A Little Shadow Monster Conquers My House

[Puppy invading my person.]

Ruru the Cat here.  Everything was fine, more or less.  Okay, so my people were leaving me (again, as usual) to go somewhere called Bear Lake.  Don't know why they'd want to hang out with bears or lakes, but whatever.  I figured it's a person thing.  And my person has been spending less time than usual with me because I've been frustrated with a lot of things going on, mostly puppies.  My person keeps hanging out with them, putting their smells all over MY room.  But this week, it showed me things could get worse.  Much, much worse.

[LOUD!]

My people went outside and heard that most terrifying of sounds, worse than anything I can imagine: the loud meow of a VERY loud kitten.  They had to catch it.  Which means they put EFFORT into dragging this loud monster into my house.  I think I've established that babies of every kind drive me insane.  Human babies chase me around and grab me and slap me and play in my dog food.  Dog babies EAT that dog food and make smells and a mess all over the place from chewing on everything then even invade YOUR PERSONAL SPACE.  But then, worst of all, there are kittens who do all of that and also invade YOU.  They want to attack your face, your feet,and worst of all, your beautiful, lovely, well-groomed tail. 

[Kill it, Bean.  Let one problem take care of another.  No, stop PLAYING with it!]

Kittens are loud, smelly, ill-kept because they don't know how to groom themselves properly, and above all, busy.  There isn't anything they won't touch and put all their smells all over.  I knew the second it had invaded my space because of those kitteny SMELLS.  EVERYWHERE!  All over the sofa, all over the exceptionally tolerant other cats who even let it steal their special spots on the sofa, all over the floor, and...you're not going to believe this...all over MY PERSON and MY ROOM with that person in it. 

[How do they tolerate it?  It bites me, and it's gone.]

It's just an insult.  I walk in my room, and those smells are everywhere.  It's like my person likes that beast or something.  I just don't know what to do.  Anybody have any extra space for a cat?  Better yet, an obnoxious, annoying, busybody kitten?  Gah.  I can't believe this has happened to me, and after all the mice I've killed for this family and all the beauty I've brought into the world.  I'm a positive martyr.