Blackest of Fridays

(Me, alone, suffering like the martyr I am)

Ruru the Cat here.  I can't tell you how much I suffered this weekend.  Seriously.  Worst. Thursday and Friday. Ever.  Everyone was talking about the joys of something called "Thanksgiving."  Well, my people ditched me on that very day and didn't come back until very late Friday night.  Worst of all...my person didn't see me slip into her room before she left.  I was left ALONE and BORED all day long in her room.  No food, no water, no potty.  Just me and a boring room.  It was TERRIBLE.  Worst of all, when my person finally showed up, she smelled of TURKEY and didn't even share.  Oh, it was a nightmare. 

Oh, right.  So I guess the other cats thought it stunk to be left alone and without turkey, too.  They keep whining about it.  Just thought I'd mention that as if it matters.  Scoutie was especially grumpy because he likes to go outside a lot.  Whatever whatever.  My person's annoying canine shadow keeps begging to talk.  

Hi.  I'm Twix.  My master's awesome.  I love my master so much.  

Whatever, dog.  Stop kissing up, and get to the point.  

(The guy who doesn't know what suffering is.  He had a useless, brainless fluff ball for companionship.)

Oh, right.  Yes.  My master is awesome.  Just so great.  Except she locked me up in a room and left me for a long long time and it felt like she wouldn't come back ever ever ever ever ever.  And I was so lonely I could die.  Okay, Dodger was there.  But it just wasn't the same 'cuz my beautiful wonderful master wasn't there.  She was gone, and I was so sad.  I thought my heart was gonna break into a billion pieces.  And then she showed up again, and everything was good.  Life is wonderful again.  

Seriously?  Everything is not wonderful.  What if she leaves again?  What if I get stuck in that room all by myself?  What if they don't give me turkey?  

Hi, can I say something?  

Maya, you already said something.  That's really enough.  I talked for all the rest of the cats.  You're a cat.  I talked for you, too 'cuz I'm nice like that.  

(Blah blah blah.  Whiner.)

Hello.  My name is Maya.  These last few days were worse for me.  Yes, I was left alone like everyone else, but I was sick at the time.  Before they left, I was feeling really bad.  I couldn't eat or drink 'cuz it hurt.  Everything hurt.  Then they took me somewhere scary that smelled like dogs and cats and medicine.  I heard the word "vet," but it didn't mean anything to me.   I heard strange animals all around, and it sounded like some of them were in pain.  If I weren't hurting so much, I would have run away because I was sure it was some kind of torture chamber.  But then this strange person poked in my mouth and my rear.  It hurt.  I knew it was my turn to die when they put me in this weird machine they called an X-ray.  But I didn't die.  Afterward, they poked me and took my blood.  I was left alone with the strangers for a long, long time. 

I was so happy to see my people come back and take me home.  But then, instead of setting me free, they held me tight and forced nasty stuff down my throat.  I couldn't believe they betrayed me like that.  But then, while my people were gone, I started to feel better.  I could even drink and eat a little.  I don't know what my people did, but I'm thankful to feel better.  And I'm thankful to be able to eat soft food they give me several times a day.  Nothing ever tasted so good.  I just wish they'd stop forcing that nasty stuff they got from the vet down my throat.  

                    (What I think of everyone else's "suffering")

Yeah, whatever, Maya and Twix and everybody else here.  I still say I suffered the worst of all.  Alone.  Bored.  Come on.  That's what real suffering is.