Bean's Amazing Things!

 

[Hobnobbing with the enemy]

Bean:

This is Bean the Dog!  Last time, Ru wouldn't let me talk about the amazing things that I wanted to share with you!  This time, she will let me!  She says she wanted to whine about the kittens and stuff, but that's one of my amazing things!  I love little kittens, and we started out with six! Six fun little fluffy things for me to chew on and chase around!  I love kittens!  I was sad when they all we not away, but not the little one with one eye!  She's so cute, and she lets me snuggle her and play with her!  Everyone should have a one-eyed kitten!  Now, I have seven cats to love!  Woohoo!

[Need I remind you what too many cats look like?]

Ru:  

Seriously, Bean, there's nothing loveable about kittens and definitely nothing fun about having six obnoxious cats and kittens taking up my space in this house. A family only needs one, and that's me. And can you quit it with the exclamation points?  It's still my blog.  

[He thinks he looks pretty. I think he looks like a dog.]

Bean: 

Hey, Ru, it's my turn! Also, we had this lady that gave us baths (something I don't like so much) only to turn around and trim our hair and make us pretty!  It was fun, especially the extra attention and being pretty!  It was great!  

[Do you not remember the parts where they combed through any matted fur and trimmed hair in places I don't want to mention?  That was fun?]

Ru: Bath?  A haircut?  Great?  Are you sure you know how to use English?  Do you know what 'great' means?  Great does not mean haircuts or a bath, especially when Snow spent the whole time miserable and complaining because she'd clearly never been groomed before, and even Dodger whined a little.  Even you didn't much like it.  Were you actually there at the same bath and haircut?

Bean: It's my turn!  I'll say it like I want 'cuz my person wouldn't do something bad to me! 

Ru: 

Wanna Bet? They brought the kittens in, didn't they? 

[Me and my amazing sister!

Bean: Anyway, so then, we went on a road trip to visit some people.  One of them had two black things on his legs, but he was super happy to lay there and pet a dog!  He was great!  And he was the one with my wonderful sister, Cinnamon Bear!  We ran all over and played and played and played!  It was so great!

Ru: 

A road trip.  In a car.  Where you met your person's gimpy brother in two boot casts, who'd just been hit by a car.  Yeah, I heard all about it.  And you met with your dumb sisters, who are crazier than you.  And you went OUTSIDE.  And entered Toddlergeddon without screaming to be let out.  That does not sound like fun at ALL. None of it.  Not outside.  Not the car, the boring guy, not the insane canines, and certainly not Todderleddon.   

Bean: 

Don't listen to Ru!  It was all so amazing!  So great!  So wonderful! 

[My "we are not amused" face.]

Ru: 

I'm going to assume you don't know what those words mean and go back to bed.  Remind me not to let my blog get abused by a dim-witted dog again.