Guest Blogger: Toothless's Trauma

Ruru the Cat here.  I could fill your ear with the stuff I've been through this week.  But Toothless, my brother, insists he needs to take the blog this week.  Really?  What, so your little trauma of getting locked out and treated like a stranger is worse than what I've been through?  Fine.  Go ahead, Toothless.  Impress us.

Oh, come on, sister mine.  You've already whined about being left home while your person goes to school.  We've heard all about it.  It's my turn. And you promised.  

So check it.  I guess I'm pretty spoiled.  First thing in the morning, I charge into my person's arms and get snuggled.  All day, every day, as often as possible, I get snuggled.  I get food when I want [like everybody else, I steal it from the doggie dishes] and can beg for water whenever someone's near the sink and can start a drip for me to drink from.  I'm so well loved around here.  

Well, one day this week, I slipped out.  I was kind of confused, thinking I was just going into another room.  It smelled interesting, okay?  But then I figured out I was OUTSIDE the house.  I don't remember EVER going outside.  And it was SCARY.  There's this big, loud, black path out there with lots of big, mean monsters zooming by.  They looked ready to destroy me, leaving my little fuzzy, black body broken on the side of the road.  It was TERRIFYING.  So I started crying and crying to be let in.  But people would come out of the house, look around, and not find me.  Maybe because I was hiding, it was so scary.  I spent most of a day out there.  

Finally, my person came to rescue me.  And she thought I was a STRANGER.  Really?  You don't even know your own cat?  Okay, so I look like every other black cat out there, but we don't all SMELL the same.  What is wrong with people?  They locked me in a cage because they thought I was someone else.  Okay, so I wasn't acting like myself because I was still FREAKED OUT.  I was stuck in that cage for a whole NIGHT.  Then they stuck me in the bathroom for a few hours.  I guess they must have searched the house to make sure I was really me because they finally let me out that night, so I could dash right to where the food was and PROVE I was no stranger.  Man, what is wrong with humanity that they couldn't tell me, their beloved friend, from some other black cat?  Okay, here's Ruru back.  

Man, Toothless, you're such a whiner.  

Hey! Drama queen.   

Too late.  I got my blog back.  You see what I put up with around here?  My suffering is way worse than his.  Seriously.  

My plan

Ruru the Cat here.  I told you last week how upset I was that my person goes off EVERY DAY to this stupid place called school.  I'm pretty bitter.  Here's my clever plan to show her EXACTLY how unhappy I am with this whole idea of her going off and leaving me for HOURS and HOURS every single day.  If she tries to grab me, I run away.  If she holds me, I slip away.  It's called a protest.  I'm trying to show her exactly what a bad idea this school stuff is.  

I keep hoping this protest will work.  But she keeps going.  Every day, she goes away.  Except for a couple of days a week that is.  So far, my protest doesn't seem to be working.  She still does it.  I have to resort to letting everyone else hug me because I'm so addicted to being snuggled.  I just don't know what else to do to show my wonderful person that she can't do this to me.  I wonder what else I can do.  

She's Leaving Me!

Ruru the Cat here.  I had such a lovely summer.  I had my person here to love me and snuggle me every day.  She spent all day long patting me and holding me.  It was so nice.

Now, every day, she goes away in the morning and doesn't come back until hours and hours and hours later.  I keep hearing this nasty word "school."  I don't know what it is exactly, but I seem to remember bad things about it, like lots of kids patting me and no food anywhere and this long, awful car drive.  Terrible experience, this school stuff.  And it keeps stealing my person every day except for, like, two days at a time.  I don't get what that's about.  But I live for those days.  They're heaven.  My person is back on those days, spending all day long, holding me and snuggling me.  Curse you, school thing.  Give me my person back.

Box!

Ruru the Cat here.  The most awesome thing in the universe showed up in my house this week.  I don't know what it is exactly, but it's like a box but it's SOFT, so it's even better to sleep in.  We are constantly at war over the nifty thing.  Anytime anyone clears out of it, someone else gets in.  Even the stupid puppy, who is, by the way, too long and lanky to fit into it, takes a turn.  It's so cool.  Nowhere else in the universe [besides the arms of my person] feels quite so good.

Then I guess that stupid puppy decided it was hers.  Why?  I don't know.  Maybe because it smells like some other dog I've never met.  But she started gutting it like it was prey.  Little bits of fluff spread across the floor.  Seriously?  We all fell in love with this thing, and now you're chewing it up like it's some bone or treat?  I knew that dog was trouble.  And now, the people have disappeared the wonderful thing.  Just because the puppy made a mess with it.  Man, why ever did we get that puppy?

Again!

                                                             My person is so far away!

Ruru the Cat here.  My person left me for two days AGAIN.  Something about something called Bear Lake, and they all came back smelling like sand and water.  But really?  Does she not know what her leaving does to me?  It wasn't for as long, but still.  It's just not right.  People can be so thoughtless sometimes.

And worse yet, I keep hearing this nasty word "school."  My person and her brother don't seem so happy about that nasty word.  They keep saying the word "go."  I don't like that word.  I seem to remember a time a couple of months ago when my person disappeared ALL DAY every day and only showed up in the afternoon.  Why does my person have to keep going places?  It's a great house.  The whole house is full of warm fuzzies who like to cuddle.  Who needs anything else?

Another one!

Hi.  This is Ruru.  I'm a cat.  As if it's not bad enough that my person brought home a puppy, now, my person keeps coming in smelling of a new furry friend.  Seriously?  Am I not enough for her?  It doesn't smell like a dog or a chicken.  I know what those smell like.  It's definitely not a cat.  I've seen it out the window.  It's a weird thing.  It has the look of a siamese cat, tan with brown on the nose and paws.  The really weird thing about it is it doesn't have a proper tail, just a weird little ball or something where a tail goes.  And really long ears.  What is it?  They said something about "bunny," but I don't know for sure what that is.  It's cat sized, but it's NOT a cat.

My person doesn't bring it in here where I can look at it, or better yet, taste it.  I just don't quite understand why she needs all these furry things that aren't me.  Silly humans.  They don't make sense sometimes.

Abandoned!

Ruru the Cat here.  My person left me!  Granted, it was only for three days, but it felt like three MILLION!  It brought all my nightmares to life, nightmares of being left, abandoned and alone!  I mean, they talked about going somewhere called "Yellow Stone," whatever that is.  I'm not so clear on what yellow is, and we don't get a lot of stones around here on the inside.  But I know what those are.  I think we have lots and lots of yellow stones around here.  I don't know why she had to leave me for three days to find yellow rocks.  I should have smelled a rat [but not in a good, yummy way] when my person filled our food dishes to the brim.  At the time, I figured she was just being really nice and finally getting a clue about how things SHOULD be around here.  I mean, I always want to eat myself senseless, but they only feed me enough food to fill my tummy, never enough to overfill it.  What are they thinking?  But then they LEFT.  She left.

Those three days were MISERABLE.  I was stuck with only the other cats as my company.  Granted, I dig the other cats.  But they don't hold me and rub my belly and tell me how adorably fat I am.  They also don't rearrange my face and make me dance to music, so it wasn't all bad.  It was also good they took those stinking dogs with them.  But still.  How could she LEAVE like that?

We always tease Scoutie, my brother who has been cat sat here for several months, when he sits around, pining for his people.  They visit sometimes but not enough for him.  He's such a WHINER.  But it was his turn to tease me when I spent all three days missing my person.  Now, I get it.  Living without your person sucks.  Now, I have her back.  I just hope she never does that again.