Nasty Forcefields

[Mmmmmeat!  Human food is the best.]

Ruru the Cat here.  Humans make such lovely food.  Yes, yes, I get that we cats are welcome to eat our boring kibble once a day, steal the dogs' food all day, and then get yummy treats whenever they're offered.  Those are lovely, but the real stuff is what they eat, themselves.

[Slices of heaven.]

For instance, they make this lovely stuff called bread.  White, soft, yummy bread.  But do they offer it to me?  Generally not.  Which means I have to steal it.  Then they get unhappy.  Well, if they'd offer it to me to begin with, I wouldn't have to steal it.  It's kind of like an open invitation to steal.

But they always put this invisible force field around that lovely, happy bread that melts in my mouth.  They force me to chew through that nasty force field I think they call plastic to get to that lovely stuff.  Then, they put it in a thicker, nastier plastic, as if they want me to think it's not open season on lovely bread.  I repeat, if those stinking humans would just offer me the stuff I want to begin with, things wouldn't have to get so complicated.

[Me, trying to get through an obnoxious force field on my fishie crackers.]

It's worse yet when they put those force fields around stuff like fishie crackers.  My person actually gives me crackers, so I know I'm supposed to have them.  Plastic force fields are not the worst thing they do.  These fishie crackers are generally stuck in this cardboard container I can't chew through, which is far worse than the force field.  When they leave it open, I can fish for those tidbits of cheesie yumminess using my paw.  But too often, they close it up.  Then, I can only wish for the force field I can actually break.  But it gets worse still when they put meat, cheese, and the best of all things into a hard, metal box that's cold inside.  When they do that, I am reduced to sitting by every time it's open and beging, waiting on their mercy to give me the treasures for which I yearn.

Maya the Cat here.  I just thought I'd jump in and say plastic is really great to lick and lick and lick and lick.  It doesn't even need to taste like anything.  I don't know why the other cats don't find licking plastic exciting, except sometimes Toothless.  It's not even about the food inside.  Plastic doesn't keep you from the yumminess.  It IS the yumminess.  Plastic is magic.  

Maya, you're weird.  

[How fishie crackers should be served, in vast quantities, readily available.]

Seriously, people, stop making it so hard for us cat-types to actually get this human food.  You know we cats are in charge.  Stop complicating our lives unnecessarily by making us work so hard.  Thus sayeth your masters.  Cute, fluffy, big-eyed masters you love so much that you're gonna go out and give us a fishie cracker RIGHT NOW.