Humbug

[My jungle gym.  Mine.  No touchy.] 

Ruru the Cat here.  Yeah, so there are some good things about Christmas.  Mostly, my lovely tree jungle gym.  Meat like turkey and ham that we sometimes get. 

[Pure awesomeness.  The only possibly good reason Christmas has to exist.]

Oh, and this awesome toy.  Don't forget that.  It smells like joy (they said something about catnip, but who cares if it smells like heaven?)  Better yet, it has this awesome feather thing on it I can kill.  I can't get enough of this thing that showed up for me from this big stocking-like thing on Christmas day.     

[Me, standing guard over my lovely spangles.]

But over all, this Christmas stuff is overrated.  Remember my lovely, perfect jungle gym?  Well, I tried to protect it.  I stood by to make sure they couldn't take it away from me.  But they did, anyway.  The freaking day after Christmas.  What's that about?  Why can't they leave it forever?  But before they hauled it off, they stripped off those wonderful spangles I was only halfway to destroying and the tinsel I only got to break in half.  It's just not fair.  I tried to protect it, too.  No good. 


[Humans are weird.  What can I say?]

Plus, what's this about?  The day before that crazy holiday, I got stuck playing an "angel" (whatever that is) while my person moved these weird little dolls around to tell some story.  I don't get it. 

[Friends don't let friends who use these things live.] 

Worst of all, on that nightmarish day, this nasty thing showed up.  And I got stuck in it much of the day.  Seriously?  Humans are twisted and sadistic to invent such a nasty thing.  Shame on you, Santa Claws (or whatever they call that monster).  Next year, I'm staying in my jungle gym and throwing away the key (if I can find one.)