Ruff Day!

[It started out fun.]

Cali the Dog here.  I just saw Ruru's blog was open.  My mommy tried to drown me today.  I know she did.  I saw she was leaving.  I wanted to go, too.  Whenever she wants to go somewhere, I gotta go.  Otherwise, I'm ALONE.  Only with other dogs and cats and people and stuff, but without MOMMY.  I don't wanna be alone.  So I wanna go. Usually, she takes me for walks and potty and walks and trips that take me somewhere fun like playing with puppies.  Oh, and walks. 

[This is when they laughed.]

But, today, my mommy did something scary.  She took me to water.  She put a jacket thing on me.  The people laughed and laughed at me, even my mommy.  Then, they did something worse.  It's hard to even describe.  

[In the scary kayak]

They put me in this thing they called a kayak.  I thought it was okay, as long as Mommy was coming too.  

[Here's where I think they wanted to drown me.]

But then, they put it on the WATER.  Not the yummy kind of water, either.  Or even bath water.  No, big, scary water that rocked and blew and made me want to be sick.  It was TERRIFYING.  I was sure I was gonna DROWN and die and stuff.  It wasn't safe like a walk.  There were no treats.  Just lots and lots of water that rocked the kayak thingie.  Mommy was there, but I was so scared. 

[Nasty water!]

Then, she finally took me to land but left again on another boat without me.  I thought I was gonna DIE because I didn't have my mommy.  But I didn't want to go on the scary water.  I didn't know what to do.  Why would Mommy be mean like this and take me scary places?  I don't understand.  

[The face of fear.]

When they put me in a boat again, even with Mommy, I was so scared.  I thought they'd send me out on the water.  I almost peed myself.  But they didn't make me get in the water again. Finally, we came home, and I was safe.  But it was so scary!  Oh, no  Here comes Ru.  She's gonna be so mad I stole her blog.  

[What I was doing the whole time it sucked to be that dog--taking a nap!]

Shoo, dog.  Get.  Oh, crap.  Oh, my.  This is the funniest blog I've ever read.  Man, I'm glad I'm not a dog.  Snurfle.  Humans wouldn't dare mess with a cat this way.  They'd know it would earn them a dead mouse in their shoe.  But this.  This is just epic.  Man, I'm going to be laughing about this all week.  Taking a dumb dog kayaking.  I'm gonna have to let that dog borrow my blog again.  I could always use the laugh.