Live Action Hairballs

[Where the Wild Things Are]

Ruru the Cat here.  Enough already.  It's bad enough to have regular-sized dogs around here.  The ones that eat my dog food, stolen fair and square, and that think they are some how big enough or important enough to chase cats around.  Now, they've brought in these little monsters.  Have I mentioned how much I hate babies?  ANY babies, including cat babies? 

[Monster nipped my ear!]

It's worse yet when they're dog babies.  But I was traumatized.  Traumatized I tell you.  I was sitting on my person's bed, minding my own business, when the little monsters came up and chewed on my ear.  MY EAR.  Like, the one attached to my head.  It was all I could do not to bite the thing and chew it up like the hairball it is. 

[The one that's not so horrible.] 

One of them isn't so bad.  She's kind of quiet and did NOT chew my ears.  We took a nap together.  I did not kill her.  You're welcome. 

[The monster on my bed.]

But I hear it's the spotted monster that is going to stick around.  The one that swatted at me, jumped at me, and generally made a nuisance of himself.  He even chewed my BUTT NOODLE.  MINE!!!  NO one touches my butt noodle!!!

[Monsters on my bed.]

I'm okay with dogs when I can safely ignore them.  This one would not be ignored.  And did I mention that, worst of all, it was in my turf?  On my person's bed?  I could almost handle it on the floor.  But on MY BED in MY ROOM?  That's the last straw.  Seriously.  They're loud, smelly, and in MY BED.  GAH!!!  Whose bright idea were these things?  Can I ship them back to wherever they came from?  I don't think my ear will ever recover from this trauma.  I'm gonna go kill something, so I can feel better.