Noodle Ball?

 (The old noodle ball we didn't need around here.)

Ruru the Cat here.  So, I started to smell something really nasty recently.  Wasn't sure when those slow humans would get around to smelling it.  I really think something is wrong with their noses.  I steered clear of the boy human's room for a while before they got wind of it.  The boy human came running downstairs, swinging a nasty smelling thing that I'm pretty sure used to be a large snake that once or twice stole my blog.  Turned out it got sick and died.  The humans acted like this was some kind of tragedy, but I found that stupid thing annoying.  I mean, it's my blog, right?  Who wants a reptile around that steals a cat's blog?

[The new noodle ball we really really don't need around here.  Not much of a difference, I know.]

Anyway, so I no sooner got one blog thief out of the house than the humans showed up with another that smelled and looked a lot like it.  Seriously?  Can't a cat blog in peace around here?  And speak of the devil (yeah, I mean that literally), here it comes.  With big teeth and scary coils, or I wouldn't let it anywhere near my keyboard.

[Thisss isss me.  Lovely, aren't I?  Much more ssstriking than the lassst inhabitant of my cage.  Pun intended.]

Ssssso I hear I'm not the firssst cccivilizing influenccce who hasss taken over thissss thing called a blog.  Other reptilesss have been here before me, including one whom the humansss called Keylime Python I.  I hear I have been dubbed Keylime Python II.  Not that sssuch trivial thingssss asss human namesss for usss matter that much.  And not sssure why anyone would want to read the meandering sssillinesss written by a cat.  

But it issss niccce to be able to communicate with an audienccce.  I never had thisss opportunity in my lassst placcce.  I was kept in a tub comfortably beneath my human'sss bed.  I had no complaintsss.  I was quite fond of my human.  I am not sssure why that human had the poor sssenssse to sssend me here.  He had been getting quite busssy, not asss much time for me.  Ssso here I am, ssstuck in a houssse full of inedible prey like hedgehogsss, sssilly predatorsss like catsss and dogsss, and even sssillier humansss who think it worth their time to keep mammalsss around when they could just focusss on the higher life formsss, reptilesss.  At least I have a bigger ssspace to ssstretch out.   Well, it'sss niccce to meet you, reptilesss everywhere.  I'm going to sssleep now.  

[Me, ignoring the waste of time called a snake.]

I'm back, the awesome Ru.  Silly predators?  Lower life forms?  Humph.  Shows what that snobby snake knows.  They're my humans.  No one has a right to call them silly but me.  Man, that snake is an even bigger jerk than the last one.  Ignore pretty much everything that crazy snake said.  I still haven't figured out how to eat a big thing like that, or I'd tell you how they taste.