Birthdays Are Weird

[Here I am, a martyr to a human's crappy idea of fun]

Ruru the Cat here.  I get that my person thinks I'm a little four-legged person in fur.  Sometimes, it's a good thing.  This week, she threw me what she calls a "birthday party."  Some of it was awesome.  Some of it, I'd pay a huge pile of person money to forget.

One thing my person thought was cute that day was to make me try her orange juice.  Just ew.  I don't get how it's a good idea, this orange stuff.  It's just nasty.  And BECAUSE she got that stuff I didn't want stuck to my fur, she gave me yet ANOTHER bath.  Haven't I made it clear baths are for people and dogs, not for superior life forms like cats?

And then, even worse, she and her cousins thought it would be hilarious to put me on a leash and take me for a walk around the house.  Seriously?  Do I LOOK like a dog?  And OF COURSE she had to then dress me in person clothes.  NOT a person.  See these claws?  See these adorable green eyes?  Pointy ears?  Fluffy body?  Yes, these are things that should prove I'm NOT even sort of a person.  I meow.  I'm not a dog, either.  Do I smell like a slobbery, shaggy, stupid dog?  No, I do not.

 [See that poop-looking stuff in the bowl in front of me?  It smelled WAY better than it looked.  It's a cat birthday cake.  You should try it sometime.  Minty tuna?  That's what heaven smells like.]  

But it wasn't all bad.  She made me what she called a birthday cake.  I've licked human-type cake.  This was something else.  It was shaped kind of like a mouse, but it tasted like catnip and milk and tuna all AT THE SAME TIME.  I couldn't quite figure out how to eat it until they crumbled it.  Then I just wanted to stick my face in it and absorb it.  That was bliss.

[That pink thingy looks silly but smells like a slice o' paradise.] 

But even better was this little home made toy that smelled like catnip.  I could spend hours just smelling it and licking it and showing it the love it deserves.  If only my brother would leave it alone for a moment, that is.  Maybe this birthday stuff isn't all bad.  Just wrap up the baths and orange juice and clothes and give them to somebody who wants them.  I'll take seventeen birthdays in a row if it means more mint.  Especially tuna mint.  Do cats know how to party or what?