I Hear Jaws Music

[Peace and harmony--notice how I'm letting Paige bask in my light]

Ruru the Cat here.  Just when things were calming down, and all of us cat-types were getting along (except that evil Maya, who has it in for me just because I'm the superior cat), a scary thing has crept back into our lives.  

[Flashbacks to the horrors of toddlers.]

I thought toddlers were bad.  Really really bad.  Grab my fur and mess with my dog food bad.  Throw stuff at fluffy friends and mess with our toys bad.  That's bad.  But it turns out bigger small humans can be worse.  Remember that female child that showed up at the same time as the toddlers last time?  Yeah, she's back.  I keep looking for toddlers to follow her around.  They haven't shown up yet.  

[Note the presumptuous hand, thinking it has permission to touch me.]

Not only is she back, but she's been cornering me and trying to PET me.  Repeatedly.  She's been trying to PLAY with me.  Can you believe the nerve of such a monster?  I did not give her permission!  I was, in fact, hiding under that weird structure that seems to have no purpose but to entertain kittens.  Except now, it provides shelter since my usual hidey-hole is gone.  And when it was clear I didn't want to be played with or touched, she did it anyway!  The horror!  Are you shocked yet?

 

[I like the little girl.  She's nice.] 

um...ruru?  this is paige.  i just wanted to say i really like that little girl.  she comes and hugs me and pets me and plays with me.  she's so sweet.  i want her to come all the time.  

[No touchy.]

Shows what you know, little one.  Last week, I thought you were really getting it.  A human is supposed to only touch us and play with us with our catly permission.  To do otherwise is presumptuous and shows how humans think they're in charge.  Besides, if you don't capitalize anything else, at least capitalize my name 'cuz we all know I'm the center of the world.  I am, after all, a cat, which makes everything I do amazing. 

but i'm a kitten.  i'm amazing, too, right?  

You're a kitten.  That's different.