They Changed his Name?

[Take note of my throne--see?  I'm tolerating my brother.]

Me

 Ruru the Cat here.  I have grown to tolerate my brother since my kitten showed me it's okay to snuggle a cat, that not all other cats are evil.  I told you about that.  I sometimes even tolerate the other kitten in the house, Dude.  Not for long, and mostly it's just me showing mercy by letting him live.  You've seen what kind of crap he gives me.  I have most everyone now understanding I'm the queen of the house.  Maya doesn't, but she doesn't like any of us.  She especially hates me, but that's her problem.  Dude, however, still teases me.  

[My person showing worship for the wrong cat]

Him

But I let him live even so.  You should respect me, honor me, worship me for it.  Or at least he should.  This is why it bugs me that my person renamed him this week.  A cat tolerates a name.  A name is a word humans need.  We cats are just fine being.  We don't need your names.  I know Maya's smell.  I don't need to know what she's called to know I need to get out of her way, so she doesn't kill me.  Not kidding I don't like her for a reason.  

[Me reminding you who is in charge by ignoring you.]

My name

My name started out Ruth then became Ruru, and now, it's any number of things like Ruby or Ru or whatever.  But when I hear "Ru" whatever, I know the humans are talking to or about me.  I can listen but pretend to ignore them.  I know whatever they're saying is going to affect ME.  

[You'll note how he shows no respect for royalty (like me), but a name change?]

His Name

Dude's name is still also Mr. Meowmeow (talk about condescending) and also Quill.  But they decided his real name should be Mr. Casper Meowmeow because they say he does strange things like flood the house or flush the toilet in the middle of the night like some friendly Ghost named Casper.  Who has ever heard of that? That'd be confusing, getting your name changed on you when you're almost a year old.  I would hate that, almost as much as when he flooded my favorite spot under the sink.  Which I would never do except a few months ago. Worst of all, they shorten the name to Cass.  Like in the evil mean bully cat they got rid of a few months ago (hallelujah.)  Why would I want to be reminded of her?

[me, waiting for the proper level of worship]

The Point 

They'd better not change my name, or I'll have to leave them presents in the middle of the night.  A smell doesn't change.  Why would a name change?  Seriously, humans, what is your problem?  I know: you're not a cat.  Moral of the story: be a cat.  The world would be so much better if you were all cats.  Then again, you'd no longer have hands to pet me.  Okay, so maybe be LIKE a cat, but with hands.  That pet me, and only me.  'Cuz I'm the queen.   

Yeti Sledding

 

[A yeti in the snow]

Ruru the Cat here.  Man, I'm glad I missed the dog sledding that went on just down the road.  First off, I'd have to have left the house.  In the snow.  Serious nope.  Second off, yetis.  Huge, white dog things.  Kind of like my dogs, but, you know, BIG.  I can't imagine anything positive about this thing.  But my people went with their cousins, and their cousins took the yetis.  Here's what the two yetis had to say about it (from what my dogs heard): 

[Dog sledding seems like a bad idea to me.]

Mad Mardigan aka Marty: It was fun!  Lots of fun!  My people took me up a snowy hill, and we pulled them down the hill in big doggie dishes!  It was so amazing! We went down and up and down and up, and it was great!  My people were there and everything! 

[Pulling my person through the snow!]

I tried to pull my people over to visit other people doing down the snowy hill.  I dragged them off their feet and everything, but they didn't let me go visit the people.  It was sad.  But then, we got to go up and down and up and down and up and down!  In the snow! Wow!  Can we go again?  

[Fun with dog sledding.]

Sorcha:  What my esteemed colleague means is our people took us sledding.  They each took a sled while holding our leashes then had us pull them down the hills.  Our human companions weren't very good at steering the sleds when we were running down the hill, but they seemed to find spinning out and falling over into the snow just as much fun as going in a straight line.  The best part was spending time with our people.  I'd do that again any day!

[You'll note our dogs aren't bigger than cats, so they couldn't pull anything through the snow. You'll also notice we cats aren't stupid enough to be interested in snow.]

Ruru again.  Now, my dogs all wish they got to go and pull our people around on sleds.  They don't seem to get that they're a LOT smaller than the yetis.  They'd get run over or buried.  Now, THAT I'd even go into the snow to watch.  Just thinking about 4-pound Bean trying to pull anything through the snow makes me fall over laughing.  Hey, do you think we can talk our people into going again?  I could use a good laugh. 

The Right Kind of Play

 

[playing right]

Ruru the Cat here.  A couple of weeks ago, I told you how I like to play.  I chase my tail all over the top of the cat tree.  Okay, so you may think it sounds like a dog thing.  Dogs do NOT have my crazy awesome flexibility and ability to defy gravity.  I do it better. And best of all, there's nothing with claws up there to fight back.  

[Dude playing with a dog]

Dude doesn't get it.  He keeps trying to pick fights.   Worse yet, he sometimes gets dog smells on him by playing with the dog.  Which means that he gets dog smells on MY cat tree.  

[The only thing Toothless gets right-snuggling me.]

Toothless doesn't get it.  He will sometimes let me snuggle him and will sometimes steal my spot at the top of the cat tree. Neither gets how to play right, and they also don't understand the cat tree is mine.  I claimed it, so it's mine.  Old Lady Maya hasn't known how to play for the whole time I've known her.  She just gets grumpy on anything with four legs.  I get that.  That's the only thing I like about her.  My kitten will only play with Dude, which shows poor taste in playmates.  

[Showing yet another example of how to play right.]

Basically, I'm the only one who knows how to play right.  So if you're going to learn how to be a proper cat, look to me. But don't touch me, 'cuz I'm taking a nap from all that play.  

My Baby's Huge

 

[Note me making the mistake of not killing her and her HUGE, clueless eyes]

Ruru the Cat here.  So when my person brought me a kitten, I didn't kill it.  You're welcome.  I hate kittens.  But when I hissed at this little puffball and tried to swat at her, she just blinked at me with her big, blue eyes.  She didn't seem to know how to cat, which means give as good as you get and kill the opponent.  I couldn't kill her, even though she was a kitten, the enemy.  She didn't even attack my tail or anything.  There was just no hostility in this little thing. So I let her live.  

[Here she is, begging for my cheese--but this is when she was still shorter.]

Now, I wonder if I made the right choice 'cuz she's bigger than me and now knows how to defend herself.  That makes her a CAT.  We've already got enough cats around here.  I mean, there's me, and who would need any others?  Okay, so there are also three black cats so identical, the humans had to put a collar on one of them to tell them apart, and Bean now attacks all of them as if unsure which is which.  His best buddy is one of them, and he's confused about which one will play with him, which will ignore him as if he's a particular obnoxious puff of air, and which will hiss to remind him he's a dog and, therefore, Satan. Heck, I'm not sure which of these he is.  Depends on the day. 

 

[Look at her--she's bigger than me! And looking wayyyy too comfy.]

What was I talking about?  Right.  My kitten.  She still gives me that blank look, so when I go to attack her and remind her this is my house, she just purrs or gives me that blank look.  I can't do it.  I can't. So I go to kill her and end up licking her or snuggling her.  At the very least, I leave her alone as if this is her house, too.  What's wrong with me? I must be slipping.  

The Dog Blog

[puppies as big as me!]

Hi hi hi!  I'm Bean!  I'm a doggie!  I love everybody except when you try to take me away from my mommy or try to steal my food, and everything is my food! This week, we visited itty bitty doggies, like puppies I think, but they were almost as big as me!  Just darker, like black.  And they were cute.  

[Here's me, showing how big they are 'cuz they're almost as big as me.]

I wanted to play with them, sorta, but my mommy didn't let me.  That's okay.  There were bunches of them, and they were almost as big as me, so it may have been scary.  Bye, now. 

[Here's me in a car, looking up at my person.]

This is Dodger.  I'll write 'cuz Bean's done, and Ru isn't back. I got to ride to town just with my mommy.  She didn't even let Bean go in the car with us.  It was so great.  We picked up and dropped off some kids first, but then we went to the doggy-smelling place. I went somewhere with lots of dogs.  I didn't see or even hear any. I smelled them EVERYWHERE.  I wanted to stop and smell everywhere. It all smelled like dogs.  Some cats, too, but mostly dogs.  It was super exciting.  The person that smelled like dogs touched me in weird ways, mostly my belly and chest. Nothing hurt.  I wanted to mark corners, but Mommy didn't let me.  I think they called it a vet. 

Then, we went somewhere and saw real dogs.  I smelled a lot more than I saw.  They called it Petsmart, so I must be smart 'cuz I'm a pet.  I had a great time cuz for a long time, it was just me and Mommy.  She didn't even bring Bean.  Just me. It was great.  

[Chasing my tail]

Ruru the Cat here.  Wait, a second.  There's a blog here.  And it's not mine.  What did I miss?  I was just chasing my tail, but don't tell anyone I said that.  Dogs stealing my blog.  Again.  Gah.  This may as well be a dog blog.  Dang, that rhymed, which was almost worse than a dog stealing my blog.

Person Hairballs

[Me, watching and waiting for my person to be interesting again.]

Ruru the Cat here.  My person is being useless.  It was bad enough when she was giving too much attention to my kitten and not enough to me.  Now, she's giving no attention to any of us cats.  She's just lying on the sofa or bed or wherever and coughing up hairballs.  

[How it should be, with my person happily snuggling me.]

I don't think people call it hairballs.  I think they call it vomiting, but it sure looks like she's having hairballs.  She makes loud sounds, and out comes something nasty.  That's a hairball, right?  When she's not hairballing, she's lying there, crying or moaning or something.  She ignores me completely.  She tried to hold my kitten, but then moaned and let her go.  This hairballing is not good for people.  When she doesn't even have anything nasty to hairball up, she's still hairballing.  Even water. 

[Fine.  I'll find someone else to pet me.]

I would feel bad for her, but I'm too busy feeling bad for me.  I'm having to find other people to pet me.  Do you know how frustrating that is?  She's supposed to be my person with hands that pet me.  She's supposed to give me treats and lots of attention.  Instead, she just lies around, moans, and hairballs.  What good are people acting like that?  Just don't do it.  Be the hands your cats crave.  

Too much Competition

[Paige, that's my hand.  Give it back.]

 Ruru the Cat here.  So it's hard enough to get time with my person with my kitten going up all the time.  Just 'cuz I give my person attitude every time I have to share her does not mean I shouldn't have all of her time.  She was mine first.  Maybe I should be whiny for attention in the middle of the night.  Then, she'd give me more time.  Works for the kitten.  

[Doesn't he look comfy?  Well, that should have been my spot.]

But then, my person's mom, who has perfectly usable hands, was laying there like a slug all day yesterday, and everybody else claimed all the comfy spots.  I swear.  It's not fair that I have to share with cats.  It's worse yet that I have to share with dogs.  

[Fine.  I'll go fine someone else to cuddle.]

I'm pretty sure she was sick, but I figured I'd get full use of that hand to get myself petted. Be more sympathetic toward the sick, you say, Toothless?  I'm the one who suffers! It just wasn't fair that Maya took her shoulder, Toothless right in front of her, Bean the dog in that lovely, comfy spot where her legs bend, and there was nowhere left for me.  Doesn't everyone know I have a higher right because I'm not just A cat but THE cat, the most important cat?  What does it take to get some priority around here?