Mr. MeowMeow Triumphant

 

[The things floating near the ceiling.]

Ruru the Cat here.  Last week's blog depressed me so much I forgot to post it.  This is this week's blog.  Once again, there was a loss, but it actually made me laugh.  All week long, silly Mr. MeowMeow has been eyeing this silver thing that floats near the ceiling.  I think they call it a balloon.  I've only ever seen one a couple of times.  

[He's stalking the balloon but not letting me play]

He kept playing with the string attached, even eating pieces.  He'd let Paige play with it a little, he wouldn't let anybody else touch it.  He wanted to be the one to kill it.  It didn't interest me much, but it made me laugh watching him stalk it because it was all the way up there.  Cats like high up places, but this was ridiculous.  

[Not long before he got it.]

Well, all week, he'd try to get it closer.  He'd climb up higher to get closer to it.  Finally, he got it, and it made this loud pop and then a whooshing sound.  He about jumped out of his skin.  He ran for the hills.  It was hilarious.  I've rarely seen anything that funny.  

[Prey in front of predator.  Not a mouse.]

Then, he and Paige came out and started patting at it to make sure it wouldn't pop anymore.  I was curious, too, but not curious enough to start a fight.  they spent the rest of the day playing with it like it was some kind of dead mouse.  Of course, it wasn't really a dead mouse, or I would have stolen it and killed it some more.  As it was, he looked so triumphant.  I'll have to tell him later he didn't kill anything.  It was never alive.  Silly non-mouser.  One of these days, I'll have to teach him how to really hunt.  But not today.  Today, I'm taking a nap.  

My Little Friend

[Ru and me!]  

Bean: Hi.  I'm Bean the boy puppy.  Ruru said I could write her blog this week.   I like Ruru.  She will sometimes even sit by me or share my dog food with me.  She wants me to talk about this.  I'm not sure why.  She keeps saying she hates kittens.  But I keep seeing her be nice to Paige and Mr. MeowMeow, and she hasn't even killed the little ones, even though she calls them rats.  

 

[A kitten and me]

Not sure why.  I like those kittens.  They'll snuggle me and play with me.  Kittens make me happy except when they try to find food on me.  I'm not sure where I'd be hiding any food.  

Ru: They think you're the mama cat who can give them milk.  

Bean: Milk?  Ruru, I don't even have any milk.  Where would I put milk?  I like milk,  It's yummy.  Can you get me some milk? 

Ru: Never mind.  Tell them about the thing that happened.  

[Batman when we first got him]

Bean: Well, that little kitten, Batman, stopped moving around very much.  He stopped eating and started stumbling all over when he tried to move at all.  The people around here said when they took him somewhere that he fell in his water and couldn't push out.  My person mommy had to save him.  I didn't get what was going on.  

Ru: And that's a surprise how?  

[Snuggling him didn't fix it.  I don't get it. Snuggling fixes everything.]

Bean: Huh?  Anyway, so then, our people came back looking sad.  They said words like "vet" and "Feline Parvo," but it didn't make any sense to me.  I just saw that poor kitten who snuggled and played with me and shared his food with me got weaker and weaker and sicker and sicker until he stopped moving.  All in one day. 

[Getting him wet didn't break him, did it?]

He was fine one day, playing with my tail and my feet and looking for food, and then, he stopped moving and was all floppy.  My person mommy started crying and crying, but I don't know why.  Did he go to sleep, Ruru?  They took him out and didn't bring him back. 

Ru: No, little Bean, he's not asleep, and he's not coming back.  He died.  

Bean: What does that mean?  

Ru: Ask your person mommy, silly dog.    

[Ru looks sad here I think, but it's hard to tell.]

Bean: Ruru, you look sad.  I thought you didn't like kittens. It makes me sad to think my little buddy, Batman, might not come back.  Are you sure he's not coming back?  Ruru?  She walked away.  Well, that's the sad thing that happened this week.  

Déjà Mew

[3 little kittens lost their right to be in my house.]

Again? This is Ruru the Cat, and I'm seriously thinking of moving.  My people must hate me.  Not kidding.  I was sure after my person brought home not one but FIVE kittens earlier this summer (one all by himself and then four calicos in a set), she had learned her lesson.  Five.  In my house.  MY house.  And the humans smartened up and got rid of three of them.  But two of them are still here, eating my dog food that I steal fair and square and sleeping in my cat tree.  

[Don't mess with my babies.]

Granted, they're now MY kittens.  I've claimed them.  I play with them, clean them sometimes, and even let them borrow my food.  I like them because they know I'm awesome.  And because of them, our people got rid of some obnoxious cats that were the bane to my existence.  

[The new beasts.  Even Paige can't stand them.]

But now, my people have gone too far, much much too far.  They brought home three MORE kittens.  And no one even asked me!  They smell and look kind of like the first set, like they came from the same place.  It wasn't here.  I promise that because other than my youngest kitten, Paige, we've all been "fixed," which I think means broken.  I don't get it except I hear it means we don't produce kittens.  Not sure why anyone would want to produce little crazy monsters like that who seem to see my lovely tail as a fair target, almost like a mouse.  Go kill a mouse and leave my tail alone.  Except then, they'd be preying on my mice as well as eating the food I could be eating.  

[Kittens: who needs 'em?]

I just don't get what humans see in baby anything, particularly baby kittens.  The very word sends chills down my spine.  The only thing that makes them redeemable is they grow up to be cats.  Then again, I don't like cats, either.  Except my babies.  As long as they don't get in my face or eat my food.  Humans need to learn this is my house, my rules.  And rule number one is no more kittens.  

Mad House!

 

[I'll watch your silly human antics from the lovely spot I stole fair and square from the kittens.]

Ruru the Cat here.  Not kidding.  It was a crazy place today.  I didn't think much of it when some oldish human showed up yesterday.  Those pretty much leave us alone.  Bean went nuts barking at him when he so much as moved, but I saw nothing wrong with him.  Life went on as usual.  

[Okay, now I've moved to the basement, so I don't have to deal with crap like getting put in a hat like poor Bean here.]

But then, the small humans started arriving, then more old people, middle-agey type humans, and their little offspring until my whole house was filled with chaos.  We cats all had to hide in the basement and hope they'd all disappear.  

[Mr. MeowMeow, next time, when the rest of us run, you'd better run or you'll be held like this.]

Poor Mr. MeowMeow (still the dumbest name in the house) didn't run fast enough.  He got grabbed and passed around.  Bean got locked out because he wouldn't stop barking at the human types of all sizes.  But we cats couldn't so much as peer out without getting grabbed.  It was TERRIFYING.  

[Poor Dodgy buried in birthday wrap.  See?  I'm pretending to care what happens to the dogs.  Be impressed with my compassion.]

Even mellow Dodgy got surrounded and buried in stuff.  Humans are scary in large herds, especially when they bring their offspring.  Next time, I think I'll move to the moon.  I've heard it's safe from little kids.  For now, anyway. 

Water Water Everywhere

[Me and my kitten]

Ruru the Cat here.  So since I finally have a houseful of cats who like me (okay,  Toothless, all cats except Maya.  But no one pays attention to her, anyway), I thought I could get everyone's opinion on how to properly drink water.  I figured if I do this, I can actually get the right opinion.  Now, I remind everyone here to give me your full and honest opinion, as long as it's the right one.  What kind of water drinking is best?  

[my silly brother in the sink]

Toothless:  Water dripping out of the tap is the only way to drink water.  Except when I can steal from my person's water cup.  But mostly, it's all about sitting in the sink and waiting for the humans to get a clue.  I don't care if I get wet as long as I get my water.  Water sitting there in a bowl?  Not for me.  

Me:  Seriously?  Are you really my brother?  Nope, that's not right.  Cats DON'T get wet. 

Maya:  I don't care.  I'll take whatever water I can get.  If it's water in a dish, I'll take it.  

Me:  Not even.  What is wrong with you?  Right.  You don't like me.  Shows a total lack of taste.  

[My icky little boy kitty sticking out of the toilet.]

Mr. MeowMeow:  It's all about that toilet water.  I'll take other kinds of water, but the toilet water is constantly refreshed and has interesting flavors.  

Ruru:  Just ew.  What are you?  A dog?  I thought I liked you.  I'm going to go lick myself now.  

[My kitten sticking out of the cats' water dish, but she'll take the dogs' as easily.]

Paige:  i like the dog dishes.  they're clean and easy to reach.  i like the dogs.  they're my friends.  they let me drink most of the time.  sometimes, they bark at me and chase me away.  mostly, it works.  if not, i'll take the cats' water.  

Me:  Whoa, playing with fire, little one.  One of these days, you'll figure out how to capitalize.  And that you can do better than dog water.  And better still than cats' water that's been just sitting around.  

[Me, seeking the dregs of person soup.]

Man, I was sure my little proteges or my brother or somebody would have this figured out.  No, the best kind of water is in the bathtub, a warm bathtub with a person inside.  It's called person soup.  There's nothing better than that warm, yummy water.  

Paige:  that sounds yucky.  

Ruru:  Hush, child.  You'll understand when you're older.  

Maya:  I'm much older, and I still don't get it.  

Ruru:  Much MUCH older  I guess you can get old without getting it.  People soup.  Try it.