Weird Thing Speaks

Ruru the Cat here.  Baby has all the fun.  I got stuck in a room all day a couple of days ago when I heard this big crash.  I didn't know what happened until later.  My people freaked out and said that Baby had slipped into my person's bedroom and had knocked over the bearded dragon's cage.  I didn't even know what that funny little lizard was called until my people started hauling it around and talking about it.  A dragon?  I thought dragons were big and had wings.  

Anyway, our people talked about how Baby had knocked over and destroyed its cage then almost played it to death.  Man, why did I have to get stuck in that room on THAT day?  I could have played it the rest of the way to death.  Baby says she ran when our people came home.  She also says that lizard has pokie things all over, which makes it not as much fun to play with as a fluffy, tender mouse.  So I was poking around the room with the lizard's cage a couple of days later and found this note: 

Dearest human caretakers, I know not if I shall survive this day.  I have only been on the premises a fortnight or two, but I have had a pleasant and serene time until this very day.  My only source of unease has been the plethora of predatorial mammals that have stalked and regarded me with bloodlust in their gaze.  However, the thickness and durability of my fortress of solitude have eased my discomfort.  Besides, until today, my caretakers took great caution with the portal to the quarters in which I have sought refuge.  I spent my days hunting crickets or pondering my life's pursuits in reasonable tranquility with little foreboding until this very day when my humans neglected to latch the door.  

A short time ago, the persistence of one of the predators, one they call Baby, did force my fortress from its nook.  It shattered upon the furniture below, and I fled with much abandon, the fangs and claws of my nemesis in determined and demented pursuit.  I have lost track of the time she has spent toying with me.  I would suspect for one moment that I would escape, and then she would snatch me and pull me back. I have experienced untold pain and terror.  She is currently scouring her person prior to ending my life.  Fare you well, humans.  Know I do not bear you ill will for the moment of carelessness that has led me to my current fate.  

See, I'm a pretty good reader for a cat, but this doesn't make much sense to me.  I understand some of the words but other ones confuse me.  I'm thinking it may even be from that silly lizard.  But now, the lizard seems to be okay and is being carefully guarded.  I missed out.  I asked Baby how much fun it was to play with the lizard, but she just looks at me, kind of grumpy.  I think she's upset she was interrupted and didn't even get to taste it.  You'd think people would be happy to share such a yummy little thing.  They don't even eat it when they have the chance.   I just don't get people at all.