Midget Yeti and the Return of Toddlergeddon

[Missing: one annoying piece of furniture.]

Ruru the Cat here.  Can I tell you what a weird week it's been?  I can't say I loved Twixie, the annoying dog that was always trying to compete for my people's attention.  But I'd figured out how to tolerate him.  I'd borrow his body heat if he wasn't picking on me.  He was there, kind of like a vacuum or an annoying younger brother.  Just sort of there, but not something you had to be happy about.

[Here I am with the replacement annoying piece of furniture.  That is not a happy look.]

Then, this week, he just disappeared.  Not sure why or how, but he's not here.  I've looked.  I had no sooner started celebrating that I wouldn't have to tolerate his presence anymore when my people showed up again with a fluffy little thing about a third his size but which seems to want to be surgically attached to my person's mom.  Fortunately, the little white lint fluff that barks and growls but doesn't eat much food or take up much space doesn't seem to cling much to my person.

[Note how it occupies MY space.]

Looks a little like those big ol' yetis that sometimes show up in my back yard, except she's shorter than me.  However, I wish to file a complaint she uses up wayyyy too much of the space around my person's mom.  That's my spot.  I'm supposed to be there to dominate the use of those hands.  It's just not fair. I no sooner get rid of one annoyingly loud space-sucker than another one shows up.  At least it doesn't eat my dog food.  Nah, the other dumb dogs around here do that.

[Better the fuzzy lint than me.]

I could take all that in stride but for what came next.  Those scary toddler monsters showed up again.  Do my people really hate me that much?  These mini-human-like things threw stuff everywhere, ate everything, and got into and threw around whatever they couldn't eat.  Kind of like locusts only less friendly.

[Get these devils out of my house, all of them.]

We cats stayed in hiding for the whole time they were here. We know what kind of damage those two bigger toddler monsters and the littler, newer one can do.  Then, as if to add insult to injury, our neighbor types that have the yetis showed up with KITTENS.  I'd take three mini yetis over just one kitten.  Those little bitty things with sharp pointed claws chase you around and attack you.  They're just no good.  We peeked around corners to see what toddlergeddon did to those kittens, and it was horrible.  Just horrible.  They were grabbing tails, smacking, squishing, and, worst of all, slobbering on those poor kittens.  Now, I find kittens to be about as annoying as a vacuum, but even they don't deserve toddlers.

[Toddlers+kittens+midget yeti+my house=SERIOUS NOPE.]

And those toddlers are getting BIGGER.  They'll be GIANT TODDLERS soon, stomping around my house and pulling cat tails in no time.  They may even start eating dog food or find us and drag us out to do who knows what.  Why would someone do something horrible to the world like bring kittens, dogs, and toddlers into it?  Especially toddlers.  *Shudder.*

Boo on Camp

[Screaming out in frustration because my person is gone]

Ruru the Cat here.  She did it again!  But this time, she did it sneakier.  Sometimes, my person's family will disappear.  I get super frustrated when that happens because I have to look needy to the renter who lives in the basement.  I follow her everywhere but have to LOOK like I'm not being needy.  That's really hard to do.  But at least when that happens, I know my person's gone. 

[In denial that my person ditched me!]

This time, it took me a while to figure it out.  ONLY she went somewhere, which was weird.  She was there one minute, where I could supervise and keep an eye on her, and then she was GONE.  Like, just gone.  Poof.  I looked everywhere.  No person.  Okay, there were people, just not the RIGHT person.  They said something about camp.  I haven't yet figured out what that word means.  But whatever it is means something TERRIBLE. 

[Me, being desperate for attention]

Because I spent three whole days moping around and begging everyone for attention.  I tried to play it cool for a while, to make myself available for attention.  But humans are dense.  They just didn't catch often enough that I was there, waiting.  I even had to run and beg when anybody at all opened the fridge for any reason.  Man, you'd think humans would get better at reading the subtlety that is a cat. 

[How life should be--with my person]

Finally, my person came home.  I made her wait a WHOLE hour before I make myself available because she made me wait FOREVER.  Or at least the better part of three days.  How thoughtless.  Of course, when she came, I had to hide in her room.  Make her work for it.  But now she's here, she's NOT going back. 

My Butt Noodle Revisited

[My butt noodle.]  

Ruru the Cat Here.  Have a mentioned that humans are just weird?  I don't get their fascination with the wavy flappy thing attached to my butt.  Seriously.  It's just a tail.  I know.  Humans don't have them.  Maybe you have tail envy. 

Anyway, so my people have taken to doing this crazy thing I don't understand.  I'll just be laying there, and a human will pat my tail and say, "Slaps."  I'll look almost asleep, but I can't let that slide.  It's MY tail, not yours.  Mine.  So I have to show the human who is boss and slap that hand back with my tail.  So these humans get all excited and slap my tail back.  So I slap them twice or three times because I want a nap, but they think this is a game.  We'll slap back and forth for several minutes.  I just want to be left alone, all right?  But all of the humans around here have taken to doing it.  I'm really trying to get you to leave my butt noodle alone.  It's mine.  I'm attached to it.  Leave it alone. 

But it can be kind of fun.  Sorta.  Just don't tell anyone I said so.

The Fourth of What? Weird Humans and Dogs

[Nothing to see here.]

Ruru the Cat here.  I'm glad I missed this part.  I'm actually thrilled I was allowed to sleep all day.  It's what my humans call "The Fourth."  The fourth what, I'm not sure.  They said something about Independence Day.  Humans may be independent for one day, but cats are ALWAYS independent.  Except at feeding time, but we won't talk about that.  Well, my people went over next door and brought a dog.  I'm looking at these pictures and realized the dog from here, Cali, was then confronted with that yetis that sometimes haunt my backyard.  Can I say how happy I was to stay home?  Here's silly Cali's take on it:

[Calli vs the yeti]

Oh, my gosh!  It was so exciting to meet up with two friendly dogs next door!  I was scared at first 'cuz they're BIG.  I mean REALLY BIG!  But then, it turned out they just wanted to sniff my butt.  They bounced around to play.  It was all very exciting.  

Me: Dogs have a very loose definition of the word "exciting," clearly. 

[kittens and dogs: nope]

But then, I went inside without the big, friendly doggies, and the people showed me little cats.  I mean, itty bitty ones that didn't do much but cry and crawl all over.  I wanted to get really close and maybe play with one a little, but the kitties hissed and spat and stuff.  I almost got the feeling they didn't want to play.  But I'm so cute.  Who wouldn't want to play with me?  I kept trying to get to them, but my mommy wouldn't let me.  I just wanted to chew on them and chase them and shake them a little.  It's how I make friends.  What's wrong with that?

Me: Gee, I wonder.  Get thee hence, dog. 

[Note the look of fear in those eyes.  So thankful I missed the explosions in the sky.]

Then, that night, we went out and and watched big explosions in the sky with light spreading everywhere.  Kaboom!  Kaboom!  My mommy kept telling me what a big girl I was for not barking every time it went kaboom.  I spent the whole time wondering how to chase all that light like I chase the little red dot at home.  It was so exciting!  I watched it carefully, making sure it didn't get anywhere it could hurt my mommy.  It kind of made the air smell funny, but I had a blast!

[What I was busy doing that day: NOT doing anything.  Zip.  Sleeping out the noise.]

Me: "Had a blast."  Pun clearly not intended because dogs aren't the sharpest marbles in the drawer.  Can I say again how thankful I was to sleep through that day?  Big noises, scary lights in the sky, and too many dogs and especially kittens are not my idea of a party.  Remind me to stay home whenever this happens again, too.