Invader!

 

[A contented me.  Notice--no dogs.]

Ruru: 

Ruru the Cat here.  My people have never sunk so low.  Well, not more than a few times.  But this was really really low.  There's only one thing I can think of that would have been worse.  And that possible nightmare shall remain nameless but came really close.  I won't even hint at a possible Toddlergeddon.  *Shudder.*  No, but this was almost (but not quite) worse.  It was the visit of a dog!  I heard you gasp.  You can't imagine the nightmares.  

[That evil visitor with her person.  Doesn't she look sinister?]

My person's grandpa came and, for no reason I can figure out, dumped off this annoying thing on us.  It smelled up my house and almost barked at me.  I know.  You're shocked!  After a couple of days, it even started stealing my dog food.  It definitely stole some attention that should have been mine.  Really, enough is enough.  How dare my people do such a shocking thing?  I just can't.  Here's Dude.  He wanted to help me explain what an outrage this was.  I say was because she's finally gone.  

[The meanie who thinks she owns the world]

Dude: 

So this is Dude.  They also call me Casper the friendly poltergeist because I go bump in the night.  Kind of funny.  Ru doesn't like me, I know, because I just want to play with her.  And she sees that as an attack.  And she always looks so grumpy.  

Ru again. Dude, we're not talking about me.  We're talking about the stupid dog.  

[A much cooler cat.  See?  I don't usually mind dogs.]

Right.  Which stupid dog again? Oh, that one.  See, I've staked my claim on the juvenile male.  He's mine.  I've marked him.  I sit on him whenever he makes a lap for me.  But here came the dog to steal my person and growl at me in my own spot.  Not happy.  At least she left again.  

[The boy comforted me when my daddy disappeared.]

I'm the other dog.  My name is Skittles.  I didn't want to be there.  I wanted to be with my daddy, but he brought me and left.  It was so hard, so sad.  I spent a lot of time staring at the door, hoping he'd come back.  It had to be a mistake!  But he didn't come back for days and days.  I was so sad.  I held to whoever I could, and the boy made me feel almost like I still had my daddy.  I felt like I was going to starve because they only gave me boring old kibble.  I'm used to demanding whatever I want and getting it. 

[Here's a cat glaring at me.  I'm much happier with little dogs that know me.]

I was scared when they loaded me in a car, but I got to hold to that boy because he gave me comfort.  But then, we got to a place I remember with lots of little dogs like me.  And my daddy was there!  It was so fun, and I was so happy.  Now, I'm hope and don't want to go back to that place without my daddy.  Too many dogs I don't know, one that jumps and growls at me.  And too many cats.  

Ruru again.  You make me regret accepting your stupid email.  Too many cats?  Happier with dogs?  Of all the nerve! Did we ask for you?  No, we did not.  There's no such thing as too many cats, especially when I'm one of them.  Feel honored to have been so close to the center of the world.