Parasitic Infestation

[That's not a cat.  That's a FAT.  Shut up, Toothless.  I am NOT fatter than the fat.]

Ruru the Cat here.  So, I heard this story that made me thankful not to be our neighbor's (my person's cousin's) cat, Marshmallow.  Weirdest thing happened to her.  She started blowing up like an uncomfortable balloon.  It was weird, from what I hear, because something was wiggling in that fuzzy balloon.  I figured she was just sick.  Seems like just a couple of weeks ago, she was here as a nasty, evil, little beast haunting my steps and harassing me, teaching me exactly how much I DON'T like kittens.

[Ha!  see how much you like kittens dogging your steps.]

Anyway, so then, my people went over there, and the funniest thing happened.  She's now less fat, and she's been stricken with her OWN plague of those nasty beasties called kittens.  I think they call that karma.  Here's what she had to say about it:

[Scoutie, the thorn in my side that kind of grew on me.]

They just wouldn't come!  Oh, my crap.  It was so hot, I thought I was gonna die.  I just wanted them OUT, those painful things keeping me awake all day, every day, and all night, too.  And people wouldn't leave me alone, either.  I just wanted to be left alone to wander the neighborhood.  Scoutie, my persons' other cat, kept teasing me that I was getting fatter than he was.  Then, he just disappeared.  Was kind of a nice change of pace that he's not teasing me, anymore, but I kind of miss that lug.  Sure, he was a pain, but he'd groom me when I was just too hot and tired and in pain to bother. 

[The humans just won't leave us alone!  But it's kind of nice.]

Anyway, so it finally happened.  I got them to come OUT.  And they're here!  My darling angels are here, all three of them, and I can lick them clean and cuddle them and protect them and feed them. But here's the obnoxious part.  Now EVERYONE, including near strangers, are staring at me and trying to mess with my darlings ALL THE TIME.  Who asked them?  They're my babies!  Leave us the freak alone!  I growl to tell the humans to back off, but they just keep petting my angels, my babies, my sweet things.  It's a headache. But I like it, as long as they pet me, too.  

[The only cat that ought to matter to anyone.  That's right.  Me.]

Nah, with all that whining and their cheeping, you're all a headache.  Can I tell you how happy I am that's not me?  I wonder what made her so sick that she blew up and popped out little parasites like that.  Hope it won't happen to me.