They Changed his Name?

[Take note of my throne--see?  I'm tolerating my brother.]

Me

 Ruru the Cat here.  I have grown to tolerate my brother since my kitten showed me it's okay to snuggle a cat, that not all other cats are evil.  I told you about that.  I sometimes even tolerate the other kitten in the house, Dude.  Not for long, and mostly it's just me showing mercy by letting him live.  You've seen what kind of crap he gives me.  I have most everyone now understanding I'm the queen of the house.  Maya doesn't, but she doesn't like any of us.  She especially hates me, but that's her problem.  Dude, however, still teases me.  

[My person showing worship for the wrong cat]

Him

But I let him live even so.  You should respect me, honor me, worship me for it.  Or at least he should.  This is why it bugs me that my person renamed him this week.  A cat tolerates a name.  A name is a word humans need.  We cats are just fine being.  We don't need your names.  I know Maya's smell.  I don't need to know what she's called to know I need to get out of her way, so she doesn't kill me.  Not kidding I don't like her for a reason.  

[Me reminding you who is in charge by ignoring you.]

My name

My name started out Ruth then became Ruru, and now, it's any number of things like Ruby or Ru or whatever.  But when I hear "Ru" whatever, I know the humans are talking to or about me.  I can listen but pretend to ignore them.  I know whatever they're saying is going to affect ME.  

[You'll note how he shows no respect for royalty (like me), but a name change?]

His Name

Dude's name is still also Mr. Meowmeow (talk about condescending) and also Quill.  But they decided his real name should be Mr. Casper Meowmeow because they say he does strange things like flood the house or flush the toilet in the middle of the night like some friendly Ghost named Casper.  Who has ever heard of that? That'd be confusing, getting your name changed on you when you're almost a year old.  I would hate that, almost as much as when he flooded my favorite spot under the sink.  Which I would never do except a few months ago. Worst of all, they shorten the name to Cass.  Like in the evil mean bully cat they got rid of a few months ago (hallelujah.)  Why would I want to be reminded of her?

[me, waiting for the proper level of worship]

The Point 

They'd better not change my name, or I'll have to leave them presents in the middle of the night.  A smell doesn't change.  Why would a name change?  Seriously, humans, what is your problem?  I know: you're not a cat.  Moral of the story: be a cat.  The world would be so much better if you were all cats.  Then again, you'd no longer have hands to pet me.  Okay, so maybe be LIKE a cat, but with hands.  That pet me, and only me.  'Cuz I'm the queen.