Stuck with Puppies

[Me pointedly ignoring the little pest in the lefthand corner.]

Ruru the Cat here.  I hear the world is on lockdown.  Don't know what that's all about.  All I know is my person has been around a lot, which is great, but also that I've been up to my eyeballs in puppies for the last two weeks.  I hear it had something to do with their mom going into something called "heat," but none of it makes any sense to me.  All I know is that every time I turned around, there the loud, yappy things were, locked in with ME in MY room.

[Dumb Sylvie actually encourages them by playing with them.]

And here's the worse problem still: they like me.  Well, they like cats in general, in spite of my best efforts to show them we cats can't stand dogs, especially of the young variety.  Few things in life are worse than bouncy, enthusiastic puppies jumping all over you.  I claw at them, hiss at them, and just generally tell them to buzz off, but they keep bouncing back.

[Why does she like them when she has me?]

And my person likes them.  Seriously?  When she has me?  Why would she find a dog's company at all desirable after she's basked in the glory of a cat?  Now, it could be worse.  She could do this to me.

[Human clothes!  Bah!]

Or this.

[Shudder.  I hate this caterpillar costume.  See the other clothes they were thinking of trying on her?  Glad it's not me.]

Or this.

[The hairballs sleep in there at night.  Just no.]

So on the bright side, I can just watch her do this to them and laugh myself sick as they try to struggle their way out.  Finally, just these last few days, my person has finally let them out of my room.  Maybe it has something to do with the nasty, doggy smell in the house fading.  One way or another, it's a relief to mostly have my room to myself (and MY person).  Now, if only I could find some puppy repellant, some way to keep them out for good.  Or maybe I can grow some thumbs.  But that would mean I'd have to become a human, stuck wearing person clothes all the time.  Never mind.  I'm good being a cat.

Corona What? Silly Human Freakouts

[TP?  Who needs it? Source.]

Ruru the Cat here.  I keep hearing all the people around here and elsewhere freaking about the corona something.  I don't get it.  I thought Corona was something nasty humans drink.  I don't get why that's leading to mass hysteria.  Humans keep worrying about lack of toilet paper.  Cats have that dealt with this nicely, no need to rush anywhere and buy anything.  And washing hands?  Same thing.  I have this awesome sanitary tongue.  But you can't borrow it.  Humans are gross.

[School?  Who needs it? Source]

And no school or school at home?  I don't get school's purpose, anyway.  It just takes my person away from me.  I'm all about her staying home.  I'm also all about my person's mom working less.  It means I get more attention.  Not kidding.  I'm not seeing any downside here, unless other people are supposed to come here to go to this school something.  That would be a nightmare.  I just don't need warm bodies here that I can't claim.  See last week's blog.

[Food I can't find myself?  Who needs it? Source.]

And the food supply?  No worries.  We can catch mice.  We can hunt down table scraps if there are any.  If any bugs come by, we can get those, too, for extra protein.  Besides, there's always the magical food dish that refills itself every night.  If you don't have one, you should get one.

[Just be me.]

See?  There's no reason to freak out.  Just stay home.  Lounge around on the sofa.  Lick yourself and catch mice.  I do all of that all the time, anyway.  Just be a cat.  Then, you don't have any worries.

Invader

[The new public enemy #1]

Ruru the Cat here.  Was this some cosmic joke?  We have FOUR dogs.  FOUR.  Two dogs, two puppies.  It feels like we have 26 puppies because they're EVERYWHERE.  This week, a neighbor shows up with a new dog who's about the size of the mama dog.  Seriously?  26 is not enough for everyone? 

[This is just too much.  That hand should be mine.]

But the truly frustrating thing was that this dog wanted to be the center of everyone's attention.  No sooner would she leave one person than she'd glom onto another.  Everyone with hands had to give her and ONLY her love.  If two puppies could become 26, this dog seemed like fifty.  That's 76 little dogs taking over my house.  One dog is too many.  This kind of math is ridiculous. 

[At first, it seemed like she could keep her distance, would just be just another dog.]

If one of we cats snuck out to spend quality time with a person to get some attention, the dog would growl and show she'd claimed every set of hands in the house.  The puppies were able to sneak in and get love.  They just ignored her growling.  But we cats kind of have to take dog chasing seriously.  You never know when a dog, even a tiny, dumb dog, can actually hurt you. 

[Then, suddenly, she seemed to be everywhere!]

It was frustrating, to say the least.  Day after day, this dog was here, taking up all the love that should have been mine.  It drove me insane.  Then, a beautiful thing happened.  The person who dropped her off came to pick her up.  Something about a new home for that ugly little love-stealing mutt.  I felt like Christmas and birthday and everything beautiful had come early.  I'm free!  Suddenly, 26 annoying little puppies don't seem so bad. 

Weird Stuff!!!!

[The weird poky place.  I think they called it a vet.]

Hi hi hi!  I'm Bean!  The cat's not here, so I can share stuff with you!  I'm a puppy!  They took me lots of new places recently!  They took me to a weird place with nothing to play with.  They poked me with a needle thing.  It hurt all day.  I felt yucky and yelped whenever they touched me.  It was sad.  I hid in my bed all day, so no one would touch me.  But the next day, I felt way better.  It was great!  

[The weird Outside room]

Also, this week, for the first time ever, they took us to a big room called Outside.  It had a cold, hard ground with white stuff on it.  I think we're supposed to potty there, but I thought we were supposed to potty on those little pad things.  Anyway, so every little while, they take us to the big, cold Outside room, so we can potty.  But there's so much fun stuff to kill out there that it's hard to think about potty when we gotta play with mama and kill sticks and weeds and stuff.  It's so COOOL!!!

[The Walk thing.]

And yesterday, they put me in this thing they called a harness.  I didn't like that at all.  But then they took us down the road on what they called a Walk.  We just, you know, walked.  But it was sooo awesome!  We went a long long way.  My feet got tired, so I had to be held.  It was cold, but we got treats, so I LOVED it.  

[Weird stuff on the ground.]

And today, I went to the Outside room, and there was a whole new ground down.  It was really white and really cold and covered up all the fun stuff we usually like to play with out there.  It also covered up all my potty spots, so they were harder to find.  It got in my fur and everything.  I was so confused that the weird stuff was everywhere.  The Outside room and the poky place and the walk and everything make me think there's maybe more to this world than I thought there was.  I wonder what else is out there.  

Ah, man.  Ru the Cat here.   Shoo, little hairball. That dumb puppy stole my blog again.  Ah, well.  I guess that means I don't have to write one.  Wow, can I tell you how happy I am to not have to deal with all this crap?  Now, if only I didn't have puppies to deal with, my life would be perfect.