My Box!

[Bonding with my box.]

 Ruru the Cat here.  I want everyone to know this is my box.  I have claimed it.  It's my box.  All the other cats in the house think they can borrow it, steal it, love it.  But it's MY box.  I love this box.  

[Bean box]

The big dude in the house thought it was funny to put little white (and spotty) Bean in the box because it's a box for White Beans.  Haha.  Very funny.  Now his smell is ALL OVER my box.  I don't know if I can even sit in it anymore because it smells like doggie cooties.  

[Look at that face--the face of someone who stole my box.]

BUT IT'S MY BOX.  Humans just don't get it.  We cats and our boxes...we love our boxes.  Whatever you do, just don't mess with my box.  Don't even THINK about this box. 'Cuz it's mine. 

Who's who of Prey

[Fun prey-source]

Ruru the Cat here.  It's a fun time of year because little things with lots of legs keep showing up, so we can kill them.  They're not as fun as mice, but I'll take them because they hop around until we pounce on them.  Then, they stop hopping.  I'm not sure what they are.  They also don't taste as good as mice, but they're better than nothing.  We've had a few of them show up.  Wren is a big fan.  You'd think they'd tell each other to stay out, but one right after another, they keep showing up.  So while we're waiting for the mice, we'll take them.  

[MORE legs-source]

There are even more of these ones, and they have more legs.  Sadly, they don't hop much.  You'd think with that many legs, they'd hop more.  They also tend to hide in corners, which makes them a little harder to catch.  Still, if there aren't any mice, they're better than nothing.  Yesterday, I watched one hang out in the tub. I would have chased it except it was on the other side of the water from where I was sitting. My people didn't scream, though I've heard some screams come because of these things.  I really don't get it.  Just pounce on them, eat them, and you're done.  

[hardest prey-source]

These ones are the most common of all, but they're hard to catch.  You try pouncing on them, and you get some human upset at you because you land on them instead with your claws extended.  I wish they'd hold still, so I could taste one.  One of these days, I'll be able to catch one. Then, you'll know what they taste like. 

[The red dot-source]

These are even more elusive that the little black bugs with wings.  I couldn't tell you what they taste like, either, because I've never caught one.  I'm determined that one of these days, I will catch one.  But whenever they show up, Bean beats me to them, and the humans laugh.  Bean says he never caught one either.  Hmm.  They must be the hardest of all to catch.  It's so unfair.  

[best prey, a mouse-source]

But if you see one of these, make sure to call us over.  I'm pretty sure I've sniffed a few recently.  They just seem to be getting smarter and hiding in places we seven cats can't reach.  It's so frustrating.  When we do catch them, they're awesome.  They can provide hours of fun, dinner and a show.  It's been a while.  I can't wait 'til they come down from where they're hiding, so we can show them what fun is.  

Toddlergeddon VII: Toddlerpocalypse

[Beware of vicious, sharp-toothed cotton balls.]

 Ruru the Cat here.  I can't imagine my people were warned before chaos descended this weekend, or they would have left the state.  My house is usually pretty quiet, which is how we cats like it.  Usually, the most annoying thing we have to listen to are the little kick-me dogs yipping to get out then, three seconds later, yipping to get back in again because they have the IQ of a cotton ball.  But I'd rather have cotton balls because they're quiet.  

[Hiding from the descending hoards.]

Anyway, my people left Friday night after the standard flurry of activity that told me they weren't coming back that night.  The biggest clue was they fed us early.  No complaints there except they should have come back again just to feed us a second time.  But anyway, then, they came home the next day, which was fine.  What wasn't fine was when it felt like a portal of toddlers and their loud adult owners opened from the underworld to allow one hoard after another to invade my peaceful house.  I saw the first carload coming with the full Toddlergeddon crowd.  Those itty bitty monsters came screaming into my house, throwing toys everywhere and opening and closing doors.  I came face to face with the first one and knew I was doomed.  I just barely escaped with my life. 

[Like a lamb to the slaughter--RUN, KITTEN!]

Then, another group and another and another and another showed up, many of them with kids who wanted to hunt down cats.  That poor one-eyed kitten did not know any better and got stuck getting passed from kid to kid, including to one of the toddlergeddon crowd, the littlest one that was a nice, safe baby until it got bigger and figured out it has hands that can squish cats.  Mostly, Paige, my huge kitten, and the itty bitty cyclops kitten hid in what used to be my room with my person because my person is smart and doesn't like small hands any better than we cats do. She's our honorary cat. 

[The only good thing about the whole mess. You'll note my ears are still back. That's how offended I was.]

We smart cats hid downstairs until there was no sign of those monsters.  The mom here come down, and it was clear she didn't plan to feed us.  However, we were able to guilt-trip her into it, all five of us hiding down there together, whether we like each other or not.  She didn't feed us a lot, but it made me feel a little better.  We did try to creep upstairs a time or two, but then more of those human littles would show up again.  They invaded and disasterized our house for a full day. It was INSANE.  Finally, we're free of them. But you have no idea how much we suffered.  I hope those little monsters know better than to show up again.  

My New House!

[Not in the mood] 

Ruru the Cat here. It's too hot, so I'm not going to write a blog today.  Besides, the dumb kitten wants to take it, so here she is. I hope I don't regret this. 

[Love my brother.]

Wow oh wow! I am Phoenix and I am a kitten and I love my house 'cuz my mommy is here. I love to play with my brother Wren and eat soft cat food and play on the cat tree and with toys! I love my room with Wren and Paige and Mommy!  I have just one eye and can't smell stuff that good but I'm so happy and love my life!  Yay!  

[One cyclops kitten, the greatest thorn in my side currently.]

Ruru back.  I have to apologize for foolishly trusting the dumb kitten to take over.  I knew I'd regret it.  I'm sure none of that made any sense to you.  And I thought Bean was a pain with his constant exclamation points, and Paige's writing was bad because she doesn't capitalize anything. Besides, kid, that room was supposed to be mine.  That human was supposed to be mine, too.  That soft cat food should be mine.  And that cat tree is definitely mine. I keep thinking it's a good idea to share, and it always ends up leaving me in the dust.  Just pretend this blog never happened. 

Celebrating Me!

[Demon Cats keep trying to muscle in on my birthday.]

Ruru the Cat here.  It was my birthday yesterday!  What does that mean?  Got me.  But the humans made a big deal of it.  They gave me amazing fishie crackers.  The really tall human male child sprinkled me with fishie crackers, as many as I could want, but I only took one.  Just to be contrary.  I've wakened my person in the middle of the night just to steal some.  Now, I could have as many as I wanted, so I only took the one.  I like to be unpredictable. 

[The good stuff.]

Then, they trotted out the good stuff, the meat. They shared a little bit with others, including my dumb brother who they said also had a birthday. Of course, he would steal my birthday.  Brothers.  But the biggest pile was for me.  Meat.  It was amazing. I lapped down every last nibble, so there was nothing left for that stinking Wren kitten to steal. 

[The best place for me--with my person.]

Also, my person spent some awesome time with me.  She mostly hides in her room, which has now been taken over by my rivals, including two enemy kittens.  I've had to mostly retreat to my person's mom's room to get some peace and quiet around here.  But last night, my person petted me nonstop for a long time.  It was amazing!

[My new favorite hobby, guarding my nip.]

And, maybe best of all, they brought in a pile of that lovely stuff called catnip.  We've been fighting over it ever since, rolling in it, brawling to have it, sleeping in it, just finding it to be the loveliest stuff.  Except the dumb little one-eyed kitten who can't seem to smell it.  What is wrong with that thing?  I've pretty much moved in under a chair next to the pile of the stuff.  Who needs to hide in the underwear drawer or in my person's mom's room, when I can sit next to the pile of heaven?  Can I have my birthday every day?

Bean's Amazing Things!

 

[Hobnobbing with the enemy]

Bean:

This is Bean the Dog!  Last time, Ru wouldn't let me talk about the amazing things that I wanted to share with you!  This time, she will let me!  She says she wanted to whine about the kittens and stuff, but that's one of my amazing things!  I love little kittens, and we started out with six! Six fun little fluffy things for me to chew on and chase around!  I love kittens!  I was sad when they all we not away, but not the little one with one eye!  She's so cute, and she lets me snuggle her and play with her!  Everyone should have a one-eyed kitten!  Now, I have seven cats to love!  Woohoo!

[Need I remind you what too many cats look like?]

Ru:  

Seriously, Bean, there's nothing loveable about kittens and definitely nothing fun about having six obnoxious cats and kittens taking up my space in this house. A family only needs one, and that's me. And can you quit it with the exclamation points?  It's still my blog.  

[He thinks he looks pretty. I think he looks like a dog.]

Bean: 

Hey, Ru, it's my turn! Also, we had this lady that gave us baths (something I don't like so much) only to turn around and trim our hair and make us pretty!  It was fun, especially the extra attention and being pretty!  It was great!  

[Do you not remember the parts where they combed through any matted fur and trimmed hair in places I don't want to mention?  That was fun?]

Ru: Bath?  A haircut?  Great?  Are you sure you know how to use English?  Do you know what 'great' means?  Great does not mean haircuts or a bath, especially when Snow spent the whole time miserable and complaining because she'd clearly never been groomed before, and even Dodger whined a little.  Even you didn't much like it.  Were you actually there at the same bath and haircut?

Bean: It's my turn!  I'll say it like I want 'cuz my person wouldn't do something bad to me! 

Ru: 

Wanna Bet? They brought the kittens in, didn't they? 

[Me and my amazing sister!

Bean: Anyway, so then, we went on a road trip to visit some people.  One of them had two black things on his legs, but he was super happy to lay there and pet a dog!  He was great!  And he was the one with my wonderful sister, Cinnamon Bear!  We ran all over and played and played and played!  It was so great!

Ru: 

A road trip.  In a car.  Where you met your person's gimpy brother in two boot casts, who'd just been hit by a car.  Yeah, I heard all about it.  And you met with your dumb sisters, who are crazier than you.  And you went OUTSIDE.  And entered Toddlergeddon without screaming to be let out.  That does not sound like fun at ALL. None of it.  Not outside.  Not the car, the boring guy, not the insane canines, and certainly not Todderleddon.   

Bean: 

Don't listen to Ru!  It was all so amazing!  So great!  So wonderful! 

[My "we are not amused" face.]

Ru: 

I'm going to assume you don't know what those words mean and go back to bed.  Remind me not to let my blog get abused by a dim-witted dog again.  

Now, I'm Getting Mad

[It's me!]

Bean: 

Hi!  I'm Bean!  I wanna talk all about some amazing things!

Ru: 

Sorry, Bean.  This is Ru the Cat, and this is my blog.  You have to wait until next week.  I am so upset that I can't find words for how mad my humans made me this week.  

Bean: 

But humans are wonderful!  Wait, what's a human?

[My face on kittens. Any questions?]

Ru: 

Ignore the small, brainless dog.  My humans have done it again.  I've blogged all about how much I can't stand kittens, how much kittens drive me nuts, how frustrating kittens are because they have no respect for big, smart cats.  Particularly me.  

[The hoards have descended on my spot.]

Well, my humans have let in more kittens.  Not just more kittens.  Not two or three or even four.  SIX more kittens.  Six.  My humans have become addicted to the little monsters.  And they bring the little beasts out of their isolated room wayyyy too often to give them love.  MY love.  That I should have. 

 

[Dumb Wren getting my lovings from my person.]

I thought they'd learned their lesson when they brought in Wren.  He's a little bipolar creature who flips from purry sweet to murderous in a second with no provocation or reason.  That, I can respect.  What I can't respect is that he doesn't leave my butt noodle alone.  It's my tail, and I want to play with it.  I don't need anyone else putting their smells on it. 

[Dumb dog, just say no.]

But I digress.  My main point is my house has been invaded by little monsters that will attack me, the dogs, the humans, anyone simply for sitting in their way.  Worse yet, anyone there may just get sucked on because they obviously have no sense at all.  A dumb, little boy dog is not going to give them milk or anything else but a headache. 

[These monsters are stealing my attention.]

There is no logic, no caution, no intelligence to those annoying hairballs.  They just eat or attack anything in their path and poop everywhere.  I just can't handle this. Humans, you're fired.