A cat's holiday season

 

[Casper the Friendly Poltergeist, AKA Dude, stealing my tree.]

Ruru the Cat here. Just haven't felt like blogging recently. All the other cats have stolen any holiday fun this year. Dude hopped in the tub the tree came out of to make sure it was all his from the first minute. I didn't even have the chance to sniff the box. 

[MY tree.]

Since then, he made it clear my favorite green jungle gy]m (also called the Christmas tree) is all his. He's the one that gets to attack the dangly sparklies until one after the other hits the floor, some of them shattering on impact. That should be MY job. But he's twice my size. 

[This wrap should be mine--source]

I hide in my room, so everybody else gets to feast on the food. I try to come out and get chased off. One-eyed-wonder, Phoenix, gets to the wrap before I can, shredding everything and attacking the empty roll. 

[What I should be doing with my holiday--killing stuff. Source.]

I didn't even get to knock the lights and the glowing Christmas cat decoration out of the window. I'm not sure who did that, but it wasn't me. 

[My Christmas--note nothing to kill. Sadly.]

It's just not fair. I didn't get to destroy ANY Christmas stuff this year. I guess I'll go pout in my people's room and leave them a hairball and a dead mouse. At least I can get in on Christmas giving. 

Selfish with My Turkey

 

[MY Turkey. Source]

Ruru the Cat here.  I swear people around here don't seem to get that I'm the center of the world. They had something around here called "Thanksgiving." I sat in the kitchen, specifically ordering some of that turkey meat, and my person's mom gave me only two or three little bits, ALMOST nothing. Honestly. She gave nearly as much to all the other fluffies staring at her and begging, their dorsal tails sticking out of the water. As if they deserve as much as me. 

[MY Whipped Topping: source]

Then, my person's dad had pie with a big pile of whipped, fluffy white stuff. CREAM. And he kept most of it to himself. And when he tried to give me a small taste, he kept missing, and it would drop to the ground. Others would get it. I'm not that small a cat. You should be able to find my mouth with your food pretty easily.  

[MY Rolls: source]

I had to STEAL the rolls from the table because they didn't offer them to me. Well, I bit through the bag and ate some of them while Varya was helping herself to the bread on the counter. But that was MY bread. The dogs got the empty plates because my people didn't save them all for me. What is wrong with my people?  Where's the proper worship? Seriously. 

Happy Birthday to the Wolf Weasel

[Happy Wolf Weasel]

Ruru the Cat here. Sadly, my people decided my birthday wasn't the only one my people celebrate. Varya, our local "wolf weasel" (as my people call the only cat around here smaller than me), got a birthday party, too.  They showered her with catnip mice. Why didn't they do that with me?  They just gave me catnip. She rubbed them all over her face like some crazed maniac. Instead of letting me play with them, so I could do the same. 

[This game confuses me.]

I did get to participate in one of the party games, but I didn't get it. They put one of us at a time in the bathtub. I like the bathtub, but only when I sit on the edge and wait to drink some person soup (the bathwater people are soaking in.) But it was wet and slimy and uncomfortable, so I just wanted to leave. 

[Master hunters seeking and destroying crickets.]

Meanwhile, Dude knew just how to dismember and swallow the crickets they put there. Varya grabbed one, jumped out of the tub, and moused it. She chased it around until it died a pathetic death then ate it. It was actually pretty funny.  But then again, she's a bug hunter, anyway. She'll leap into the air and catch a fly out of the air. That wolf weasel is nuts. 

So I don't get the point of celebrating any cats that aren't me. But I guess humans do weird things sometimes. Like days ending in Y. 

Spot Wars

 

[The new queen of MY room, Paige, in my spot, looming over my person.]

Ruru the Cat here.  I understand there are constant spot wars going on behind my person's closed doors. The cats who stole my whole room now fight over the preferred spots in there. I heard the desirable spots are the little pathetic cat tree (also called "the nest"), the shelf, the bed (especially the fuzzy blanket), and the chair. Nobody wants to share unless they're in a warm, fuzzy mood. 

[That beast in the nest, guarding the door, so I can't come in.]

But let's get serious. We cats, in the middle of a turf war, are rarely in a warm, fuzzy mood. Mostly, they just glare at each other, but they'll also come to blows and fight. Wish I could be there to see it, but they all took MY SPOT in moving in there. Going in there freaks me out because it no longer smells like me. 

[Happy former kittens, chilling in my spot, on my bed.]

The most desirable spot is looming over our person, so she'll pet everyone BUT ME. The biggest of them all is Paige, so everyone else tends to defer to her. She'll wag her tail and rub her face on everything with excitement every time MY PERSON touches her. As if she has more right to it than I do. Second most desirable is snuggling my person's mom because she has hands and knows what to do with them. That used to be MY SPOT. 

[How it should be--me getting all the attention.]

I never once got to sit in the nest, and the shelves are all new since I got booted when the kittens started showing up there. Because I HATE kittens.  They always take my spot. This time, they took my spot in a big way. Does no one get that I'm the queen of the world?  At least I found a new room to claim. Now, if only the humans would recognize it as mine and find somewhere else to go.  

Deworming is Amazing!

[Me, chilling where it's safe with no cats.]

Ruru the Cat here.  It's been a while.  I've just been hiding out in the room, ignoring everyone.  It's usually better that way. Less dangerous because everyone's out to get me, even the kitten now. Blogging gets hard when I have to deal with everyone driving me nuts.

[Me, waiting for my dewormer.]

But out of the blue, I started to smell a fabulous odor, soft, meaty cat food.  I knew everyone was getting it but me.  I heard them, all getting that yummy food.  I heard someone say something about deworming.  It didn't sound like fun.  Anytime someone says something that sounds like medicine, I start to think pain and vets. I wasn't sure whether to be envious or not.  

[Ah, yeah. That's the stuff.]

Then, my person's mom came in with my dish of that soft, meaty cat food. Oh, it was good. There was kind of a weird taste to it.  I wonder if that was the dewormer.  But it didn't matter.  I'd die for that yummy cat food. Okay, maybe not. But I sure would kill for it. Cuz I'm a cat. We kill to eat. Dang, that's good. 

The Enemy!

 

[Stranger in the forbidden room.]

Ruru the Cat here.  I smell the enemy, especially when I pass the forbidden door by my people's room.  We animals are not allowed in there.  Sometimes, Phoenix the One-Eyed Wonder will sneak in there just by her persistence with doors. She sits in front of doors, whether she wants to go in or not. Front doors, back doors, doesn't matter.  Something's not right with that cat. She's wired funny.  Even the people have caught on.  So I know a cat can get in there, but they usually keep it closed. Probably because anytime it's open, the dumb dogs go in there and pee on the floor. Nasty beasties. 

[The enemy eating MY food.]

Anyway, a new resident took up the space there.  I hear it's because our neighbors with the yetis and that annoying little spotted mutt that sometimes came here moved away. The enemy cat smells like them. And evil cat. By evil, I mean anyone that's not me, especially strangers.  I run by that room fast. I haven't seen him yet, but I have heard him. He's LOUD and NEEDY.  He sits around, demanding humans come in and pet him ALL THE TIME. I can't imagine why they brought the enemy in past their front door. Cats are like vampires, I think. They can only get in if you let them in.  

[All anyone needs in a cat: ME]

Don't we have enough and too many non-me cats? Like I said, once you have an amazing cat like me, you don't need anyone else.  You can just pet me.  All the time.  I can't believe they'd let a needy cat like the enemy into MY house.  Without even asking me.  Seriously. One day, someone will realize I'm the queen of the world.  In the meantime, I'm stuck hearing the enemy whine.  

Bean's Field Trip

 

[My mommy and me on a trip]

Hi!  I'm Bean!  They also call me Mr. Bean and Beanie Boo. I don't know why. But Ru hasn't felt like blogging. She's been stuck in my mommy's room all the time and has gotten grumpy. That's okay.  I can tell you all about the time they took me on a fun trip!  I got to ride my mommy's shoulder and everything in the car. It was great.

[The only place I want to be: with my mommy.]

She even took me out to introduce me to a whole crowd of people. "Family Reunion," they called it. Don't know what that means. I didn't see anyone I think of as family except my people. But some people were really nice to me.  They were strangers, but I really like strangers. They petted me and talked to me and thought I was cute and liked that I ride my mommy around on her shoulders. I don't know what a family reunion is, but I liked it. I also got free food. 

[Don't make me angry. I'll whine at you when I'm angry.]

Then, we drove back. Everything was great and wonderful until my mommy went into a place that smelled like food WITHOUT ME. She left me with the man I usually like EXCEPT when he takes me away from my MOMMY. Oh, I freaked out. I screamed. I knew my person wouldn't willingly leave me like that. It felt like FOREVER that she was past the door and SO far away. But then she came back, and my smile came back. I sat on her shoulder, determined she would never leave me again. Still an awesome trip. My mommy just shouldn't leave me.  

Ru: Thanks for reminding me why I'm glad I'm not a dog. Talk about whiny and co-dependant. As long as she brought you back food, she's done her duty by you. Duh. Teach me to loan my blog to a dog.