Vulching like a Vulture

[I'm not amused by others sneaking between me and my plates of food.]

Ruru the Cat here. I used to be the one to perch over my people's plates every time, staking out my turf to make sure it was all mine. This was before my people were so foolish as to let the curse of puppies strike our house, before my people got addicted to letting silly little kittens or stray cats in my house.  The food was all mine, and they knew it. 

[Note the dumb cat vulching on the birthday cake that should have been mine.]

I could lay claim to an entire loaf of bread by chewing through the bag, be handed meat and cheese while my humans made dinner, and be handed the empty plates. Everyone knew their place, and it was to spoil me rotten.  It was my privilege, as my people would say, to "vulch," which, apparently, is derived from the word "vulture," whatever that means. 

[And now, there are more of them surrounding my cake.]

Now, Bean the eternal puppy, Varya the kitten, or one of the big, mean cats take my place. They chase me away if I even try to perch somewhere to await the dregs. I can scarcely go downstairs to get my own dinner anymore. My brother says this is my fault because I picked on all of them when they were little, and then every one of them got bigger than me. I say he doesn't get it. I'm the queen. It's my house. If they don't acknowledge it, that's their problem. 

Favorite Prey

 

[My favorite toy.]

Hi.  Ru isn't in the mood to write today.  I'm Varya the crazy kitten or maybe I'm a wolf. I'm not sure. I get called lots of things.  But I just wanted to talk about my favorite thing in the world: pipe cleaners.  I don't get why they're called that, but they're wiggly and amazing.  I bat at them, and they fight back. 

[The next best thing to a mouse.]

I keep hoping to find my very own mouse, but Paige steals all the pretend mice, and the guys seem to get to the live mice before I even know they're there.  I got to sniff a dead one, but it didn't play with me.  So instead, I haul around these lovely, fluffy things everywhere.  

Nobody fights me for them. I can drop one and kill it and kill it again.  They don't take up much space, and they're super lightweight.  Ru thinks I'm silly, but I think they're the best things in the world.  Everyone should get some. Even Ru. 

My Person Was there for Me!

 

[When it was just me]

Ruru the Cat here.  It's been a long time since my person has worshiped me properly.  I used to rule her room. It was great. It was a quiet space with just my person there to give me all the attention I wanted and then to stand by and be ready any time I wanted affection. Okay, so sometimes she pet me when I hadn't given her permission. I could forgive that as long as her room was all mine.  

[Tolerating Kittens]

Well, then the kittens all piled into my room, and it stopped being my room, a quiet space for just me and my person.  I couldn't even stand to be in there anymore because their smells were everywhere, covering up my own. And you know how monstery kittens can be.  They just won't leave you ALONE.  And there came one after another after another. And now, most of them are bigger than me.  

[Like this. Do this all the time.]

Well, this week, she gave me some real time. She didn't try to take me to her room. Nobody would have liked that because I've since claimed her maternal parent's room. There, I can be in silence and periodically get attention. Not as much as I'd like, but at least no one picks on me there. But my person just came up to me and pet me and pet me and rubbed my belly and my face and just didn't leave. It was the greatest moment I can remember. Now, if only I can get my person to worship me like that all the time, I'd almost be able to ignore the rest of the cats or even almost like them. Nah. But at least I'd get the worship I deserve.  

Aggressively Affectionate

[Me patiently ignoring the little monster.]

 Ru: This is Ruru the Cat. Like I said last week, I only tolerate my brother, Toothless, and the kitten, Varya, my brother because he knows I can beat his butt and the kitten because she's smaller than me. I do worry that situation won't last, which means I'll have to treat her like I do every other cat in the house: to put down my claws and make it clear who owns the house. It's not that I'm afraid of cats that are bigger than me. It's that they're all big and mean and deserve to be growled at. Stop laughing, Toothless. Well, because I tolerate her, I'm going to let Varya take my blog, so I don't have to.  

[Me and my good buddy on our person.]

Varya: Hi! Of course, Ru likes me! I'm everybody's best friend, whether they like it or not. I love to chase around and kill the puppy! It puts a big smile on that silly little dog's face. 

[Be my friend. Or else.]

I love to snuggle cats, even if they try to tell me to go away.  I love to pin them down and lick them until they love me.  I love everybody, even if I have to whip them into loving me. I love being everybody's best friend!

[Who knew this little dust bunny could be so scary?] 

Ru: Yeah, I'm a little bit nervouse for the day you do get bigger than me. You may MAKE me snuggle you. I think I'll be hiding in the drawer now.