The NOT so Great Outdoors, part 2

[Not my happy face.]

Ruru the Cat here.  Remember how I told you about this terrible, horrible place last week?  Well, it turns out there are animals here in this very house that LIKE to go outside.  Do they not know this very week water fell from the sky on ME?  These weirdos don't just like it.  They get EXCITED about going there.  *Shudder.*  They like to go on WALKS.  Like on a leash.  Can you imagine?  I know, you're wondering what kind of insanity is this.

[Me, a sssnake in the grasss.]

qwwdfg  Out of the way, cat.  I sssaid nothing about a leassssh.  I do not approve of any sssuch thing.  Keylime Python here.  Or that'sss what the humansss call me.  I allow the juvenile male human to haul me to the grasss and then on in his handsss or arm or head on walksss because of he sssmellsss.  I can sssmell rodentsss all around, old and new, large and small.  I can sssmell lesssser sssnakes, those like me but sssmaller.  It is a fassscinating voyage of resssearch.  I can't get enough.  I learn ssso much.  The cat knowsss not of which ssshe ssspeaksss.  jlk;;;

[The snake that vomits water.  Stupid snakes.]

Yeah, yeah, shut up, snake.  Wish you didn't have to type all that nonsense coming and going just because a LESSER life form like a snake can't use their toes to type like a proper animal.  They have to slither.  I saw something that looked just like you but was spewing water.  I like the mouse smells, but they're too far away to do me any good.  If the mice aren't here and now, in my claws, they're boring.  Snakes know nothing.

[Yay for walks!]

Hey, me.  This is Twix.  I'm a pomchi.  I'm here, too.  I want to speak.  'Cuz outside is awesome.  The awesomest of awesome.  The only thing awesomer is WALKS.  'Cuz they're awesome.  The smells!  See, the snake gets that right.  The smells come from everywhere!  I get to wade through grass and find more smells!  Yay!

[WALK!!!!]

What Twix said.  Walks!!!!

[Me in a proper feline habitat: inside, with my person, on my keyboard.] 

Whatever, Dodger and Twix.  Ruru, the voice of reason, back again to remind all of you whose blog this is.  Never go outside.  Ever.  It's terrifying.  Just nightmarish, with its cars and predators and spaces.  Oh my!  I'm a cat.  I know better.  Just don't go there.