Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Déjà Mew

[3 little kittens lost their right to be in my house.]

Again? This is Ruru the Cat, and I'm seriously thinking of moving.  My people must hate me.  Not kidding.  I was sure after my person brought home not one but FIVE kittens earlier this summer (one all by himself and then four calicos in a set), she had learned her lesson.  Five.  In my house.  MY house.  And the humans smartened up and got rid of three of them.  But two of them are still here, eating my dog food that I steal fair and square and sleeping in my cat tree.  

[Don't mess with my babies.]

Granted, they're now MY kittens.  I've claimed them.  I play with them, clean them sometimes, and even let them borrow my food.  I like them because they know I'm awesome.  And because of them, our people got rid of some obnoxious cats that were the bane to my existence.  

[The new beasts.  Even Paige can't stand them.]

But now, my people have gone too far, much much too far.  They brought home three MORE kittens.  And no one even asked me!  They smell and look kind of like the first set, like they came from the same place.  It wasn't here.  I promise that because other than my youngest kitten, Paige, we've all been "fixed," which I think means broken.  I don't get it except I hear it means we don't produce kittens.  Not sure why anyone would want to produce little crazy monsters like that who seem to see my lovely tail as a fair target, almost like a mouse.  Go kill a mouse and leave my tail alone.  Except then, they'd be preying on my mice as well as eating the food I could be eating.  

[Kittens: who needs 'em?]

I just don't get what humans see in baby anything, particularly baby kittens.  The very word sends chills down my spine.  The only thing that makes them redeemable is they grow up to be cats.  Then again, I don't like cats, either.  Except my babies.  As long as they don't get in my face or eat my food.  Humans need to learn this is my house, my rules.  And rule number one is no more kittens.  

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