Are You My Mother?

[I do NOT approve of this mad house of kittens.]

Ruru the Cat here. The dumb kittens keep pestering us all and whine all the time, even though I can smell they get the good stuff, the soft, meaty food and the milk. When they have leftovers, the dogs scarf it all before we cats can so much as sniff it.  It's time those vermin left my house.  I wonder if I can childproof my house, making it so no more annoying kittens show up when they're not welcome.  Anyway, they wanted to whine at you for a while, so I figured I'd let you suffer, too.  

[Both cow babies look like this.]

Sock: we were in a box waiting for mommy and people took us away and then fed us milk and it was great but now we don't get milk but have to eat squishy food in a dish and sometimes only sometimes get milk and now they're making us eat hard food and water and i don't like it and want my milk back.  

Loch Ness: uh huh what she said. i like the soft food and keep climbing my new person mommy to ask for some but she just puts us by the dish. i want my milk back.  

Ruru: Seriously, are you two fluffy butts really kittens?  You look more like black and white cows. Make your own milk. 

[And the three dwarf Halloween cats, kind of like ours but even more annoying.]

Big Foot: can i have milk too? 

Mothman: me too oooh, me!

Sasquatch: i like water and kibble and soft food and hard food and milk and all the food. i like it all. 

Ruru: Child after my own heart.  Well, you would be, but I don't like kids.

[Yeah, we don't need you, kitten. We have one just like you but bigger and a cyclops.]

Jersey Devil: i'm gonna keep climbing my mommy with my claws until she gives me the good stuff.  might bite her too. 

Ruru: I'm thinking they named you just right. 'Course, in my mind, you're all little devils. When the people wouldn't give them milk anymore, just that soft, yummy food from a dish, they started begging for milk wherever they could. 

[No, I am not your mother.]

[No, that one isn't either. She's a mom but not yours.]

[Now, it's getting ridiculous. That dog is male.]

Ruru: You see why I want them out of my house. They eat all the good food and our people's time and can't even capitalize words. Anybody want a kitten?  Take them!  They're yours.