Ruru the Cat here. My humans are deeply disturbed. That much is clear by the enemies they allow in their very house. In the past, they've allowed kitten after kitten in my house without asking my permission. KITTENS. Like the kind that don't know any better than to attack me. Eat my food. Ignore my orders. You know, TERRIBLE THINGS. I thought few things were worse than kittens.
But then, my humans would allow DOGS into my house. I'm not talking about our furniture dogs, the little throw rugs that sometimes eat my dog food. The nerve. Mostly, they provide body heat and comic relief to an otherwise peaceful existence. No, I mean real DOGS, like the scary yetis, smelly mutts, a big dog who has been visiting recently and who even pooped in my basement. Once again, I thought my humans couldn't stoop any lower.
But no, they found something else to bring in the house. I don't even have words for this thing. It has little horns that tell me it's dangerous. It has these weird eyes with RECTANGLES in them. Rectangles, I tell you. Who has those? It also has these legs that don't quit. Instead of ending in respectable toe beans like everyone around here has, they end in these sharp things that look deadly. They're pointy and mean-looking. Hooves, I think they're called. And the thing is ALL LEGS. There's a little body there, somewhere, but I imagine the thing can really stomp and kick us. It looks like a scary weapon more than a living thing. And they kept giving it milk that smelled good and, therefore, should have gone to me.
I just don't understand what my people are thinking. It's utter nonsense that they can let these monsters in my house without a royal decree of some sort, signed by me. My people just don't understand the rules of the world because I make them, and they clearly lack understanding of how to sue for my permission. Honestly. What is their problem?
