I Can't Believe these Ears

[Maya the mean cat stealing my bed.]

 Ruru the Cat here.  My archnemesis is strange.  It's not that she treats us all like little kids. I treat everyone younger than me like that.  And that's everybody but her.  They all look like kittens to me 'cuz they are. A cat never reveals her age because she doesn't know it 'cuz it doesn't matter. Her weirdness is that she has all sorts of weird habits.  I mean, weird weird not cat weird.  We cats do all sorts of mysterious and awesome things you humans just will never get, so give up on trying.  

[Oranges are just ew-pixabay.com.]

 Maya seriously chews and licks plastic, even though it's around those nasty things humans call "oranges." It's just not natural.  The plastic can be around anything or on anything. Is it on a drink that smells nasty beyond all reason?  Sure, chew on it.  It doesn't make sense.  You chew food (including mice) or toys (also including mice).  That's it. 

[Maya, the weirdo, loves ears of corn.

Weirder yet, she eats CORN. Like, she gets all excited about getting an ear of corn and chewing everything she can get off it.  If it tasted like butter or milk or even grass or lettuce, that would be fine.  But it's a VEGETABLE.  That cannot be good for her.  It can't be good for ANYONE.  Seriously, people, you can't imagine how weird this little old lady is.  That's on top of being a jerk who hisses at me or chases me every chance she gets.  That doesn't influence my opinion at all.  Okay, maybe a little. 

My Box!

[Bonding with my box.]

 Ruru the Cat here.  I want everyone to know this is my box.  I have claimed it.  It's my box.  All the other cats in the house think they can borrow it, steal it, love it.  But it's MY box.  I love this box.  

[Bean box]

The big dude in the house thought it was funny to put little white (and spotty) Bean in the box because it's a box for White Beans.  Haha.  Very funny.  Now his smell is ALL OVER my box.  I don't know if I can even sit in it anymore because it smells like doggie cooties.  

[Look at that face--the face of someone who stole my box.]

BUT IT'S MY BOX.  Humans just don't get it.  We cats and our boxes...we love our boxes.  Whatever you do, just don't mess with my box.  Don't even THINK about this box. 'Cuz it's mine. 

Who's who of Prey

[Fun prey-source]

Ruru the Cat here.  It's a fun time of year because little things with lots of legs keep showing up, so we can kill them.  They're not as fun as mice, but I'll take them because they hop around until we pounce on them.  Then, they stop hopping.  I'm not sure what they are.  They also don't taste as good as mice, but they're better than nothing.  We've had a few of them show up.  Wren is a big fan.  You'd think they'd tell each other to stay out, but one right after another, they keep showing up.  So while we're waiting for the mice, we'll take them.  

[MORE legs-source]

There are even more of these ones, and they have more legs.  Sadly, they don't hop much.  You'd think with that many legs, they'd hop more.  They also tend to hide in corners, which makes them a little harder to catch.  Still, if there aren't any mice, they're better than nothing.  Yesterday, I watched one hang out in the tub. I would have chased it except it was on the other side of the water from where I was sitting. My people didn't scream, though I've heard some screams come because of these things.  I really don't get it.  Just pounce on them, eat them, and you're done.  

[hardest prey-source]

These ones are the most common of all, but they're hard to catch.  You try pouncing on them, and you get some human upset at you because you land on them instead with your claws extended.  I wish they'd hold still, so I could taste one.  One of these days, I'll be able to catch one. Then, you'll know what they taste like. 

[The red dot-source]

These are even more elusive that the little black bugs with wings.  I couldn't tell you what they taste like, either, because I've never caught one.  I'm determined that one of these days, I will catch one.  But whenever they show up, Bean beats me to them, and the humans laugh.  Bean says he never caught one either.  Hmm.  They must be the hardest of all to catch.  It's so unfair.  

[best prey, a mouse-source]

But if you see one of these, make sure to call us over.  I'm pretty sure I've sniffed a few recently.  They just seem to be getting smarter and hiding in places we seven cats can't reach.  It's so frustrating.  When we do catch them, they're awesome.  They can provide hours of fun, dinner and a show.  It's been a while.  I can't wait 'til they come down from where they're hiding, so we can show them what fun is.  

Toddlergeddon VII: Toddlerpocalypse

[Beware of vicious, sharp-toothed cotton balls.]

 Ruru the Cat here.  I can't imagine my people were warned before chaos descended this weekend, or they would have left the state.  My house is usually pretty quiet, which is how we cats like it.  Usually, the most annoying thing we have to listen to are the little kick-me dogs yipping to get out then, three seconds later, yipping to get back in again because they have the IQ of a cotton ball.  But I'd rather have cotton balls because they're quiet.  

[Hiding from the descending hoards.]

Anyway, my people left Friday night after the standard flurry of activity that told me they weren't coming back that night.  The biggest clue was they fed us early.  No complaints there except they should have come back again just to feed us a second time.  But anyway, then, they came home the next day, which was fine.  What wasn't fine was when it felt like a portal of toddlers and their loud adult owners opened from the underworld to allow one hoard after another to invade my peaceful house.  I saw the first carload coming with the full Toddlergeddon crowd.  Those itty bitty monsters came screaming into my house, throwing toys everywhere and opening and closing doors.  I came face to face with the first one and knew I was doomed.  I just barely escaped with my life. 

[Like a lamb to the slaughter--RUN, KITTEN!]

Then, another group and another and another and another showed up, many of them with kids who wanted to hunt down cats.  That poor one-eyed kitten did not know any better and got stuck getting passed from kid to kid, including to one of the toddlergeddon crowd, the littlest one that was a nice, safe baby until it got bigger and figured out it has hands that can squish cats.  Mostly, Paige, my huge kitten, and the itty bitty cyclops kitten hid in what used to be my room with my person because my person is smart and doesn't like small hands any better than we cats do. She's our honorary cat. 

[The only good thing about the whole mess. You'll note my ears are still back. That's how offended I was.]

We smart cats hid downstairs until there was no sign of those monsters.  The mom here come down, and it was clear she didn't plan to feed us.  However, we were able to guilt-trip her into it, all five of us hiding down there together, whether we like each other or not.  She didn't feed us a lot, but it made me feel a little better.  We did try to creep upstairs a time or two, but then more of those human littles would show up again.  They invaded and disasterized our house for a full day. It was INSANE.  Finally, we're free of them. But you have no idea how much we suffered.  I hope those little monsters know better than to show up again.  

My New House!

[Not in the mood] 

Ruru the Cat here. It's too hot, so I'm not going to write a blog today.  Besides, the dumb kitten wants to take it, so here she is. I hope I don't regret this. 

[Love my brother.]

Wow oh wow! I am Phoenix and I am a kitten and I love my house 'cuz my mommy is here. I love to play with my brother Wren and eat soft cat food and play on the cat tree and with toys! I love my room with Wren and Paige and Mommy!  I have just one eye and can't smell stuff that good but I'm so happy and love my life!  Yay!  

[One cyclops kitten, the greatest thorn in my side currently.]

Ruru back.  I have to apologize for foolishly trusting the dumb kitten to take over.  I knew I'd regret it.  I'm sure none of that made any sense to you.  And I thought Bean was a pain with his constant exclamation points, and Paige's writing was bad because she doesn't capitalize anything. Besides, kid, that room was supposed to be mine.  That human was supposed to be mine, too.  That soft cat food should be mine.  And that cat tree is definitely mine. I keep thinking it's a good idea to share, and it always ends up leaving me in the dust.  Just pretend this blog never happened.