The REAL Way to Act like a Cat

This is Ruru the Cat here, and I refuse to let my sister, Baby, guest blog.  She wants to tell you...

                                                    (Doesn't Baby even look snotty?)
                                 (No, I look FABULOUS and self-assured.)
                                                 
Okay, little humans of the world.  This is Baby, the only cat around here who knows how to really act like a cat.  All that crap Ruru filled you with last week?  It's all mouse droppings.  That's not how a proper cat behaves.  Let me give you some evidence she doesn't know what she's talking about:

                                                        (Me, being adored and loved.)
                         (Correction, Ruru looking sycophantic and misused.)


1. She lets people [especially her human] do whatever they want to her, whenever they want. Really?  It's an embarrassment. Seriously, a cat decides how and when and if she should be touched.  The cat is in charge and sets the rules.  If a cat [say, me, for instance] only wants to be touched for ten seconds to ten minutes once a day, first thing in the morning when said human is not fully awake yet then will attack any hand that dares touch the cat's fur outside that arbitrary and self-chosen time frame, that is a cat's prerogative.  Cats are queens.  Humans are staff, living at the mercy and whim of the cat.  Clueless, little Ruru hasn't figured this out yet. Humans don't yet understand they have been conquered by the great and mighty feline and are owned body and soul.  

             (Me, coincidentally sitting somewhere near the puppy.)
              (Ruru kissing up to that stupid mutt.)

2. She likes the dog.  I mean, really.  Letting humans take untoward liberties is one thing.  But while she's writing here on this blog about how much she can't stand that stupid puppy, she's secretly snuggling and licking the dog and sharing her food with it.  It's just not right.  Dogs are unworthy to be noticed, let alone played with.  They can't even catch mice.  Little Ruru.  Pathetic little sister.  I've told you before.  This is not how a cat behaves. 

Whew.  I finally got my computer back.  Don't mind baby.  She thinks she rules the house.  Don't tell her we call her Queen Beast behind her back.  

I heard that!  You will pay for ... 

I think you've heard just about enough from her.  Please disregard my sister.  She just doesn't get it.  There's nothing so nice as being loved by a person.  Nothing at all.  And puppies aren't so bad.  You just have to get to know them.   

     (Me and my annoying sister, in case you're getting confused as to which is which.  The marble tabby with the gray background is Baby.  The marble tabby with the brown background is me.  See?  Huge difference.  Besides, we smell different.  That should help clarify everything.)