Attack of the Toddlers 3: Revenge of the Yeti

(Trapped in basement!)

Ruru the Cat here.  I have been hiding downstairs all weekend, along with the rest of the cats.  We're afraid to stick our noses out, all of us (and do you know how annoying siblings can get when you're all cooped up together?)  There's yet another big, scary yeti out there.  It looks kind of the same but a little smaller.  But it smells different.  Either way, it's too big and scary and gets in our faces.  So here, we hide.  And it's been TERRIBLE.  All our lovings (and dog food) is being taken by Yeti II.  

(BEWARE OF STICKY MONSTERS)

Oh, and it gets worse.  The people who brought Yeti, Jr, also brought TWO TODDLERS.  Those same toddlers that play with dog food, throw cookie cutters downstairs through our cat door, haul cat toys and stuff everywhere, threaten to pet us with their sticky hands, and just generally take over our WHOLE HOUSE!  It's been a NIGHTMARE!!!!   

Twix?  What are you doing?  That's my computer!  Leave it alone!  Okay, fine.  Go ahead.  But I warn you, cats reading this blog, that Twix is just a dog and shouldn't be taken seriously.  

(SCARY MAN!!!)

Hi.  I'm Twix the most adorable pomchi in the world.  Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!  It's all far worse that you think.  I have had the worst week!  The WORST!  Ruru doesn't get it, oh nononono.  It was bad bad bad bad bad!  Everything was great and wonderful. Every morning, I bark and bark and bark and bark and bark at that scary man in my house.  My mommy has stuck a jacket on me, saying it would stop me from barking.  Didn't work.  He's scary, just like the person who hit me when I was little.  He hasn't hurt me yet, but I know he's gonna.  He gives me treats and tries to pet me!  So scary!  Anyway, so then they put smelly stuff on my nose that tasted great and made me feel a little better, but he was still scary!  All he had to do was twitch, and I'd know he was gonna eat me!  They gave me chill pills that made me relax a little, but he was still SCARY.  They plugged something in that makes the whole house smell like something pleasant, but there's still a MAN in my HOUSE.  I mean, so scary that all he had to do was walk around, and I knew I was gonna DIE!!!  

(Cone of shame=horrible!)

Anyway, then one day three or four days ago, that scary, scary, scary man hauled me off in a box and brought me into a place that smelled like dogs and cats and rabbits and BIG DOGS.  Scary ones.  And lots and lots of people that smelled like dogs and cats and bunnies.  It was TERRIFYING.  Until they put something in me, and I went to sleep.  When I woke up, something was different.  Something was missing.  I felt weird, and strange people were petting me.  My mommy came back, and I was so HAPPY. But now, my peepee parts hurt all the time.  I try to lick them, and my mommy says no.  She even puts this cone thingy around my neck, so I can't see very well, and it's uncomfortable.  It's been awful.  I've been hugging my mommy the whole time.  

(Not so scary)

Then, the big, scary, white dog Ruru calls a yeti showed up.  And it smelled scary.  And those toddlers tried to pet me!  So I barked and barked and barked and barked.  Suddenly, the big, scary man in my house doesn't seem so scary.  He offers me bacon and pets me and offers me bacon.  So I lick his hand and sit by him.  He's still a little scary, but he's not as scary as the toddlers and the yeti.  Except now, I'm kind of used to the yeti's smell and the toddlers give me food.  I'm still in pain, but things aren't as bad as Ruru says.  Really they're not.  Everything's good when I have my mommy and when the air smells nice.  

(Get thee hence, yeti and toddlers.)

Ruru again.  Well, you're no help.  There's still a YETI in my house and, worse yet, TODDLERS.  They throw the dog food everywhere and reach over to pet us.  They're still SCARY.  I don't care what the air smells like.  I told you that you can't trust a dog.