People are Despicable.

Ruru the Cat here.  Baby's been bugging me to let her take over my blog for a day.  I was going to let her this time.  Except this week, my person has done something so horrible, so rotten, so mean that I just have to let off some steam about this.  It's worse than going to school and leaving me.  It's worse than tossing me into the snow.  It's worse than anything I can imagine.  It's worse even than letting a dog or a toddler into my house.  She's started to chase me down and put me into clothing.

Seriously?  I already suffered through the season people call Halloween.  I thought I was finally through with this humiliation.  Then she started putting me in a bee costume and calling me Beeboo.  She likes to call me Boo, which is okay.  Better than that dumb nickname "Charlie" or whatever she called me for a while.  So now it's Beeboo.  Except her brother thought it was funny to switch it around and call me Boobee.  But really, the worst part is that she thinks it's funny to put me in clothes.  I figured out how to get out of that stupid bee costume pretty quickly.

And then she put me into this ridiculous sweater with a hood.  Do I look like I want to wear person clothing?  I mean, I have my own glorious fur coat.  I do NOT need person clothing or silly nicknames.  Seriously, person mine, next time you're in the mood to put somebody in ridiculous clothing, just go dress yourself.  I said last week that people are sick.  This just proves it.

                                      (Not the face of someone who likes to play dress up.)

Babies and toddlers and dogs! Oh, my!

I can't imagine a worse event.  I really can't.  Ruru the Cat here.  A most terrible thing happened yesterday.  It was bad enough when those big people brought a toddler and a baby.  I mean, that was bad.  The baby's okay.  I can handle something that just sort of rolls around and squawks.  No problem.  A month ago, these same people brought the toddler and the baby here, and I survived it somehow.  The toddler thought it was fun to chase me around.  I figured out how to hide and avoid the monster called toddler.

No, it gets worse.  They brought a dog.  Not just any dog.  We have dogs, and they're okay.  They are about our size and snuggle us.  We've embraced them as honorary cats.  It's all good.  They sometimes chase one of us cats around, which is annoying.  But then they calm down again, and we're back to grooming each other.  No, this was a monster, big and black and scary.  Think boogie man but bigger.  With huge teeth.  I couldn't walk through my own living room because the thing took up half of the floor.  And one of us tried to snitch his food.  It was just a joke, really.  But then he growled and went for her.  Baby doesn't let the dogs around here pull their crap.  But what can you do when a mountain with teeth threatens you?  You just know you're gonna die.  They called him Ares and said that means god of war.  It sounds pretty scary, if you ask me.  Even Baby had to flee before his might.  I just stayed out of the way of both toddler and big, scary, mean mountain.  

Except then the people thought it would be funny to hold me against the toddler to get pictures.  I couldn't avoid the thing, and he thought it was pretty swell to snuggle me and attack me with his hands.  I thought that was threat enough.  Then they put me face to face with the barking mountain, and I thought I was going to die right then.  I think I lost years of my life.  It seems they did it to take pictures and laugh.  People are sick, you know that?  

Kinda Desperate

Ruru the Cat here.  It's been frustrating having my person be gone again for this place called "school."  I loved so much having her home all day every day that this whole having her gone a lot and going to bed early is just the pits.  I get so desperate for love that I'll even stand near my person's mom or dad just to invite snuggles.  It's humiliating.  I mean, I'm begging here.  They're usually pretty good at catching the hint, but it sucks that I have to hint at all.  These worshipful humans should be begging me for the privilege.

I was so delighted at the love my person gave me this weekend that I pretended not to notice that she used me for furniture.  I'm used to being used as a pillow or teddy bear.  This time, she used me as a card table.  And I let her because she is my person, and I would let her do anything.  But if one of the dogs tease me over it, I will deny it to my dying day and plot my revenge.

SNOW!!!!

Ru the Cat here.  This weird thing has happened to the world outside.  I mean, it only affects me a little because I'm in the house all the time.  It went from being a world full of colors and shapes [not that color is half as interesting as movement to predators like me] to piles and piles of cold white stuff.  I don't get it.  Anyway, Scoutie came back after he faced the white piles in person.  He told us all about it.

We came to visit you guys, and my people took me outside and threw me in that horrible white stuff.  It covered me!  It was so scary and cold.  I was sure I was going to die!  And rather than holding me and comforting me, they laughed.  Laughed!  

I turned to the dog to get sympathy, but she was too busy jumping around like a bunny, bouncing from pile of snow to pile of snow like she was a dolphin in the water.  She's nuts, I tell you!  Almost as nuts as my people for thinking there's anything good about that white stuff out there.  I'm only lucky your people opened the door right then, so I could escape these crazy people.  The world has gone nuts, I tell you, and my people and the dog with it.  I just don't get it.  But I think I'm scarred for life.  

All we could tell poor Scoutie is that we thought it was pretty funny when he got dumped in the white stuff, too.  He stormed off in a pout.  Brothers just don't know how to take a joke.  

My plan didn't work. Dangit.

This is Ruru the Cat here.  I'm kind of bitter right now.  There I hid, carefully within the branches of our lovely green tree-like jungle gym, set to defend it to the death.  I heard rumors that our people were thinking of taking it down.  Seriously?  We just fell in love with it again.

So there I sat, on a branch.  Every time my person's mom reached in to grab a shiny bauble, I attacked her hand.  Every.  Time.  But she kept doing it.  What kind of a sadist is she, anyway?  Or maybe it's a masochist.  Whatever.  Those are people words.  Not my problem.

I tried.  I really did.  And then to add insult to injury, once our lovely jungle gym was gone, they left for two days leaving behind nothing but two handsful of food.  Each.  Jerks.  Man, this whole "holiday" stuff is really crappy for us feline types.  At least the food's good.