Snow is a Four-Letter Word

[This is not funny.  Not even sort of, so stop laughing.]

Ruru the Cat here.  Humans are despicable.  Okay, my person did a despicable, horrible thing.  It's almost too painful to describe, but I'll tell you, anyway.  She took me out into that horrible white stuff outside my house and plunked me down in it.  And laughed!  LAUGHED!  Seriously, there's something seriously wrong with a person that does that.  It was cold and wet and nasty.  I don't know why you'd want that stuff around at all.  There's no point to it that I can see.  They should have it just removed.  

[People suck.  I mean, really.]

But it clearly wasn't enough to throw me in that horrible stuff.  Then, she had to send me down the slide.  

[Humans=pure evil.]

And put me on the swings.  

[Get thee hence, humans.]

And toss me in the sandbox.  

And laugh and laugh and laugh like a maniac.  I mean, what is with that kid?  She's usually so nice to me.  And I looked to her mom for help, but I may as well have looked to the nasty white stuff, for all the good it did me.  She just aimed that camera thing at me and laughed with my person.  They're all sick.  SICK, I tell you.  

[Aaaaah.  Better.] 

Everything got a little better when they brought me back inside, but then they brought me just a little too close to the fire and discussed warming me up with the even-worse thing called a bath.  

 

[Not better.  Really really not better.  A cat is not a dog.]

They didn't go that far, but my person did stick me on a dog's leash to make me walk at the end of it.  Seriously, I'm not a dog.  Dogs are foolish enough to play in snow and want leashes.  I'm a cat.  Cats don't stoop so low.  Cats understand that snow is just water in disguise, and you know how we feel about water.  

I should really kill them all in their sleep, drag them out back on the end of a leash, and bury them in that white stuff and see if they like it.  But then again, if I did that, the lovings would stop.  And there'd be no one to feed me.  Okay, fine.  I'll let them live.  This time.