Whoohoo! Except...

[Goodbye, puppies.]

Ruru the Cat here.  Man, it's like these people can read my mind.  Or maybe my blog.  I wanted the puppies gone, and two of them disappeared like magic.  I'm still stuck with the other three, but they mostly leave me alone except when I try to steal their food out of their dish or make off with their bacon.  I guess there wouldn't be food or bacon given to them if they weren't here.  So I'll let them live.  I know, I know.  My kindness and bounty know no bounds. 

[Goodbye, kittens.]

And then, the kittens showed up, and I really wanted them gone.  I mean, the only thing worse than a puppy is a kitten.  Then, poof, they were gone.  Except the annoying little boy that whined his way into this house and then the smallest and fluffiest of the kittens.  I wondered if maybe she was so small they forgot to get rid of her, too.  I have hairballs bigger than that one.  And the real problem with her is that she seems to have adopted my person as her person, too.  That will never do.  I'm still wondering if I can find a way to get rid of her.  My person's number one commandment is thou shalt have no other cat.  And here's this little sneeze of a thing, taking up my spaces and drinking up my water.  We'll have to work on this last little problem.

[Goodbye, Sylvie.  Hallelujah!]

 
But the miracle didn't stop there, oh no.  I heard male voices outside, and my people dragged Sylvie out to meet whoever it was.  I thought I'd be able to get rid of that bully that very day, but apparently, she ran into the bushes.  They gave away Cass instead.  And Cass is the one I really didn't have any ego problems with.  A few days later, my people left with Sylvie, and she hasn't come back.  It sounds like Cass and Sylvie have left the party, too, leaving just me, that old lady Maya, and my brother, Toothless.  And the annoying little hairballs.  My house is finally peaceful.  Ish.  I just hope my people don't get any more bright ideas about who else needs to go.  If they look my way, I swear I'll hairball on 'em or bite them.  It's great that they got rid of all the annoyances in my house (okay, almost all), but they'd better not get uppity with me.  This is, after all, my house.  And I let them stay here.  Isn't that nice of me? 

Out of the Freaking Frying Pan

[Get thee hence, puppy.]

Ruru the Cat here.  Now onto this week's blog.  I was so excited when I heard the itty bitty puppy Cinnamon was going somewhere else forever.  Nothing made me happier.  I felt like I was floating.  I was getting rid of a baby!  Whoo!  Now, if only I could figure out how to talk them into getting rid of the rest of the dogs, I'd feel like the world was a beautiful place.  

[I'll take my puppy back now.]

Well, she's gone, but it's not the great news I thought it would be.  Just before she went away, my people showed up with four kittens.  KITTENS.  They make a mess and tear through the food that should be mine.  And they're EVERYWHERE.  They're a wild force of nature like a tornado or a hurricane but worse.  Worse than yetis or toddlers or even other cats.  And I thought two puppies and ONE kitten were bad.  Gah.  I would say my house is going to the dogs, but it's worse than that.  It's going to the BABIES.  Can I box these kittens up and get my puppy back?

Dodger and Bean's (and Snow and Cinnamon's) Great Adventure

[Does this look like a yellow rock to you?  Looks like a mess.]

Ruru the Cat here.  My people weren't around to let me on the computer when I wanted to post this last week.  Seriously.  Human slackers make us cats look bad.

[My person holding the wrong cat]

 I'm not sure why this would be interesting to anyone.  I mean, four dogs go on a trip to see that Yellowstone.  Big whoop.  My people won't take me, but they'll take the dogs.  And the dogs are willing to go.  I seriously don't know why my people drop everything every year (especially me) to look at a rock that is yellow.  Doesn't make any sense.  It can't be that good, or they'd show the beings worth taking, namely, the cats.  It was pretty awesome that I had a quiet house with not a single dog, but I wish they'd taken Mr. MeowMeow, that annoying kitten.  Bean just won't shut up until I let him tell you all about it.  

[Me ready for my exciting trip]

Bean here.  I'm a big boy puppy.  The trip was so AWESOME!  It wasn't some yellow rock.  It was a really cool place that had smells of every description.  I missed my buddy, Mr. MeowMeow, the funny looking puppy.  I'm not sure why we couldn't take him.  We got to hang out around a campfire.  I got to see big blasts of water go straight up into the air.  I smelled rotten eggs, which wasn't cool, but it was great to be around my people and to go for a long ride.  I smelled lots of animals and barked at anything that could endanger my person.  She let me ride her shoulder around everywhere, especially around the campfire where there was meat.  Yummy meat.  So cool. 

[This should be my spot, not hers.]

Only thing that would have been cooler is if my person took me in that doggy backpack instead of my baby sister.  Oh, speaking of my baby sister.  

[Everybody took turns with me.  It was great.]

I'm Cinnamon Bear.  I'm the little puppy.  My people took me to a big place with lots of smells and colors, like my great big brother said.  It was a little scary because I've never been out of my house before.  I saw lots of rocks, but I don't know colors very much.  I don't know if any of them was yellow.  All the little kids wanted to hold me and snuggle me.  I even got to play with their faces.  Like Bean said, they took me in their backpack all over the place.  I couldn't see out the window very well, but it looked like lots of water was dancing everywhere.  I missed my home, but I'm glad I got to go with my people. 

[Trips (and everything else) worry me]

I'm Snow, Bean's and Cinnamon's mom.  It was scary, all of it.  I was afraid my baby and my little boy would get lost or hurt.  The smells were strange, especially a bear that had been around the campsite.  Everything was strange.  One of the scariest parts was the water falling from the sky and hitting the tent.  I was so scared the whole time.  It didn't help that I just had some kind of surgery a little while before, so I wasn't feeling so good.  Someone said I was fixed, but I didn't feel broken.  I'm just glad we're home.  Never again.  

I'm Dodger, Snow's mate.  Wherever my person goes, I'm happy.  I was happy far away.  I'm happy now. 

[Okay, fine.  I'll let you live.]

Ru back, the only voice here worth listening to.  It all sounds like too much of a mess.  Backpacks?  Yellow stone?  Dancing water?  Nasty smells?  Cars?  Fires?  Rain?  The only thing that sounds good is the meat.  And they didn't even save any for me.  

Wind in my Face

[A sketch of the weird thing.  Source]

Ruru the Cat here.  So a weird thing showed up in my house a while ago, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.  I wish the humans around here would remember who's in charge and consult with me before they do crazy things.  Seriously.  I know it appears every summer, but they never do ask my opinion.  Not that I'd answer.  Humans are just not worth talking to.  Rebellious, every one of them. 

[Speak with management.  I am management.]

Anyway, so this weird thing is a big box made of plastic that rumbles and blows out air.  I like that it cools my house, so my fur coat doesn't feel so hot.  I like that it puts outside smells into my house.  But it makes so much noise.  Have you seen our ears?  They're BIG, so we can hear the tiny sounds of skittery mice.  That loud noise drives me nuts.  And I don't like when that wind blows directly into my face.  It dries me out and confuses me.  Seriously, people.  Remember who is in charge here and ASK THE CAT. 

Angel Flies away

[Good riddance, Angel.]

Ruru the Cat here.   So a thing happened.  A really good thing, actually.  One of my nemeses, the crazy puppy, Angel, went away.   I've been hoping for this for a while.  It's seriously calmed down her brother and made him (a little) less of a monster.  Good news all around.  Woohoo!  I guess Bean has a different take on all of this.  He's wrong, but you may want to hear it.

[My big sister was there, and now, she's gone]

My sister's gone.  I'm not sure where.  She was here and then she was gone.  Every time I saw her, it made me want to kill.  We had so much fun running back and forth across the house all the time.  She's just always been there.  

[Bean playing with the boring, new puppy]

It's great that my mommy gave me a little sister.  She's even started being a little fun.  And smelling like meat because they give her the food I want.  Cinnamon actually plays back a little.  She's not as fun as Angel, but she's cute.  Cute and kind of boring, but cute.  

[My new little brother]

`

It's awesome that they gave me a little brother who's a kitten.  Angel showed me how to play with him because I couldn't figure it out.  He plays differently.  Doesn't much matter what he is.  He'll play with me!  We chase each other like crazy across the house. It's so much fun to have a little brother.  So now, I have a little sister AND a little brother, and it's amazing.  I just have to remind him my food is mine and the shoulder I sit on all the time is mine and that the cat food is mine, but mostly, we get along great.  But I still wonder where Angel went.  Ru says there's an email for me.  Wanna hear it?  Maybe we can learn what happened together. 

[My new friend.]

Dear Bean, 

Please tell our people to come get me.  I think they must have forgotten.  I can't imagine they'd leave me here intentionally.  They love me, and I love them.  I miss you and them so much.  I'm so lonely because there's no four-legged friends to play with here.  

[The little humans love me.]

The little kids can't get enough of hauling me around and taking me for walks down scary stairs.  They love me, but they don't know how to play with me like you do. 

[I want them to be my friends.  They kind of look like me.]

There are cats like the kitten and Sylvie, but unlike my friends there, no one will play with me.  They'll touch noses with me.  I kissed one of them to tell them that there were no hard feelings, but I'm sad.  I have a woman who loves me and hugs me and carries me around and protects and feeds me.  There's a man here who loves me, too.  A lot of my toys are here, my blanket, some of my treats.  But there's no brother or kitten to play with, no Sylvie.  I'm trying to be happy, trying to keep up the hope that you guys are coming to get me.  I like it here well enough.  I just miss home.

Angel

Oh, wow!  She's visiting other people.  I wonder when she'll come back.  I can at least email her back and find out.  Ruru, how do I email? 

[All small humans, all the time.  Gah.]

Wouldn't you like to know, Bean?  That's a cat's secret.  Can't tell you or you might share with your demonic little "brother."  As if a cat could ever be a dog's brother.  Ruru back again.  So do you want to tell me or should I that this is forever, that this is her new home?  Off she went to that house with small children with small, grasping fingers, and foreign cats.  *Shudder.*  All toddlergeddon, all the time. Yeah, I almost feel bad for her.  Almost.  Better her than me.

A Little Shadow Monster Conquers My House

[Puppy invading my person.]

Ruru the Cat here.  Everything was fine, more or less.  Okay, so my people were leaving me (again, as usual) to go somewhere called Bear Lake.  Don't know why they'd want to hang out with bears or lakes, but whatever.  I figured it's a person thing.  And my person has been spending less time than usual with me because I've been frustrated with a lot of things going on, mostly puppies.  My person keeps hanging out with them, putting their smells all over MY room.  But this week, it showed me things could get worse.  Much, much worse.

[LOUD!]

My people went outside and heard that most terrifying of sounds, worse than anything I can imagine: the loud meow of a VERY loud kitten.  They had to catch it.  Which means they put EFFORT into dragging this loud monster into my house.  I think I've established that babies of every kind drive me insane.  Human babies chase me around and grab me and slap me and play in my dog food.  Dog babies EAT that dog food and make smells and a mess all over the place from chewing on everything then even invade YOUR PERSONAL SPACE.  But then, worst of all, there are kittens who do all of that and also invade YOU.  They want to attack your face, your feet,and worst of all, your beautiful, lovely, well-groomed tail. 

[Kill it, Bean.  Let one problem take care of another.  No, stop PLAYING with it!]

Kittens are loud, smelly, ill-kept because they don't know how to groom themselves properly, and above all, busy.  There isn't anything they won't touch and put all their smells all over.  I knew the second it had invaded my space because of those kitteny SMELLS.  EVERYWHERE!  All over the sofa, all over the exceptionally tolerant other cats who even let it steal their special spots on the sofa, all over the floor, and...you're not going to believe this...all over MY PERSON and MY ROOM with that person in it. 

[How do they tolerate it?  It bites me, and it's gone.]

It's just an insult.  I walk in my room, and those smells are everywhere.  It's like my person likes that beast or something.  I just don't know what to do.  Anybody have any extra space for a cat?  Better yet, an obnoxious, annoying, busybody kitten?  Gah.  I can't believe this has happened to me, and after all the mice I've killed for this family and all the beauty I've brought into the world.  I'm a positive martyr. 

My Spot

[My favorite spot.]

Ruru the Cat here.  I have a spot, and it's not yours.  You can't have it.  With all the people that wander through here and all the annoying dogs, especially the puppies, and the other cats, especially that evil Sylvie, I must have a place to hide.  It's the only way I get any peace.  It also provides comfy, cozy armor from the rest of the world.  My ideal spot is with my person.  But if I can't have that, I know where to go.  

[My second favorite spot.]

Yes, you guessed it.  It's the underwear drawer in the bathroom.  The only annoying thing is people will open my happy safe spot looking for underwear.  The boy keeps joking about trying me on.  I think not, human juvenile.  Human cooties are just nasty.  Whenever my person is, for some unimaginable and illogical reason, not worshiping at my altar, I hide in there.  Like I said, it's nice, cozy, puppy- and cat-free (except for me).  Just the way I like it.