Things I Won't Kill

[That cyclops cat.]

Ruru the Cat here.  So, I'm nice.  Toothless, quit laughing.  I'm super nice.  How can you tell?  Well, it's because I've decided to let Phoenix the one-eyed kitten live.  She's taken my spot in my person's room. But I'm living her live, anyway. Why? 'Cuz I love my person.  My person, lacking my wisdom, doesn't find her useless.  So I've decided to let her live.  Be impressed with my mercy and kindness.  Now, no guarantees on Wren.  He tries to take a nap, and she turns face hugger and shows she's strong enough to beat the tar out of him.  She doesn't seem to know she's maybe a third his size.  She just won't let up.  I kind of like that sassiness and determination. Shows a lot more energy than I have.  So, yeah, I'm letting her live.  

[Me, tolerating the other tabby.]

I guess I might also let Wren live.  That doesn't mean I like him or even want to hang out with him.  But it's fun to watch him flip out every time someone pets him for more than three seconds, which makes everyone try harder.  It's fun to watch humans chase him down and "zip" his tail, meaning pet that tail in one fast motion like humans zip zippers.  Everybody keeps talking about how long and fluffy his tail is.  My tail is way better  I chase it around all the time as I cat tree.  Don't know what the fascination is.  But it's fun to watch.  And he doesn't mess with me because I glare at him whenever he thinks about it.  Yeah, I'll let him live, too.  

[The wired, undersized hairball they call a "dog."]

I also have decided to let the little, annoying dog Bean live. I've been back and forth on that one. He does give me body heat when we happen to be chilling in the same place at the same time, waiting for attention. But he never holds still except to sleep.  I think one of these humans stuffed him with what humans call caffeine.  He's always darting around and eating all the food that sits around long enough for him to catch it, including cat food if he can get it.  He's still smaller than me and acts like a puppy. I could kick his tail anytime I wanted.  Both he and the kitten want the mom human's shoulder.  I'm surprised they haven't started fighting for it.  So, at least for now, I've decided to let him live because I'm nice like that.  I'd love to see a knock-down, drag-out battle between the tiny one-eyed kitten and the crazy puppy.  So, yeah, I've decided to let him live.  For now.  

Just want everyone to notice how awesome I am. I'm letting my greatest annoyances live.  Be impressed, very impressed.