Ruru the Cat here. So, my whiny brother thinks he needs my blog today. I already HAD a Halloween kitty hijack my blog last week. Sorta. Do I have to? I mean, I was going to tell you all about how my person made me suffer by putting a reindeer hat on me. It was TERRIBLE. It HAS to be worse than whatever Chonk Boy has to tell you. Okay, fine. Here's my annoying brother.
I'm Toothless aka My Boy aka Chonk. (Okay, that last one hurts a little. Or it would if I cared what people or certain rude cats call me.) So we were minding our own business when my person started locking cats away for hours at a time.
Ru: Yeah, that part sucked. For all of us. I think they wanted to see our pee. The mom seemed particularly interested in the litter box. All I can say is humans are weird.
Toothless: Maybe it's because I was peeing blood. It hurt, but I don't see how that would matter to people or why I should be imprisoned not ONE but TWO nights in the bathroom. At least one of them, Ru was in there with me, so I wasn't totally alone.
Ru: Being stuck in a room with just my brother for companionship. Oh, joy. Oh, rapture.
Toothless: Thanks. You're no party, either. Anyway, so then, it got worse. I knew something bad would happen if I peed in that box they left for me both nights, so I didn't. They hauled me off, anyway, in a locked little box and took me in this loud, smelly machine I've never been in somewhere that smelled like a lot of other animals. Some human I'd never seen before and hope to never see again poked and prodded me in all sorts of unpleasant ways.
Ru: Yeah, that's called a vet. I don't recommend them. They don't respect boundaries. And they don't seem to recognize cats rule the world.
Toothless: Then, my person left me. LEFT me! I'm supposed to walk away from her, not the other way around. I was stuck in a cage ALL NIGHT LONG with just a box, some water, and some kibble. Even though I cried out and tried to explain I didn't belong in a cage, they didn't let me free. Finally, hours and hours and hours after humans came back and started wandering around, they brought me back (in another stinking cage--smelled like dog) to my person. She didn't let free me right away. She stuck me back in that loud, smelly machine again.
Ru: Oh, you mean a car? Yeah, I hate 'em, too.
Toothless: I finally got home. I felt much better except the peeing blood part. Anyway, so now, my person tried to feed me food that smelled a little gross. Then, she started sneaking up on me when I sleep or when I'm sitting happily on her and then, she'll shove this nasty, sticky liquid in my mouth. It's positively disgusting.
Ru: Yeah, that's medicine. Just close your mouth hard.
Toothless: I've tried that. Doesn't work. She even gets her mate to help. It's just brutal. If some human tries to get you to pee in a box, just run. Not kidding. Run.
Ru: Oh, well, better you than me. But it is funny to watch you trying to shake that taste out of your mouth. Yeah, I told you the hat was worse. Way, way worse. Hey, quit rolling your eyes at me. I didn't know cats could roll their eyes. Brothers.
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