My Person Is Eeeeeeevil

Ruru the Cat here.  Here I was, thinking my person wasn't half bad.  She's usually super sweet to me, snuggling me with my stuffed leopard and carrying me up and downstairs when I ask and hauling me around.  She protects me from that scary puppy.  She's just generally good to me.

But this week, she was seriously on something.  She gave me ANOTHER bath.  And she's constantly threatening to give me more because she likes to see me suffer, clearly.  

If she didn't want me to suffer, she wouldn't have made me the star in a fashion show.  Fashion, like clothes.  CATS DON'T DO CLOTHES.  Seriously.  At ALL.  EVER.  I don't do this: 

I really really don't do this: 

I definitely can't stand this one: 

This one is worse:  

What did I do to deserve a horrible week like this?  I'm such a sweet, innocent angel.  I promise.