Terrible!

[My used-to-be-dog-now-adopted-into-the-cat friend, Harmoni]

Ruru the Cat here.  The worst thing I can possibly imagine happened this week.  My good buddy, Harmoni, disappeared.  She was there one day, snuggling me and grooming me and just being awesome, and then she went out like usual to go potty.  I didn't think anything of it.  Then that silly thing the people are always talking into--I think it's called a phone--rang, and my people got all weepy and teary-eyed.  I heard them say words like "car" and "dead" and "highway" and "Harmoni."  I smelled Harmoni and blood through the window, but it didn't make any sense to me.   I didn't know what it all meant, just that I haven't seen Harmoni since.  My people have been looking really sad.  My person has been hugging me a lot.  I keep wondering when Harmoni will come back.  

[Thing is HUGE, like four times the size of my friend or more!]

But it's hard to say which was worse, that or what happened next.  The very next day, my people showed up with a monster.  I told you about the big white canine monster that lives outside.  I told you about the big black canine mountain that sometimes visits.  But those are sometimes visitors.  They don't invade my space...much.  This monster--they call it Izzy--has taken over my whole house.  Not kidding.  She eats all of Harmoni's food and sleeps in spots Harmoni used to sit, except she doesn't fit, including on people's shoulders and laps.  I thought at least while Harmoni was gone, I could eat all her food.  No, the Izzy Beast is like a vacuum on four legs.  

[Baby and I peering out to see if the Beast was coming.] 

[The Beast came!]

Worse yet, she terrorizes us cats.  We have to hide on the tallest pieces of furniture.  I peer at her from behind blinds, from under my armor chair I told you about, from on the piano, from behind my person's mom, from anywhere that is not directly in front of the line upon line upon line of white shark teeth.  But I've actually caught Baby PLAYING with that thing.  Playing with it.  And that's after that beast sat on Baby and pushed her off the bed!  Okay, I about died laughing when that happened.  Nobody does that to Baby and lives.  They don't call her the "Dumb Ways to Die" cat for nothing.  But this Beast still lives!

[This was the first day, when Baby had the right idea and wanted to kill it.]

I confronted Baby about playing with the Beast.  She said she was defending herself.  But when you're defending yourself, you growl and hiss and puff yourself up to look really big and scary.  My person says I'm cute when I do that, but she clearly doesn't know what she's talking about 'cuz I know I look like a mean panther.  Anyway, Baby is actually swatting at the Beast but not growling or puffing up or anything.  That Izzy monster is playing BACK!  Has the world gone mad?  Where is my Harmoni friend, and when can we get rid of this beast?  

[MISSING: ONE FUNNY LOOKING CAT.  IF YOU SEE HER, SEND HER HOME so she can take back my--I mean her--dish from the Beast.]