that much when I do.  If he growls, I don't have to take him seriously.  We more or less get along. 

But that day, we were fellow victims of human monstrosity together.  They thought it was hilarious to put us in this:

And this dreadful thing again.  Gag:

And what's this thing supposed to be? 

Really? 

People are twisted.  That's all I can say.  See, this is proof positive people just don't understand animals at all.  We like to run around without human stuff on us.  For the sake of animals everywhere, just stop.  Naked is good. 

Stranger in a Strange Room

 [This pink, weird room may as well belong to someone else, like this strange cat here, who doesn't seem to mind pink.]  

Ruru the Cat here.  So I liked my person's room just fine the way it was.  I was used to all the smells and the walls and the furniture and the floor just the way they were.  I'd shredded them all with my claws.  I had a place to hide under the bed.  The walls had dangly bits of wallpaper I could swat at.  It all smelled like me.  Everything was perfect. 

Then, my people started doing those weird things I talked about, where they rearranged everything then cleared out the entire room.  I mean, there was NOTHING left to smell like me.  It all smelled empty and cold.  Oh, and of old mice long dead and not fun anymore.  It was very boring. 

Then, they started covering the walls with wood that did not smell of me and then slapping on paint that smelled strong and funny.  And was PINK of all things.  Not that cats care much about color, but say what?  How can I take my person's room when it's not some predatory red or awesome black.  The mice won't take me seriously when I live in a pink room.  I couldn't even smell that echo of old mice anymore.  It was all suddenly painty and yucky. 

So then they started doing this outrageous thing by putting new carpet in.  That even more blocked out the pleasant mousy smells and, even worse, the me smells that were here before.  It all smelled like Something Else.  I mean, just anybody could come along and mark it, then it would smell like them, not me.  Oh, and it's so hard to jump all the way onto the higher, bigger bed to reach my person.  It's all very inconvenient. 

It will take so much work to turn this room into mine again.   Why do people have to come along and mess up such a good thing we had going here?  It's just not fair. 

Scoutie's a Whiner

Ruru the Cat here.  I know I'm always talking about Scoutie as a whiner, but this time, I'm not kidding.  I know he's my brother.  I couldn't love him any more if he were a succulent mouse giving chase (speaking of which, I got one this week, and it was delicious.)  But seriously?  He's spent ALL WEEK LONG inside, outside, inside, outside, whining as if he were a lost soul, absolutely not sure what to do with himself.  Come on, bro, act like a cat.  Just 'cuz your people left you doesn't mean it's the end of the world.  Okay, fine.  Here's the keyboard.  People out there, prepare for serious whining.  

Fine, tease me, Ru.  You just don't get it.  Even when your people are gone, you know they're coming back any time.  And they will.  Well, about two weeks ago, my people just up and left me here with Ruru's people.  They LEFT ME.  They were here almost all the time then they weren't.  They even cleared out their house.  I found it comforting that my people's dog was here for a while, but then, they took her, too.  Yes, they come back on occasion, but I just don't know what to think.  This is not supposed to happen to me.  

When I sit outside, all I can think of is how my people aren't here to appreciate my efforts to teach them how to be mousers.  I leave my dead mice around, but they aren't around to ooh and aahh at my mousing prowess.  And it's cold and wet.  My people always let me in when it was cold and wet.  

But then I go inside Ruru's people's house, and there are all these crazy animals with all their weird smells.  My people just aren't anywhere to be found.  I just feel so lost, so alone.  I howl when I'm inside because I want out to find my people.  I get out, and I'm so lonely without my people.  You just don't get it, Ru.  I suffer.  

See?  What did I tell you?  Scoutie's such a drama queen.  Such a baby kitten.  

Weird Happenings

Ruru the Cat here.  Weird things are going on this week.  I can't quite figure them out.  For one thing, that great, big white dog showed up in our backyard.  That's way too close for a big, big dog.  She could actually touch me or sniff me or something, all of which would be totally unacceptable.  I'm in charge here, so you'd think someone would tell me.  I heard that she broke her chain and went running down the road, but this doesn't seem like a bad thing.  She could leave, and then I wouldn't have a big white dog in my backyard.  

Then there's the fact that this cat I sort of remember as my brother keeps showing up in the house.  Five cats are too many already in my space.  I don't want a sixth showing up, eating my food and growling at me.  I think I remember liking him, but now he's just so grouchy all the time.  He goes out sometimes.  Not sure why he doesn't stay there.  He shows up the most when it's raining.  He whines when he gets wet then whines about all the funky smells around here.  If you ask me, he's the funky one.  Brothers are funky by nature.  

Then there's the worst thing of all. MY room, the one in which I hang out with my person all the time, has been cleared of EVERYTHING.  There's nothing soft to snuggle on.  All the furniture and everything has been removed.  I keep hearing something about new paint and carpet, but I'm not sure what it all means.  Then, all these big wooden objects showed up.  Not sure what they are, though they're great to sit on.  Some of them even have shelves, so several of us cats can perch on them at the same time.  Now, the best part of this is the big, interesting-smelling mattressy thing leaning against the wall.  We cats love this thing.  We can scale it and climb all over it and sit where dogs can't reach us.  It's awesome.  I just wish I knew what all of this meant.  

Puppies Are a Pain

(Just the cat with her person.  The right number on one lap.)

Ruru the Cat here.  My people are nuts.  They have all these wonderful, perfect cats around but still think they need dogs.  What are they thinking?  I told you last week about this new puppy, the pomchi, Twix.  He's about my size.  How am I supposed to take him seriously?  Besides, he's just too pretty.  And not very bright.  I was hoping he was just coming for a visit.  Turns out he's my person's new shadow.  I'm my person's shadow.  She did not, does not, never WILL need a dog to worship her.  She has a CAT she's supposed to worship.  Seriously, people.  Dogs are such a waste of space.  They don't catch mice.  They don't snuggle as well as cats.  They don't use litter boxes.  They're just not CATS.

                                                    (An overpopulated lap: too many dogs)

What?  No.  Really, Dodger, I do not want to hand my blog over to a dog.  Dogs leave dog slobber, dog fur, dog cooties.  No, Dodger, Twix does not need to borrow my keyboard.  Oh, that's just rude.  You will not lick me.  Get out of my face!  Fine.  I'll let stupid Twix take my stupid keyboard.  What did I tell you?  DOGS.

                                 (Cats are scary--see Ruru's demon eyes?)

Hi.  I'm Twix.  Are you sure it's okay, Dodger?  Ruru won't hurt me if I use her keyboard?  I came from a place where I was hurt a lot.  I mean, a lot.  I had to be rescued from a hot car, where they left me for a long, long time until I almost died.  It was scary.  And my people, my master and her boyfriend, hurt me and scared me a lot.  I loved them, but it was hard.  I'm only 10 months old.  I have too many scary memories.  I don't like to be hurt.  

Another lady had to rescue me from that hot car and took really good care of me.  I hoped she would be my master, but it turns out she decided she had too many dogs in too little space and not enough time for me, so she wanted a better place to put me.  Isn't she sweet?  

(Me being happy.)

I'm happy here at my new home except when anybody but my new master tries to touch me or comes into my master's room.  All of that is scary to me because I never know if they're going to hurt me like my old masters.  Oh, and I'm scared of cats.  Kind of, anyway.  Especially Ruru, who seems to see my new master as her person and only her person.  Ruru hisses at me sometimes.  

I like to sit in peace and quiet for hours at a time and just bask in the glow of my new master.  She is so wonderful to me.  She pets me and carries me around like a baby and pets me and snuggles me and lets me snuggle her.  She's so great.  I'm getting used to the other people around here.  There's my master and my master's mom.  I like my master's mom because she pets me and feeds me and gives me water and treats and takes me for walks. There's my master's brother.  He's okay because he's small.  I've figured out small people are good.  Big people can be bad.  The one I still find scary is my master's daddy.  He's only been nice to me, but I know big people are scary.  And he's big.  I'm just sure he's going to try to eat me or something.  So I run away whenever he's near.  But I know my master will protect me 'cuz she's way awesome.  Nobody could be awesomer.  Did I tell you she's awesome?  Okay, Ruru, you can have your keyboard back.  But first, stop hissing.  Please?  

                      (This saintly cat tolerating human crap)

Hey, Ruru again.  I can definitely agree that MY person is wonderful.  Wow, that Twix is a wuss.  He seems to be scared of his own shadow.  Scared of cats?  How can you be scared of cats?  Cats are wonderful.  Cats are the center of the universe.  Especially me.  I mean it.  Just "bask" in my glow.  I dare you.