Ruru the Cat here. I was minding my own business one random day, wishing my dumb people would come back from wherever they'd disappeared to for an entire night (jerks--yeah, they fed me before they left, but why go somewhere else when I'm HERE? I am the center of their world. Hello.)
When my humans finally came back, they started saying this weird phrase, "Happy birthday." To a cat, this phrase is really meaningless. I understand birth. That's where someone produces an annoying, tiny, loud thing from...somewhere. Not sure where these obnoxious things called babies come from. They just ARE like dogs, loud noises, and other annoyances. Day. That's the cycle from when humans are boring to when they get interesting then back to boring again. Something about light and dark, not that these are interesting concepts to a cat, either. There's not THAT much of a difference. Come on.
Anyway, so my humans came to me as I sat on the cat tree and said that meaningless phrase. What was meaningful was that they gave me meat. And cheese. And catnip. So what is this birthday stuff? Got me. Couldn't tell you. Don't care. But I'll take a birthday every day of the week if it means more cheese. And meat. And catnip. And everyone looking up in worship at me.
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