Wind in my Face

[A sketch of the weird thing.  Source]

Ruru the Cat here.  So a weird thing showed up in my house a while ago, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.  I wish the humans around here would remember who's in charge and consult with me before they do crazy things.  Seriously.  I know it appears every summer, but they never do ask my opinion.  Not that I'd answer.  Humans are just not worth talking to.  Rebellious, every one of them. 

[Speak with management.  I am management.]

Anyway, so this weird thing is a big box made of plastic that rumbles and blows out air.  I like that it cools my house, so my fur coat doesn't feel so hot.  I like that it puts outside smells into my house.  But it makes so much noise.  Have you seen our ears?  They're BIG, so we can hear the tiny sounds of skittery mice.  That loud noise drives me nuts.  And I don't like when that wind blows directly into my face.  It dries me out and confuses me.  Seriously, people.  Remember who is in charge here and ASK THE CAT. 

Angel Flies away

[Good riddance, Angel.]

Ruru the Cat here.   So a thing happened.  A really good thing, actually.  One of my nemeses, the crazy puppy, Angel, went away.   I've been hoping for this for a while.  It's seriously calmed down her brother and made him (a little) less of a monster.  Good news all around.  Woohoo!  I guess Bean has a different take on all of this.  He's wrong, but you may want to hear it.

[My big sister was there, and now, she's gone]

My sister's gone.  I'm not sure where.  She was here and then she was gone.  Every time I saw her, it made me want to kill.  We had so much fun running back and forth across the house all the time.  She's just always been there.  

[Bean playing with the boring, new puppy]

It's great that my mommy gave me a little sister.  She's even started being a little fun.  And smelling like meat because they give her the food I want.  Cinnamon actually plays back a little.  She's not as fun as Angel, but she's cute.  Cute and kind of boring, but cute.  

[My new little brother]

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It's awesome that they gave me a little brother who's a kitten.  Angel showed me how to play with him because I couldn't figure it out.  He plays differently.  Doesn't much matter what he is.  He'll play with me!  We chase each other like crazy across the house. It's so much fun to have a little brother.  So now, I have a little sister AND a little brother, and it's amazing.  I just have to remind him my food is mine and the shoulder I sit on all the time is mine and that the cat food is mine, but mostly, we get along great.  But I still wonder where Angel went.  Ru says there's an email for me.  Wanna hear it?  Maybe we can learn what happened together. 

[My new friend.]

Dear Bean, 

Please tell our people to come get me.  I think they must have forgotten.  I can't imagine they'd leave me here intentionally.  They love me, and I love them.  I miss you and them so much.  I'm so lonely because there's no four-legged friends to play with here.  

[The little humans love me.]

The little kids can't get enough of hauling me around and taking me for walks down scary stairs.  They love me, but they don't know how to play with me like you do. 

[I want them to be my friends.  They kind of look like me.]

There are cats like the kitten and Sylvie, but unlike my friends there, no one will play with me.  They'll touch noses with me.  I kissed one of them to tell them that there were no hard feelings, but I'm sad.  I have a woman who loves me and hugs me and carries me around and protects and feeds me.  There's a man here who loves me, too.  A lot of my toys are here, my blanket, some of my treats.  But there's no brother or kitten to play with, no Sylvie.  I'm trying to be happy, trying to keep up the hope that you guys are coming to get me.  I like it here well enough.  I just miss home.

Angel

Oh, wow!  She's visiting other people.  I wonder when she'll come back.  I can at least email her back and find out.  Ruru, how do I email? 

[All small humans, all the time.  Gah.]

Wouldn't you like to know, Bean?  That's a cat's secret.  Can't tell you or you might share with your demonic little "brother."  As if a cat could ever be a dog's brother.  Ruru back again.  So do you want to tell me or should I that this is forever, that this is her new home?  Off she went to that house with small children with small, grasping fingers, and foreign cats.  *Shudder.*  All toddlergeddon, all the time. Yeah, I almost feel bad for her.  Almost.  Better her than me.

A Little Shadow Monster Conquers My House

[Puppy invading my person.]

Ruru the Cat here.  Everything was fine, more or less.  Okay, so my people were leaving me (again, as usual) to go somewhere called Bear Lake.  Don't know why they'd want to hang out with bears or lakes, but whatever.  I figured it's a person thing.  And my person has been spending less time than usual with me because I've been frustrated with a lot of things going on, mostly puppies.  My person keeps hanging out with them, putting their smells all over MY room.  But this week, it showed me things could get worse.  Much, much worse.

[LOUD!]

My people went outside and heard that most terrifying of sounds, worse than anything I can imagine: the loud meow of a VERY loud kitten.  They had to catch it.  Which means they put EFFORT into dragging this loud monster into my house.  I think I've established that babies of every kind drive me insane.  Human babies chase me around and grab me and slap me and play in my dog food.  Dog babies EAT that dog food and make smells and a mess all over the place from chewing on everything then even invade YOUR PERSONAL SPACE.  But then, worst of all, there are kittens who do all of that and also invade YOU.  They want to attack your face, your feet,and worst of all, your beautiful, lovely, well-groomed tail. 

[Kill it, Bean.  Let one problem take care of another.  No, stop PLAYING with it!]

Kittens are loud, smelly, ill-kept because they don't know how to groom themselves properly, and above all, busy.  There isn't anything they won't touch and put all their smells all over.  I knew the second it had invaded my space because of those kitteny SMELLS.  EVERYWHERE!  All over the sofa, all over the exceptionally tolerant other cats who even let it steal their special spots on the sofa, all over the floor, and...you're not going to believe this...all over MY PERSON and MY ROOM with that person in it. 

[How do they tolerate it?  It bites me, and it's gone.]

It's just an insult.  I walk in my room, and those smells are everywhere.  It's like my person likes that beast or something.  I just don't know what to do.  Anybody have any extra space for a cat?  Better yet, an obnoxious, annoying, busybody kitten?  Gah.  I can't believe this has happened to me, and after all the mice I've killed for this family and all the beauty I've brought into the world.  I'm a positive martyr. 

My Spot

[My favorite spot.]

Ruru the Cat here.  I have a spot, and it's not yours.  You can't have it.  With all the people that wander through here and all the annoying dogs, especially the puppies, and the other cats, especially that evil Sylvie, I must have a place to hide.  It's the only way I get any peace.  It also provides comfy, cozy armor from the rest of the world.  My ideal spot is with my person.  But if I can't have that, I know where to go.  

[My second favorite spot.]

Yes, you guessed it.  It's the underwear drawer in the bathroom.  The only annoying thing is people will open my happy safe spot looking for underwear.  The boy keeps joking about trying me on.  I think not, human juvenile.  Human cooties are just nasty.  Whenever my person is, for some unimaginable and illogical reason, not worshiping at my altar, I hide in there.  Like I said, it's nice, cozy, puppy- and cat-free (except for me).  Just the way I like it.