The Big, Loud Monster

[Do you see its mean, beady eye staring at you?  RUN!!!]

Ruru the Cat here.  There is a big, scary thing that sits most of the time like a sleeping monster.  I'm not sure what it is or why it's here.  Most of the time, we forget it's even there and race around it.  

But once in a while, a person touches it, and it wakes up.  When it awakes, it roars in a way that deafens and terrifies all cats and dogs in the house.  We all run as fast as our legs can carry us, even Willow, the big, scary dog-like yeti that lives in my backyard and often comes inside.  We all flee the loud monster's might.  Its roars hurt our ears and fills the air with this funky odor kind of like old dirt but more chilling because it always accompanies the monster's awakening.  

Once it's awake, it tears through the house, pulling some person behind it.  I don't know whether it serves them or they serve it.  It just seems there's this chilling symbiotic relationship that occurs between the loud monster and the person.  I don't understand it at all.  Every time it sleeps, I hope it's dead and won't awaken again.  But then, it possesses another person and makes that person awaken it again.  I wish I could figure out how to kill it.  But once it's awake, I don't want to get anywhere near and will shred anything holding me back from my terrified flight.  The thing is an absolute terror, and I wish it would go away.  Get thee hence, loud monster.  Leave my people alone.  

Curly Toes?

                          [I don't get it.  They're just toes.  Adorable 'cuz they're mine, but still...]

Ruru the Cat here.  My person is weird, in case you haven't figured that out yet.  She sits around petting me, staring at me, tormenting me, pulling on my body parts, snuggling me... you'd seriously think she was a toddler by how hard she plays with me.  But yet I still come back because the snuggles are so nice and because she generally makes a great pet.  Except when she dresses me up, but that's a topic I've already mentioned again and again and again because it's of those frustrations in training up a proper pet human. 

But she's started to get all excited and shrill just because I curl my toes.  If someone pets me just the right way, my toes will curl without me thinking about it.  It's really nice to be petted that way.  I just don't understand why she has to get all shrill and excited and--above all--loud just because my toes curl.  Doesn't she get that my ears are really really big, and sounds are really really really loud to me?  What, doesn't everybody curl their toes sometimes?  But yet her whole goal in this world seems to be to make my toes curl.  I guess it's not so bad because it means I'm getting snuggled and petted in just the right way.  And nothing (except maybe ham or tuna or steak or cream or cheese) is nicer than that.

I just wish she didn't sound like a siren just because I curl my toes.  I guess if it means I get more loving from my favorite pet, I'll just have to deal.  As long as she also gives me steak.

Yeti in my Backyard

Ruru the Cat here.  So there's this thing that's invaded my home turf, and I don't like it at all.  I'm pretty sure it's a dog 'cuz it smells like a dog.  But it's big.  Huge.  And it scares me.  I vaguely remember a big black dog scaring me out of my wits in my own house.  I think this thing has been here before.  But it's big and white and looks like it blends in with the snow back behind the house.  And it has huge feet that could stomp on me.

                                             (My dog-shaped lump bonding with the beast.)

It wouldn't be so bad if it stayed outside, but it comes in my house, sheds all over everything, and uses up the attention, love, and above all DOG FOOD that belongs to us cats and maybe those useless lumps my people call their own dogs.  But mostly, it belongs to the cats.  We've claimed it, so it's ours.  For instance, there was a lovely ham bone she ate all by herself.  She didn't share. 

                  (Too much hobnobbing with the enemy.  My cat family should know better.)

I keep reminding the others that this is our enemy, but the dogs and even the other cats have more or less accepted her into our little tribe here.  The dogs are super excited every time she's either in the house or out back.  I mean, they seem to want to jump on her even though they can't reach very far.  I don't get what's going on at all, though my people think it's pretty funny.  They say something about the boy dogs wanting to make puppies with this big, hairy monster.  I shudder at the thought because then there would be MORE of them.  But with the way those little dogs don't reach past her knees, I'm thinking we're safe on that account.

I just wish we could send this huge, slobbery throw rug back wherever she came from.  Or maybe wherever you find other yetis.  But I seem to be the only one with this logical, intelligent perspective.  In the meantime, I'll ignore her and try to eat up all the food in the house before she vacuums it up.  It's the least I can do to protect my house.

This School Crap

(What life is supposed to be like all day every day.  Kittygaroo, where have you been all my life?)

Ruru the Cat here.  I thought my person had learned her lesson.  I've been so loving and sweet the whole time my person was home for about two weeks.  It was bliss.  She pretty much wanted to hold me almost all day every day for that whole time.  I showed her how great I could be.  I put up with all her silliness of dressing me in costumes and rearranging my face and hauling me around like a plush toy.  I let her feed me off her plate.  I showed her how great it was to not go to school.  

But then she went back, anyway.  I can't believe this.  She keeps doing this to me.  She tantalizes me with these beautiful days of being home all the time and then there are days and days of her being gone almost all day.  It's just not fair.  I'm stuck finding body heat from her mom, but it's just not the same.  Whoever thought this school crap was a good idea obviously doesn't care about the needs of an adorable cat like me.  Seriously.  I think I'll boycott school.  Show them just what I think of it.  Grrr.