Too Peopley

 

[How life should be--me and one person to spoil me.]

Ruru the Cat here.  Most days are pretty quiet.  I like those days.  Sometimes I have to beat on other cats, or Maya acts like a bully and a jerk to me.  No, Mr. Meow Meow, that does not mean I'm a bully like Maya.  I'm a lot nicer than she is, and I'll swat your butt if you tell them otherwise.  Anyway, so I can usually get the love and affection I want.  It's quiet and peaceful.  I approve, except when the dogs steal my dog food, or the cats get in my face.  

[What a mess looks like--too many humans with large feet to step on cats.  Source.]

Well, today, there was a mob scene with too many people, some of whom actually tried to TOUCH me. And no one even consulted with me.  People said words like, "Happy Thanksgiving" and whatever human drivel, but they didn't ask me.  I'll let them live because they offered me turkey and cheese.  But seriously.  This is my house.  When I want people in it, I'll tell you.  But since I don't know how to speak, you'll be waiting a VERY long time.  

Tolerating My Brother

 

[Me and my tolerable brother.]

Ruru the Cat here.  With so much craziness going on in the world around me, I decided to give my brother a chance to show me he wasn't a horrible monster.  You know how brothers are.  I just got used to thinking of him as just another cat.  He gets on my nerves as much as any other cat. But recently, I've figured out he's semi-tolerable.  That's high praise for a brother.  We've snuggled some and even groomed each other.  Aren't I nice?  Maybe it was just a bout of insanity that I'd let him snuggle me.  

[Brothers are overrated.]

'Cuz the next time I tried, he attacked me.  I wasn't sure if he was being mean or trying to play.  I get that enough from the other cats around me.  Sometimes, I wish I could talk to the other cats like people do.  Then again, they'd talk back.  And I'd have to listen.  Teach me to want to be a human, even a little, or to tolerate my brother.  I just have to remind myself I'm queen of my house, queen of the world.  'Cuz I'm a cat.  

The Cone of Shame

[The kid and me.]

Paige:  hi.  im paige.  im a kitten, but im getting bigger.  i am gonna be a big cat soon.  

Ru:  Yes, little one, but don't be in such a hurry to grow up.  I don't mind you as a kitten.  But you still have to learn how to capitalize and use apostrophes.   

[I don't like the blue thing.]

Paige:  i don't know what that means.  so ru wanted me to tell you about this week.  i went somewhere in a cage, and they poked me and everything went black.  when i woke up, i didnt feel too good.  i was sleepy and couldt walk straight.  they put me in a blue thing.  

Ru:  That's called the cone of shame.  It made you look ridiculous.  I hear it's because they had you "fixed," whatever that means.  We've all been through it.  Seems to be just one of those cruel human things.  Maybe they delight in torturing cats. 

[I nearly fell off the bed.  It was scary.]

Paige: it wasnt fun.  i couldnt see very well.  i kept trying to back out of it but i couldt.  i almost fell off the bed.  

Ru: That was the really funny part.  It was hilarious.  She was just floppy, unlike Mr. MeowMeow, who fought like a demon to get free.  

[No more torture!]

Paige:  finally, i got out of the blue thing.  but they put me in the cage to sleep.  it was boring so i slept.  when i woke up the next morning i felt way better.  but my tummy was naked.  all my beautiful, fluffy fur was gone.  i didnt have the blue thing, so i could clean the little line there i didnt have before.  i feel pretty good now.  

Ru:  Yeah, remember that torture bit?  They leave us shaven and with weird slits in us.  It makes you wonder what they steal from us. I found myself irrationally upset to find they did this to my baby, too.  Seriously, humans, do you not see something wrong with this?  That's why I hang out with cats.  Except most of them, who I don't like.  Okay, maybe I like humans.  I just don't like it when they torture us.  

Where's my mommy?

 

[Happy Cali with her person]

Ruru the Cat here.  So for what felt like forever, we had this big, smelly, farty dog here.  Her name was Cali.  I was not her biggest fan.  She liked cats maybe a little too much.  She'd snurfle our litter boxes for treats and would steal our extra food and had the gall to eat her own dog food.  The nerve. I'm supposed to be able to steal that.  She moved into our basement with her person and made it hard to hide away.  She wanted to snuggle or play with us.  She was, you know, a DOG.  And she's thankfully been gone a year with only one brief visit between.  Anyway, I got an email from her recently, and I'm not sure how to respond: 

[Cali unhappy because she's being held by the wrong person-My person]

Deer cat and dog frends,

My momy is gone.  I dunno where.  She was heer and acting sik.  I was sad.  But then peeple I did'nt no came in a took her away with lowd noyses and flashing lites.  And she's gone.  She has'nt come bak.  Do you kno where she went?  

Luv, 

Cali.  

[Poor Cali.  Sad and alone.]

Ruru again.  Wow, that's a sad letter.  Sad because Cali doesn't know how to spell and sadder because I think I know the answer.   I don't have the heart to tell her I heard her "Mommy" got really sick, went to the hospital, and died.  It's something called a panda demic or something.  Ir's all anyone can talk about, though I don't get what it is.  All I know is it's bad.  My people were boohooing about her person a while ago.  It made me sad, too.  Cali's mommy was nice to all of us.  Sorry, Cali.  Not sure what to say except I think it's time to take another nap and hope all of this goes away.