Can I Kill It?

 

[Not another danger noodle.]

Ruru: Ruru the cat here. So my people showed me yet another living noodle. I thought my people already had two of those. Why would they need ANOTHER snake when they have me? People just don't get it. I hear they feed these things rats or mice or something. Come on. Priorities. I'm here. I like rats and mice. Why give those to the wrong party when I'm here? 

[Looks edible.]

Hey, people, that thing you're showing me? Snuggles, is it? Can I have him? No? Okay, can I just play with him a little? He's small, smaller than me. You could leave him with me. I'll babysit. We could become best friends even. I'll take care of him. Then he won't be your problem anymore. You won't have to feed him...or me. At least for tonight. Seems like a good plan, a fun plan. Just let me take him off your hands. 

[Um...no]

Snuggles the Snake: That thing over there? I don't like it. It'sss ssscary. I like to eat sssmall, fluffy things. That thing is fluffy but not sssmall. And it hasss claws and teeth. I don't know what it isss, but keep me far, far away from it. 

[Mine]

Ruru: Seriously? You're taking his side? That ain't right, people. I've been your friend for years. And you don't trust me to take extra good care of that living string? I promise I won't kill it. Much. Only a little. I'll leave it almost as good as I found it. Sort of. If you're not going to give me his rats, the least you could do is leave us alone to play. 

[Look at me, innocent as the day is long.]

Fine. Be that way. I'll just watch. And wait. And watch closely. Can I get closer? Can I watch with my claws? Dangit, where are you going with that thing? Bring it back! It's mine! I claimed it. Gah. You owe me. I'd better get a really good Christmas present. Like a snake. 

My Jungle Gym's Guard

[Oh, for the day when the tree was mine.]

Ruru the Cat here. I used to own the tree as my personal jungle gym. I could protect it from all those who would challenge me. I could climb all over in the tree and knock off everything. They'd put it all back, and I could start over. The fragile stuff would shatter. It was very satisfying. 

[Not fair.]

Well, then other kittens then cats started muscling in on my jungle gym. They'd attack it and knock off MY ornaments. They'd kill MY tinsel and garlands. All I could do was try to attack them until they got too big. Then, I could only stand by and watch it happen. 

[Someone claimed my jungle gym.]

Then, a couple of years ago, a huge monster bigger than us all put together showed up and claimed the tree. He started out a kitten I could knock around. But then, he grew to the size of a panther and decided the tree was all his. Now, he stands guard by the tree (and sometimes in my tree) to make it clear none of the rest of us can touch it. Some of the others have managed to sneak by but not me. I've given up. 

[The big lug being shown he's not the biggest or the strongest.]

But my person showed him recently that he's not as big and strong as he thinks he is. She flipped him and held him as he growled and hissed. It was very satisfying, though I was also jealous at the same time. She's my person, not his. But this gave me hope that one of these days, I will get my tree back. I just have to be patient and stalk it. It will be mine again. Eventually.