Fishies and Water

(HEAVEN!)

Ruru the Cat here.  You may have noticed I'm just a little bit opinionated.  Shut up, Toothless.  Okay, Toothless says a lot opinionated.  Well, let me tell you that I have very distinct preferences about what I put in my mouth.  I love cat food and cat treats, obviously.  (Dog food and dog treats will work, too, because I am cuter than any dog and deserve them more.) I mean, if you stand between me and my cat treats, I will likely eat through you to get to them.  If you pick up the cat treats or say the word treat or open the refrigerator door, you are promising to give me treats.  Something in the cheese or meat categories, and I'll let you live.  

[Me in heaven.]

My person has been home a lot this week.  She hasn't been good for much since she's been just laying there and maybe groaning.  There were fishie crackers in the house for DAYS, and she didn't give me any.  I let her live because I'm nice like that.  Finally, in the last couple of days, she started getting (and sharing) fishie crackers.  Finally!  I've been pining away, longing for my lovely fishie crackers.  'Cuz they're mine.  I have been in heaven the last couple of days.  

But she also keeps dragging me to the bathroom.  I don't like it because she sometimes sticks me in the tub with WATER.  However, her mom does just the right thing in the tub.  She gives me warm bath water, the best of all water.  I will turn my nose up at cold water, even fresh cold water, but I'll lick water right out of the tub.  Tub water is the BEST.  Toothless is nuts.  He sits at the sink to beg for fresh water.  Who wants water trickling right out of the sink when you can have tub water?  Warm tub water.  Just don't give me warm meat.  It's yucky.  

So to recap (take notes).  Warm water=good.  Treats=very good.  Meat and cheese=awesome.  Fishie Crackers=best of all possible things in the universe.  Now, go get me some tub water and fishie crackers, and you can be my best friend forever.  Or at least until the water cools down, and you run out of crackers.  

Creepy Crawlies

(Me, being all the pet a person could want.)

Ruru the Cat here.  Crazy things have been going on in the cold-blooded end of the house.  I just don't understand why the people types around here even need reptiles when they have us, the warm fuzzies.  It is a mystery to me.  But humans are weird like that.  Oh, crap.  Here comes that stupid snake again.  I would roll my eyes, but I haven't figured out how. 

(The juvenile human ssssharing his body heat.)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzsdfsg Ssssorry about that.  Sssslithering acrosssss the keyboard tendssss to result in too many buttonssss pressssed.  Hello, there.  Thissss issss Key Lime Python again.  Thingssss are sssso good around here.  The male juvenile human haulsss me around, sssso I can ssssmell everything.  I know there are rodentssss.  I jusssst haven't found them.  He will wear me assss a hat or assss an armband or assss a necklaccccce.  Then, when I make it clear I am done, he putssss me back in my housssse, sssso I can hide in my sssssnake cave.  When I get hungry, the male juvenile feedssss me.  He no ssssooner offerssss me a rat then I ssssnap it up.  All issss right with the world. It issss not my drama the feline mentionssss.  It issss that of the lizardssss.  

(My fellow reptile, who moved into my old room.)

The bearded dragon has jussst moved into my old cage, which issss huge for her, though it was tiny for me.  Ssssshe is content.  The large leopard gecko issssss happy, too.  I just watched her ssssssshed.  

(This is what the larger leopard gecko looksss like.)

But the little leopard gecko got sssssick and could not catch cricketssss.  The large human female fed her by hand, but it wasssss not enough.  Sssshe did not make it.  It isssss a tragedy to losssse any reptile.  I know they are lesssser creaturessss to a large ssssnake like me, but thissss issss sssstill a tragedy.  The feline returnssss.  hljl;k/4354322. 


Ruru again.  Aw, come on, snake.  You seriously just stole my blog to talk about some wriggly little lizard?  At least we agree those lizards are lesser creatures.  They're PREY, not tragedy.  Now, a cat treat going to a dog.  That's a real tragedy.  Silly reptiles.  Blogs are for cats. 

Broke a Nail

Ruru the Cat here.  I have been in the crappiest mood.  Yeah, it doesn't help that my person left me day before yesterday and was gone until last night.  That sucked.  The dogs get so needy when they're gone.  Oh, and my person leaves me.  Yeah, they got upset at me for chewing into their bread before I discovered it had that nasty cinnamon stuff on it.  Yeah, it sucks that I'm stuck with cats I don't like much in my house.  That all is nightmare fuel.  But that's not even my biggest trauma today. 

No, why I was so grumpy all day was I busted a nail.  Or really, more than one. I'm not even sure how it happened.  It was just so high up that it hurt and made me feel just miserable.  So when my person got home, I grumped and growled at her.  This morning, she still hadn't fixed it, so I got even grumpier, growling and telling her to go away.  She even did for a while but then came back.  I mean, usually, I tell my person there's a problem and she fixes it.  But she didn't even try this time.  I hate feeling all girly and stuff, whining over a busted nail.  But it went past the tip, so it HURTS.  Almost worse than when one of the other cats slashed at my ear tip and cut it right off.  This really sucks.  I don't like it.  It's uncomfortable, but worse yet, I just can't claw other cats and dogs when they get in my face.  How can I be the boss around here without one of my primary weapons?  People just can't understand the suffering.  

Driving Me Nuts

 (My person held me all week!)

Ruru the Cat here.  I don't know what to tell you about this week.  It was a really good and really bad week all at once.  My person was home ALLLLL week.  Now, this was fabulous because she snuggled me all week, catching me whenever she could and just snuggling me as she played on that light-up thingy I think they call a tablet.  Or is it a computer?  Both?  I don't know. 

(Two of my pet peeves: the light-up thing and that DOG.)

I don't get it, though.  Here, she has a perfectly fluffy and cute cat to hold, snuggle, and rearrange.  I was just sitting there for her, and she'd stare at the light-up thing.  Aren't I enough? You don't even have to stick my tail in the wall like you do with those flat, boring things.  I'm the real laptop here.  People don't make any sense.  So that was one thing that drove me nuts. 

(What, isn't a plain old boop bad enough?)

The other was with her here all the time, she found new and creative ways to torment me.  She put on these big scary claw things and booped me.  She dangled me and flopped me around by my scruff of fur like I was a kitten.  She let that dog hang out with us all too often, even letting him chase me around.  She locked me in the room anytime she wasn't holding me. 

(You might want to look away.  Horrific things happened here.)

Worst of all, she took me in the bathroom a lot and said that nasty word "bath" a lot.  Couldn't she see my eyes rolling in the back of my head with terror?  She even BATHED my toes, even though I made it clear water and that bathroom are a no-no. 

(FISHIE CRACKERS!)

But it's all good 'cuz she fed me fishie crackers.  And held me.  And snuggled me.  Can we have another week just like this?

The Red Eye of DOOM

Ruru the cat here.  There's this crazy thing that appears in my house that looks like a red eye that peers into my very soul.  It darts around the house like a tiny mouse but is harder to capture.  The thing is so impish and elusive that none of us can catch it.  It's like a tiny ghost that disappears and reappears the second you trap it.  

I'm not sure what to make of this thing.  It only appears on occasion.  However, whenever it does, we're all determined it needs to die.  But it's crazy fast.  I mean, we're cats.  Of course, we're fast.  Dogs don't have a chance of being faster, even when they think they are.  But we cats try to catch it with lightning speed.  We think we have it, but it's gone.  

I imagine you don't believe me, but it's true.  You say such a thing can't exist.  But there it is.  The weird thing is it doesn't smell like anything.  I've caught it between my claws, and I can promise it doesn't feel like anything.  I just don't get how something like this can exist.  But I swear I will catch it next time it appears.  'Cuz I'm awesome like that.