[Missing: one annoying piece of furniture.]
Ruru the Cat here. Can I tell you what a weird week it's been? I can't say I loved Twixie, the annoying dog that was always trying to compete for my people's attention. But I'd figured out how to tolerate him. I'd borrow his body heat if he wasn't picking on me. He was there, kind of like a vacuum or an annoying younger brother. Just sort of there, but not something you had to be happy about.
[Here I am with the replacement annoying piece of furniture. That is not a happy look.]
Then, this week, he just disappeared. Not sure why or how, but he's not here. I've looked. I had no sooner started celebrating that I wouldn't have to tolerate his presence anymore when my people showed up again with a fluffy little thing about a third his size but which seems to want to be surgically attached to my person's mom. Fortunately, the little white lint fluff that barks and growls but doesn't eat much food or take up much space doesn't seem to cling much to my person.
[Note how it occupies MY space.]
Looks a little like those big ol' yetis that sometimes show up in my back yard, except she's shorter than me. However, I wish to file a complaint she uses up wayyyy too much of the space around my person's mom. That's my spot. I'm supposed to be there to dominate the use of those hands. It's just not fair. I no sooner get rid of one annoyingly loud space-sucker than another one shows up. At least it doesn't eat my dog food. Nah, the other dumb dogs around here do that.
[Better the fuzzy lint than me.]
I could take all that in stride but for what came next. Those scary toddler monsters showed up again. Do my people really hate me that much? These mini-human-like things threw stuff everywhere, ate everything, and got into and threw around whatever they couldn't eat. Kind of like locusts only less friendly.
[Get these devils out of my house, all of them.]
We cats stayed in hiding for the whole time they were here. We know what kind of damage those two bigger toddler monsters and the littler, newer one can do. Then, as if to add insult to injury, our neighbor types that have the yetis showed up with KITTENS. I'd take three mini yetis over just one kitten. Those little bitty things with sharp pointed claws chase you around and attack you. They're just no good. We peeked around corners to see what toddlergeddon did to those kittens, and it was horrible. Just horrible. They were grabbing tails, smacking, squishing, and, worst of all, slobbering on those poor kittens. Now, I find kittens to be about as annoying as a vacuum, but even they don't deserve toddlers.
[Toddlers+kittens+midget yeti+my house=SERIOUS NOPE.]
And those toddlers are getting BIGGER. They'll be GIANT TODDLERS soon, stomping around my house and pulling cat tails in no time. They may even start eating dog food or find us and drag us out to do who knows what. Why would someone do something horrible to the world like bring kittens, dogs, and toddlers into it? Especially toddlers. *Shudder.*
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