He Stole My Dot!

[My dot.]

Ruru the Cat here.  So recently, my people pulled out my red dot.  You know the one, the one that they flash everywhere, the one I'm sure I will be able to kill one day.  Every time they bring it out, I'm all about killing it.  Because it's my dot.  Mine. 

[Bean discovers my dot--see that line on the floor?  It's mine.] 

But when they brought out the red dot this time, Bean found it.  He wouldn't let anyone else touch it.  He growled or charged at anyone who tried to stand between him and his dot.  

[Bean bullies everyone else for the dot.]

Even his best friend, Dude, aka Casper the friendly poltergeist, got growled and charged at.  I didn't even get to sniff it.  He was so possessive, so selfish.  Even though he's only four pounds, half the size of most of us,  he still has teeth.  He acted like cats don't rule the world.  Seriously, his priorities are all off.  'cuz the red dot is mine.  

Yes, That!

[My new heaven]

Ruru the cat here.  Yesterday, my crazy people brought in little bits of plant while I was upstairs.  I smelled something interesting but didn't go to explore.  Then, I came out of my person's room and realized something beautiful had happened: catnip!

[He stole my heaven!]

It was everywhere!  The other cats got to those little green bits of heaven and had started killing it, chewing it up, and throwing it up.  Dude couldn't get enough of it, rolling in it, fighting off everyone else.  He was all about sniffing it and attacking it.  I wonder if that's the first time he'd ever smelled it.  

[Where my heaven belongs.]

Let me tell you there's nothing quite as exciting as catnip.  I wonder if I can get my people to bring it in more often.  We could throw cat parties and almost get along.  As long as no one gets in my face or steals mine.  Then, they might just get hurt.   

Invader!

 

[A contented me.  Notice--no dogs.]

Ruru: 

Ruru the Cat here.  My people have never sunk so low.  Well, not more than a few times.  But this was really really low.  There's only one thing I can think of that would have been worse.  And that possible nightmare shall remain nameless but came really close.  I won't even hint at a possible Toddlergeddon.  *Shudder.*  No, but this was almost (but not quite) worse.  It was the visit of a dog!  I heard you gasp.  You can't imagine the nightmares.  

[That evil visitor with her person.  Doesn't she look sinister?]

My person's grandpa came and, for no reason I can figure out, dumped off this annoying thing on us.  It smelled up my house and almost barked at me.  I know.  You're shocked!  After a couple of days, it even started stealing my dog food.  It definitely stole some attention that should have been mine.  Really, enough is enough.  How dare my people do such a shocking thing?  I just can't.  Here's Dude.  He wanted to help me explain what an outrage this was.  I say was because she's finally gone.  

[The meanie who thinks she owns the world]

Dude: 

So this is Dude.  They also call me Casper the friendly poltergeist because I go bump in the night.  Kind of funny.  Ru doesn't like me, I know, because I just want to play with her.  And she sees that as an attack.  And she always looks so grumpy.  

Ru again. Dude, we're not talking about me.  We're talking about the stupid dog.  

[A much cooler cat.  See?  I don't usually mind dogs.]

Right.  Which stupid dog again? Oh, that one.  See, I've staked my claim on the juvenile male.  He's mine.  I've marked him.  I sit on him whenever he makes a lap for me.  But here came the dog to steal my person and growl at me in my own spot.  Not happy.  At least she left again.  

[The boy comforted me when my daddy disappeared.]

I'm the other dog.  My name is Skittles.  I didn't want to be there.  I wanted to be with my daddy, but he brought me and left.  It was so hard, so sad.  I spent a lot of time staring at the door, hoping he'd come back.  It had to be a mistake!  But he didn't come back for days and days.  I was so sad.  I held to whoever I could, and the boy made me feel almost like I still had my daddy.  I felt like I was going to starve because they only gave me boring old kibble.  I'm used to demanding whatever I want and getting it. 

[Here's a cat glaring at me.  I'm much happier with little dogs that know me.]

I was scared when they loaded me in a car, but I got to hold to that boy because he gave me comfort.  But then, we got to a place I remember with lots of little dogs like me.  And my daddy was there!  It was so fun, and I was so happy.  Now, I'm hope and don't want to go back to that place without my daddy.  Too many dogs I don't know, one that jumps and growls at me.  And too many cats.  

Ruru again.  You make me regret accepting your stupid email.  Too many cats?  Happier with dogs?  Of all the nerve! Did we ask for you?  No, we did not.  There's no such thing as too many cats, especially when I'm one of them.  Feel honored to have been so close to the center of the world. 

Have a Ball

 

[Something about eyes]

Ruru the Cat here.  So check it.  My person has started doing weird things.  I didn't give her permission, so I can't imagine what it's about.  She stares at books with weird things over her eyes and all sorts of crazy things.  They call it eye therapy and says it has something to do with headaches she gets when she reads.  Never had them.  Seems kind of made up to me.  None of it makes sense at all.  She can see me, pet me, and that's all she needs to be able to do as a bearer of human hands.  I can't imagine her eyes have anything to do with it.  Her eyes can't pet me.  

[The ball we all want to kill.]

Anyway, so they did a really cool thing.  Can't imagine how it relates to her eyes, but they hung a ball from the ceiling.  Then, she's supposed to bat it around.  Now, this is an activity that makes sense to a cat.  We can bat balls around.  And we want to, too.  The problem is it's too high.  We can't reach it.  If you are going to leave a dangling ball around, make it so cats can kill it.  It looks like the soft foam kind of ball.  If we can reach it, we can kill it.  And, trust me, I want to kill it.  

[Dude wants it.]

Dude wants it more than I do.  He watches it all the time and jumps for it.  But none of us has gotten it yet.  

[Egg-shaped things that smell weird hidden throughout the house to be hunted and killed.]

I guess as a consolation prize, our people put little egg-shaped plastic things all over the house for us to kill last night. We didn't get to bat them around much before the kids came downstairs and disappeared them.  But at least we got the night to kill them.  It wasn't as exciting as killing that ball would be.  But I guess we'll take what we can get until humans figure out we're in charge.