Serious NO!

(Scary world)

Ruru the Cat here.  I can't imagine what possessed my person.  She took me to this nasty place, worse than the bathroom.  Worse even than the bath TUB.  Oh, it was terrible, like some kind of nightmare.  Worse than a nightmare because it's still THERE!  Nightmares fade. 

I can hardly talk about it because it was so traumatic, like the day the dumb dog let my mouse get away or the last two days without my person.  But worse.  My person was there, which is great, but she did this horrible thing.  She took me OUTSIDE.  Can you believe that?  It was terrifying. 

(On that horrible swingy thing.)

She dragged me outside where that scary bright light shone overhead.  It's brighter than anything inside.  And there's this field of green stuff on the ground.  It smells great, like I wanted to munch on it, but I didn't want to touch it.  I'm not sure how that would work, but I was willing to find out.  However, my person didn't let me. 

She dragged me onto this swinging thing that went back and forth and back and forth.  She held me on her lap, so I should have felt safe.  But I didn't.  I just wanted to go inside where it's quiet and peaceful, and the only things trying to kill me are other cats I know and can beat up. 

(Oh, the horror, the horror!)

Oh, but it gets worse, much worse.  She then put me up on this smooth plastic thing and dropped me down.  I felt like I was going to die right there.  I knew I would fall forever.  It felt like I was falling for a year.  Just when I knew I would hit that stuff on the ground, she caught me.  AND DID IT AGAIN.  Only then did she bring me inside. 

My person is sick, I tell you, sick.  I don't know what humanity's problem is that they seem to LIKE to go to this ugliness called outside.  Leave me inside.  It's good here.  It's not terrifying.  It smells like me.  I'll let you all live if you don't do that to me again.