My Jungle Gym's Guard

[Oh, for the day when the tree was mine.]

Ruru the Cat here. I used to own the tree as my personal jungle gym. I could protect it from all those who would challenge me. I could climb all over in the tree and knock off everything. They'd put it all back, and I could start over. The fragile stuff would shatter. It was very satisfying. 

[Not fair.]

Well, then other kittens then cats started muscling in on my jungle gym. They'd attack it and knock off MY ornaments. They'd kill MY tinsel and garlands. All I could do was try to attack them until they got too big. Then, I could only stand by and watch it happen. 

[Someone claimed my jungle gym.]

Then, a couple of years ago, a huge monster bigger than us all put together showed up and claimed the tree. He started out a kitten I could knock around. But then, he grew to the size of a panther and decided the tree was all his. Now, he stands guard by the tree (and sometimes in my tree) to make it clear none of the rest of us can touch it. Some of the others have managed to sneak by but not me. I've given up. 

[The big lug being shown he's not the biggest or the strongest.]

But my person showed him recently that he's not as big and strong as he thinks he is. She flipped him and held him as he growled and hissed. It was very satisfying, though I was also jealous at the same time. She's my person, not his. But this gave me hope that one of these days, I will get my tree back. I just have to be patient and stalk it. It will be mine again. Eventually. 

A cat's holiday season

 

[Casper the Friendly Poltergeist, AKA Dude, stealing my tree.]

Ruru the Cat here. Just haven't felt like blogging recently. All the other cats have stolen any holiday fun this year. Dude hopped in the tub the tree came out of to make sure it was all his from the first minute. I didn't even have the chance to sniff the box. 

[MY tree.]

Since then, he made it clear my favorite green jungle gy]m (also called the Christmas tree) is all his. He's the one that gets to attack the dangly sparklies until one after the other hits the floor, some of them shattering on impact. That should be MY job. But he's twice my size. 

[This wrap should be mine--source]

I hide in my room, so everybody else gets to feast on the food. I try to come out and get chased off. One-eyed-wonder, Phoenix, gets to the wrap before I can, shredding everything and attacking the empty roll. 

[What I should be doing with my holiday--killing stuff. Source.]

I didn't even get to knock the lights and the glowing Christmas cat decoration out of the window. I'm not sure who did that, but it wasn't me. 

[My Christmas--note nothing to kill. Sadly.]

It's just not fair. I didn't get to destroy ANY Christmas stuff this year. I guess I'll go pout in my people's room and leave them a hairball and a dead mouse. At least I can get in on Christmas giving. 

Jungle Gym! Mine!

[Someone got to my tree and baubles first.]

Ruru the Cat here.  I came out of my super-secret private room (yeah, the adult humans call it their bedroom, but I know the truth.)  And there, almost up to the ceiling, was a brand new, fresh jungle gym.  To you, it looks like a tree.  Pine, maybe. But it smells like plastic.  And by the time I got into it, it already smelled like cat.  Dude AND Chonk, which means they beat me to it, dangit. I could tell SOMEONE had beat me to it because there were bits and baubles from it thrown EVERYWHERE. 

 

[Me in MY jungle gym] 

But when I came out of my room, it was empty. Well, except the shiny, dangly baubles that are clearly meant to be cat toys.  Anything that exciting and shiny and dangly can ONLY be a cat toy.  So I climbed up inside, and it felt like home.  There was no evil Silvy or Cass, the cats that claimed it a couple of years ago.  Especially that mean, old Silvy who wouldn't let any of us touch it.  I climbed straight up those branches and happily batted at EVERYTHING. It was AMAZING. 

[The competition chases me out, in spite of my best growling.

For about five minutes.  Then, the dorsal tails of my competition moved in.  I didn't even see them before I smelled them because I was so happy with my beautiful jungle gym.  Those two new kittens came closer and closer.  I growled to try to keep them away, but they wouldn't be stopped.  And they're a little scary, especially in pairs. And they're almost always in pairs.  

[Back to my tree.  Grr.]

I finally had to flee to my cat tree, the one that already smells like me.  I feel safe there, protected because Maya and Dude, the two scariest cats in the house, leave it alone.  They don't even try to get up there.  The kittens will hop up there whenever they feel like it and even sometimes chase me down.  But mostly, I can protect my turf.  Because it's safely mine.  

[Don't they know it's mine?]

And, of course, they sniffed my beautiful jungle gym, and the bigger, stripy brat, Wren, even explored it a bit.  Now, I have to wait 'til none of the other seven lurk there.  And even then, I will hesitate to go there because all cats in the house have already marked it as their own.  It's just not fair.  'Cuz it's MY jungle gym.  The people clearly set it up just for me.  'Cuz it's mine.  No touchie.  

North American Tree Weasels Lose Our Tree

[My favorite jungle gym.]

Ruru the Cat here.  My people have taken to calling us the "North American Tree Weasels" because we're always running up and down that so-called Christmas tree thing.  The problem, of course, was that everyone else was always taking over my favorite jungle gym.  I scarcely got to hang out in that thing.  I only got to kill one or two ornaments.  I wanted to take out the whole tree.  Whenever I'd try to slink over there, casually so no one knew it was me, I'd find Cass or, worse yet, Sylvie.  It's supposed to be MY jungle gym. 

[The one toy worth killing.]

Anyway, one day this week, our people gathered around it and took out all those lovely packages wrapped in the oh-so-shreddable paper they stuck in plastic, so I couldn't shred.  They passed those things around.  They even gave me this fuzzy sock-shaped thing filled with boring toys I've scarcely touched.  What I really wanted was that tree, but they didn't stick it in my fuzzy sock.  Clearly, humans aren't as sharp as they think. 

[Little monster steals my toy.]

I do have to say one of those  boring toys was not made of cheap plastic.  It's this big, frilly, fuzzy thing with lots of baubles and shiny, dangly bits.  I like that thing.  I can kill it like they won't let me do the ornaments.  But then, I see them sharing it with the puppies, those useless little rodents, also on the unfortunate list of forbidden play objects.  Sad, too.  I could make quick work of those 4-inch fluffy things.  And now, my toy has puppy cooties.  Thanks again, people.  Grrr. 

[Empty spot where the tree was.]

Anyway, so one day, the mom around here hauled off the tree.  Sylvie was lost all day.  She kept coming back to see if it would return.  It was her favorite hidey hole.  Sucks to be her.  But now, I'll have to wait until next year to slaughter the ornaments.  Ah, well.  I guess I can steal my fun toy back and kill it.  I can also pretend that I'm hunting those annoying and chirpy puppies that are just going to grow and become MORE annoying dogs to eat my dog food.   I think I'll go to sleep mauling that toy, while dreams of annoying, little barky rodents dance in my head.  That'll be fun.