Tug-of-Mouse

Ruru the Cat here.  So, a few days ago, I caught me a mouse.  It was plump and perfect.  It was so much fun to chase it around.  But then, Maya, one of the Halloween-type cats here, decided she wanted it.  We spent an hour stealing it from each other.  She'd settle in to play with it, let it go, and then I'd steal it back.  I was really frustrated for a while then decided it was actually kind of fun.  I'm not sure who got it in the end; I just know it wasn't me.  I think one of the other cats stole it from her.  

Then, fast forward a few days, and she caught another chunky little mouse.  I figured if she could steal mine, I could steal hers.  So we spent another hour or so switching back and forth.  She didn't seem to like the game very much and was most insistent it was hers, not mine.  Once again, I can't be sure who got it in the end.  But, seriously, if you don't like me stealing your mouse, leave mine alone.  'Cuz all's fair in love and mouse wars.  

Toddlerpocalypse: The Toddlers Strike Again

Ruru the Cat here.  So, remember how these people and their baby and toddler and big, huge mountain with fur and teeth used to come here all the time?  THEY'RE BACK.  Not kidding.  I hate to scare you, but if it happens to me, it could happen to you. 

And here's what's worse than the one toddler and their monster dog: the baby who used to sit still and behave has morphed into another toddler!  Two toddlers have taken over my house!  With two of these monsters and their monster dog, all six of us cats have laid low all weekend.  I mean, the dog mostly lays around, though he sometimes rumbles through the house.  The really truly scary thing is the double toddler trouble because they're just the right size to chase us around everywhere. 

And they don't hold STILL.  At all.  Ever.  They're constantly pounding around, making noise, spilling stuff (not such a bad thing if they spill the RIGHT stuff), hauling everything around... Whose bright idea was it to bring such odd pets into our house?  I want them to go AWAY.  Like FAR away.  'cuz there's nothing in this whole world scarier than a toddler except TWO toddlers. 

I Wanna Be Naked

                                                 

                                                      [Humans and their nutty costumes]

This is Ruru the Cat.  My person did it again.  And her mom, who usually rescues me, didn't do anything to help.  They got it in their head that I wanted to dress up just because that craziness called Halloween is coming up.  I DON'T want to dress up.  EVER.  Humans seem all excited about putting clothes on their body, especially weird ones this time of year.  My person is excited about dressing like me.  News flash: I'm a cat.  Cats like to be naked.  We already have fur coats.  We don't need an extra one. 

                                                         [Puppies make good furniture.]

My person has done this to me before.  But this time, I had a fellow victim.  While my person was giggling and putting that nastiness called clothing on me, her mom was putting clothing on my new shadow, that annoying puppy.  I don't mind that puppy so much anymore.  He makes a nice butt warmer when I want to sit on him.  And he doesn't seem to mind that much when I do.  If he growls, I don't have to take him seriously.  We more or less get along. 

But that day, we were fellow victims of human monstrosity together.  They thought it was hilarious to put us in this:

And this dreadful thing again.  Gag:

And what's this thing supposed to be? 

Really? 

People are twisted.  That's all I can say.  See, this is proof positive people just don't understand animals at all.  We like to run around without human stuff on us.  For the sake of animals everywhere, just stop.  Naked is good. 

Stranger in a Strange Room

 [This pink, weird room may as well belong to someone else, like this strange cat here, who doesn't seem to mind pink.]  

Ruru the Cat here.  So I liked my person's room just fine the way it was.  I was used to all the smells and the walls and the furniture and the floor just the way they were.  I'd shredded them all with my claws.  I had a place to hide under the bed.  The walls had dangly bits of wallpaper I could swat at.  It all smelled like me.  Everything was perfect. 

Then, my people started doing those weird things I talked about, where they rearranged everything then cleared out the entire room.  I mean, there was NOTHING left to smell like me.  It all smelled empty and cold.  Oh, and of old mice long dead and not fun anymore.  It was very boring. 

Then, they started covering the walls with wood that did not smell of me and then slapping on paint that smelled strong and funny.  And was PINK of all things.  Not that cats care much about color, but say what?  How can I take my person's room when it's not some predatory red or awesome black.  The mice won't take me seriously when I live in a pink room.  I couldn't even smell that echo of old mice anymore.  It was all suddenly painty and yucky. 

So then they started doing this outrageous thing by putting new carpet in.  That even more blocked out the pleasant mousy smells and, even worse, the me smells that were here before.  It all smelled like Something Else.  I mean, just anybody could come along and mark it, then it would smell like them, not me.  Oh, and it's so hard to jump all the way onto the higher, bigger bed to reach my person.  It's all very inconvenient. 

It will take so much work to turn this room into mine again.   Why do people have to come along and mess up such a good thing we had going here?  It's just not fair. 

Scoutie's a Whiner

Ruru the Cat here.  I know I'm always talking about Scoutie as a whiner, but this time, I'm not kidding.  I know he's my brother.  I couldn't love him any more if he were a succulent mouse giving chase (speaking of which, I got one this week, and it was delicious.)  But seriously?  He's spent ALL WEEK LONG inside, outside, inside, outside, whining as if he were a lost soul, absolutely not sure what to do with himself.  Come on, bro, act like a cat.  Just 'cuz your people left you doesn't mean it's the end of the world.  Okay, fine.  Here's the keyboard.  People out there, prepare for serious whining.  

Fine, tease me, Ru.  You just don't get it.  Even when your people are gone, you know they're coming back any time.  And they will.  Well, about two weeks ago, my people just up and left me here with Ruru's people.  They LEFT ME.  They were here almost all the time then they weren't.  They even cleared out their house.  I found it comforting that my people's dog was here for a while, but then, they took her, too.  Yes, they come back on occasion, but I just don't know what to think.  This is not supposed to happen to me.  

When I sit outside, all I can think of is how my people aren't here to appreciate my efforts to teach them how to be mousers.  I leave my dead mice around, but they aren't around to ooh and aahh at my mousing prowess.  And it's cold and wet.  My people always let me in when it was cold and wet.  

But then I go inside Ruru's people's house, and there are all these crazy animals with all their weird smells.  My people just aren't anywhere to be found.  I just feel so lost, so alone.  I howl when I'm inside because I want out to find my people.  I get out, and I'm so lonely without my people.  You just don't get it, Ru.  I suffer.  

See?  What did I tell you?  Scoutie's such a drama queen.  Such a baby kitten.  

Weird Happenings

Ruru the Cat here.  Weird things are going on this week.  I can't quite figure them out.  For one thing, that great, big white dog showed up in our backyard.  That's way too close for a big, big dog.  She could actually touch me or sniff me or something, all of which would be totally unacceptable.  I'm in charge here, so you'd think someone would tell me.  I heard that she broke her chain and went running down the road, but this doesn't seem like a bad thing.  She could leave, and then I wouldn't have a big white dog in my backyard.  

Then there's the fact that this cat I sort of remember as my brother keeps showing up in the house.  Five cats are too many already in my space.  I don't want a sixth showing up, eating my food and growling at me.  I think I remember liking him, but now he's just so grouchy all the time.  He goes out sometimes.  Not sure why he doesn't stay there.  He shows up the most when it's raining.  He whines when he gets wet then whines about all the funky smells around here.  If you ask me, he's the funky one.  Brothers are funky by nature.  

Then there's the worst thing of all. MY room, the one in which I hang out with my person all the time, has been cleared of EVERYTHING.  There's nothing soft to snuggle on.  All the furniture and everything has been removed.  I keep hearing something about new paint and carpet, but I'm not sure what it all means.  Then, all these big wooden objects showed up.  Not sure what they are, though they're great to sit on.  Some of them even have shelves, so several of us cats can perch on them at the same time.  Now, the best part of this is the big, interesting-smelling mattressy thing leaning against the wall.  We cats love this thing.  We can scale it and climb all over it and sit where dogs can't reach us.  It's awesome.  I just wish I knew what all of this meant.  

Puppies Are a Pain

(Just the cat with her person.  The right number on one lap.)

Ruru the Cat here.  My people are nuts.  They have all these wonderful, perfect cats around but still think they need dogs.  What are they thinking?  I told you last week about this new puppy, the pomchi, Twix.  He's about my size.  How am I supposed to take him seriously?  Besides, he's just too pretty.  And not very bright.  I was hoping he was just coming for a visit.  Turns out he's my person's new shadow.  I'm my person's shadow.  She did not, does not, never WILL need a dog to worship her.  She has a CAT she's supposed to worship.  Seriously, people.  Dogs are such a waste of space.  They don't catch mice.  They don't snuggle as well as cats.  They don't use litter boxes.  They're just not CATS.

                                                    (An overpopulated lap: too many dogs)

What?  No.  Really, Dodger, I do not want to hand my blog over to a dog.  Dogs leave dog slobber, dog fur, dog cooties.  No, Dodger, Twix does not need to borrow my keyboard.  Oh, that's just rude.  You will not lick me.  Get out of my face!  Fine.  I'll let stupid Twix take my stupid keyboard.  What did I tell you?  DOGS.

                                 (Cats are scary--see Ruru's demon eyes?)

Hi.  I'm Twix.  Are you sure it's okay, Dodger?  Ruru won't hurt me if I use her keyboard?  I came from a place where I was hurt a lot.  I mean, a lot.  I had to be rescued from a hot car, where they left me for a long, long time until I almost died.  It was scary.  And my people, my master and her boyfriend, hurt me and scared me a lot.  I loved them, but it was hard.  I'm only 10 months old.  I have too many scary memories.  I don't like to be hurt.  

Another lady had to rescue me from that hot car and took really good care of me.  I hoped she would be my master, but it turns out she decided she had too many dogs in too little space and not enough time for me, so she wanted a better place to put me.  Isn't she sweet?  

(Me being happy.)

I'm happy here at my new home except when anybody but my new master tries to touch me or comes into my master's room.  All of that is scary to me because I never know if they're going to hurt me like my old masters.  Oh, and I'm scared of cats.  Kind of, anyway.  Especially Ruru, who seems to see my new master as her person and only her person.  Ruru hisses at me sometimes.  

I like to sit in peace and quiet for hours at a time and just bask in the glow of my new master.  She is so wonderful to me.  She pets me and carries me around like a baby and pets me and snuggles me and lets me snuggle her.  She's so great.  I'm getting used to the other people around here.  There's my master and my master's mom.  I like my master's mom because she pets me and feeds me and gives me water and treats and takes me for walks. There's my master's brother.  He's okay because he's small.  I've figured out small people are good.  Big people can be bad.  The one I still find scary is my master's daddy.  He's only been nice to me, but I know big people are scary.  And he's big.  I'm just sure he's going to try to eat me or something.  So I run away whenever he's near.  But I know my master will protect me 'cuz she's way awesome.  Nobody could be awesomer.  Did I tell you she's awesome?  Okay, Ruru, you can have your keyboard back.  But first, stop hissing.  Please?  

                      (This saintly cat tolerating human crap)

Hey, Ruru again.  I can definitely agree that MY person is wonderful.  Wow, that Twix is a wuss.  He seems to be scared of his own shadow.  Scared of cats?  How can you be scared of cats?  Cats are wonderful.  Cats are the center of the universe.  Especially me.  I mean it.  Just "bask" in my glow.  I dare you.