Weird Stuff Inside

[catnip] 

 Ruru the Cat here. Last time, I talked about weird stuff going on outside my house. All of that is still going on. But more weirdness is happening. Most of it has been good. And I've missed out on all the good stuff because the cats who have taken over my house in recent years are scary. I don't understand why. I mostly raised them. You'd think they'd like me better. Okay, so maybe I would beat them up because I hate kittens. But that's no reason for them to grow into cats who are mostly bigger than me and like to chase me around. Seriously. I gave them actual minutes of my precious time, teaching them the world can be hard. That's a useful lesson, isn't it? They should be GRATEFUL. Anyway, so when something cool like catnip comes into my living room, I miss out because I'm hiding from everyone. 

[Live rat]

Man, I love catnip. Why didn't they bring ME catnip? Just because it dries fast, and I hang out on their bed shouldn't mean I miss out. A different day, my people brought home a live rat. A real one. And nobody told me until it had gone into a snake. Why? How could they do this to me? It should have been my rat. I like living things. I kill them slowly enough that everyone around me is filled with envy for my awesomeness. They make me find and kill them by myself instead of serving them up for me like this. I feel so left out. 

[Banana ball on the cat tree]

But it gets worse. My people bring home snakes and don't even give me a shot at batting around this epic living string. It's living AND long and string-like. Look at this. This is a natural fit for my favorite kind of toy. It wouldn't take long. Just an hour or so. Think of what fun I'd have over that hour. But my people won't even let me in the same room with them. 

[Dumpy Tree Frog]

Worst of all, my people brought home frogs and didn't even tell me about it until they put them in the room that used to be mine, before other cats took it over. I understand they put them behind glass and don't even let cats play with them. Think of all the entertainment that could come from pouncing on these morsels. But nobody is giving me a chance to show what a great predator I can be. What's the world coming to? Give me a shot, guys. If you're going to bring home such fine toys, at least give me a shot at them. The nerve. Seriously.