He Stole My Dot!

[My dot.]

Ruru the Cat here.  So recently, my people pulled out my red dot.  You know the one, the one that they flash everywhere, the one I'm sure I will be able to kill one day.  Every time they bring it out, I'm all about killing it.  Because it's my dot.  Mine. 

[Bean discovers my dot--see that line on the floor?  It's mine.] 

But when they brought out the red dot this time, Bean found it.  He wouldn't let anyone else touch it.  He growled or charged at anyone who tried to stand between him and his dot.  

[Bean bullies everyone else for the dot.]

Even his best friend, Dude, aka Casper the friendly poltergeist, got growled and charged at.  I didn't even get to sniff it.  He was so possessive, so selfish.  Even though he's only four pounds, half the size of most of us,  he still has teeth.  He acted like cats don't rule the world.  Seriously, his priorities are all off.  'cuz the red dot is mine.  

Yes, That!

[My new heaven]

Ruru the cat here.  Yesterday, my crazy people brought in little bits of plant while I was upstairs.  I smelled something interesting but didn't go to explore.  Then, I came out of my person's room and realized something beautiful had happened: catnip!

[He stole my heaven!]

It was everywhere!  The other cats got to those little green bits of heaven and had started killing it, chewing it up, and throwing it up.  Dude couldn't get enough of it, rolling in it, fighting off everyone else.  He was all about sniffing it and attacking it.  I wonder if that's the first time he'd ever smelled it.  

[Where my heaven belongs.]

Let me tell you there's nothing quite as exciting as catnip.  I wonder if I can get my people to bring it in more often.  We could throw cat parties and almost get along.  As long as no one gets in my face or steals mine.  Then, they might just get hurt.   

Invader!

 

[A contented me.  Notice--no dogs.]

Ruru: 

Ruru the Cat here.  My people have never sunk so low.  Well, not more than a few times.  But this was really really low.  There's only one thing I can think of that would have been worse.  And that possible nightmare shall remain nameless but came really close.  I won't even hint at a possible Toddlergeddon.  *Shudder.*  No, but this was almost (but not quite) worse.  It was the visit of a dog!  I heard you gasp.  You can't imagine the nightmares.  

[That evil visitor with her person.  Doesn't she look sinister?]

My person's grandpa came and, for no reason I can figure out, dumped off this annoying thing on us.  It smelled up my house and almost barked at me.  I know.  You're shocked!  After a couple of days, it even started stealing my dog food.  It definitely stole some attention that should have been mine.  Really, enough is enough.  How dare my people do such a shocking thing?  I just can't.  Here's Dude.  He wanted to help me explain what an outrage this was.  I say was because she's finally gone.  

[The meanie who thinks she owns the world]

Dude: 

So this is Dude.  They also call me Casper the friendly poltergeist because I go bump in the night.  Kind of funny.  Ru doesn't like me, I know, because I just want to play with her.  And she sees that as an attack.  And she always looks so grumpy.  

Ru again. Dude, we're not talking about me.  We're talking about the stupid dog.  

[A much cooler cat.  See?  I don't usually mind dogs.]

Right.  Which stupid dog again? Oh, that one.  See, I've staked my claim on the juvenile male.  He's mine.  I've marked him.  I sit on him whenever he makes a lap for me.  But here came the dog to steal my person and growl at me in my own spot.  Not happy.  At least she left again.  

[The boy comforted me when my daddy disappeared.]

I'm the other dog.  My name is Skittles.  I didn't want to be there.  I wanted to be with my daddy, but he brought me and left.  It was so hard, so sad.  I spent a lot of time staring at the door, hoping he'd come back.  It had to be a mistake!  But he didn't come back for days and days.  I was so sad.  I held to whoever I could, and the boy made me feel almost like I still had my daddy.  I felt like I was going to starve because they only gave me boring old kibble.  I'm used to demanding whatever I want and getting it. 

[Here's a cat glaring at me.  I'm much happier with little dogs that know me.]

I was scared when they loaded me in a car, but I got to hold to that boy because he gave me comfort.  But then, we got to a place I remember with lots of little dogs like me.  And my daddy was there!  It was so fun, and I was so happy.  Now, I'm hope and don't want to go back to that place without my daddy.  Too many dogs I don't know, one that jumps and growls at me.  And too many cats.  

Ruru again.  You make me regret accepting your stupid email.  Too many cats?  Happier with dogs?  Of all the nerve! Did we ask for you?  No, we did not.  There's no such thing as too many cats, especially when I'm one of them.  Feel honored to have been so close to the center of the world. 

Have a Ball

 

[Something about eyes]

Ruru the Cat here.  So check it.  My person has started doing weird things.  I didn't give her permission, so I can't imagine what it's about.  She stares at books with weird things over her eyes and all sorts of crazy things.  They call it eye therapy and says it has something to do with headaches she gets when she reads.  Never had them.  Seems kind of made up to me.  None of it makes sense at all.  She can see me, pet me, and that's all she needs to be able to do as a bearer of human hands.  I can't imagine her eyes have anything to do with it.  Her eyes can't pet me.  

[The ball we all want to kill.]

Anyway, so they did a really cool thing.  Can't imagine how it relates to her eyes, but they hung a ball from the ceiling.  Then, she's supposed to bat it around.  Now, this is an activity that makes sense to a cat.  We can bat balls around.  And we want to, too.  The problem is it's too high.  We can't reach it.  If you are going to leave a dangling ball around, make it so cats can kill it.  It looks like the soft foam kind of ball.  If we can reach it, we can kill it.  And, trust me, I want to kill it.  

[Dude wants it.]

Dude wants it more than I do.  He watches it all the time and jumps for it.  But none of us has gotten it yet.  

[Egg-shaped things that smell weird hidden throughout the house to be hunted and killed.]

I guess as a consolation prize, our people put little egg-shaped plastic things all over the house for us to kill last night. We didn't get to bat them around much before the kids came downstairs and disappeared them.  But at least we got the night to kill them.  It wasn't as exciting as killing that ball would be.  But I guess we'll take what we can get until humans figure out we're in charge.  

I Like to Purr

 

[This is my kitten, Paige.]

Me: 
Ruru the Cat here.  Don't be thinking that title is about me.  I'll sometimes vibrate a little.  I make you work for hearing me purr because a cat's purr is, first and foremost, for the cat.  When I'm feeling down or in pain or you humans are causing me pain by stubbornly refusing to feed me 20 times a day, or I guess when I'm at peace with the universe, I'll vibrate a little.  But a loud purr is just not my thing.  However, my huge kitten is another matter.  She wanted to tell you all about it.  

[I like my kitten.  She's one of two cats I can actually stand.]

Paige: 

i like to hide.  i hide downstairs because there are too many people in the main part of the house.  there are too many animals.  i like it quiet.  i like peace.  i don't like chaos. i don't really like being stuck in my person's room for a long time.  it gets boring.  but at least i have a quiet place to hide under the bed. but my favorite time of day is when my person, my mommy, grabs me and holds me.  i purr and purr and purr as loudly as i can so she can know i love her.  i spread out on her and hug her and purr, and she pets me and pets me and pets me.  it's the happiest time of my life, way better than anything else.  other people can pet me.  i may purr for them.  but my favorite thing is to be held by my mommy.  

[Except when she takes my spot. And my person.]

Me: 

Kiss up much?  That may explain why she seems to keep you in there a lot longer than me.  It may also be because I escape as quickly as I can.  I know I don't have to be stuck in there if I don't want to be.  But just remember, little one, that she was MY person first.  I don't have to purr loudly or hug her or anything to know she's mine.  I claimed her, so she's mine.  Always remember that. 

Bean Refried

[Public enemy number one]

 Ruru the at here.  So Bean's been bugging me to use my blog again.  Seriously?  I wanted to rant some more about how often my person comes home smelling like kittens.  It's getting to be a serious concern around here.  At least for me.  'Cuz I let a kitten (or two) live in my house, and now, two of the people around here, including MY person, have been claimed.  My room is regularly invaded by my kitten.  I'm just getting to be a softy in my old(ish but not really, not like Maya) age.  Okay, fine, Bean.  You can say something. 

[Me and my baby sister!]

I'm Bean! Hi hi hi!  I got to go on an awesome trip!  My mommy took me in a cage!  I didn't like that!  But then, we got to a big house with a person that smelled familiar!  And I saw my baby Sister, Cinnamon!  Her daddy calls her Demon Princess!  Not sure why!  At first, she was a little scary 'cuz she kept jumping at me and attacking me!  Then, I figured out she just wanted to play!  We played and played and played and played!  I was so sad when we left!  

[See my big sister in the corner right by me?  She's amazing!]

Then, we got to my other sister's house!  It was amazing!  We chased each other all over this tiny space!  She kept trying to steal my mommy, but then she'd play with me!  It was fun!  When can I go again?  

[When you see one of these fuzzy worm things, just say no.]

Really, Bean?  All that bugging me, and you only wanted to talk about leaving to see other DOGS.  As if that's a good thing?  And then you didn't listen to the rule about exclamation points.  DON'T use them.  Ever.  And definitely not in every single sentence.  Seriously, I do not understand dogs at all.  This is why cats are better.  But not kittens.  NO kittens.  Ever.  

No! Not Again!

[I'm gonna level with you. It's my house.]

Ruru the Cat here.  I consider myself a patient(ish) cat.  I tolerate humans thinking they're the center of the world when it's obvious cats are.  Specifically, me.  I let them keep their dogs, even the little, annoying one.  I let the other cats in the house live, in spite of the temptation to find a way to eliminate them.  Cuz I'm awesome like that.  

[A portrait of evil.  Watch me ignore him.]

The one thing I WILL NOT tolerate is younglings, not human or dog or especially cats.  I mean, it's my house.  I claimed it.  I marked it with my face.  It's mine.  And I blog about that a lot, just to remind you.  So when my person came in smelling like kitten, I started to get nervous and think through all the babies of every sort people keeping bringing over here.  

[See?  I can tolerate them. But once they get in, they don't always leave. And then, they take over.]

I tolerated a whole pile of kittens last year, and two of them weren't even kicked out the door.  My people kept them without my permission.  So I claimed one of them because she was less of a pain than the others, but now she's taken over my spot most days in my person's room.  My room.  

[And don't forget the puppies I let live.  THREE of them.  But only one stayed. Still one too many.]

Plus, my people brought in THREE puppies.   One of which didn't leave.  Seriously.  I'm a martyr.  Not kidding.  

[My person playing with fire AGAIN.]

But now, not only did my person show up smelling like kittens, but I've seen pictures.  ACTUAL pictures of my person playing with kittens. Like new ones, not the ones I tolerated last year.  No.  Just No.  I've had enough kittens to last a liftime.  In spite of the hype, there's nothing cute about kittens.  Except mine.  She's sort of grown on me.  But no more.  My house.  My rules.  Mine.